


Letting Dreams of Fame Take Over

by Teramina



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: (and also maybe write him as a pseudo villain), (bc he's the easiest angst target here and i love him), Canon Divergence, Gen, also copious mentions of alcohol, also there is some character death in here now, but i wanted to see taako use his own relic, but im writing this as i go so i'll add other character tags if and when they come up, but murder happens, content warning for suicidal ideation?, dont think it counts as major character?, its very minor and really only implied but better to tag it anyway, so watch out for that, taako's not having a good time, the philosopher's stone counts as a character bc it gets povs, very self indulgent au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-03-08 22:30:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 61,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13467915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teramina/pseuds/Teramina
Summary: Nearly a year after Glamour Springs, Taako is still distant and wandering, looking for any kind of purpose, something to do with the rest of his life that doesn't feel meaningless in the wake of everything he failed.The Philosopher's Stone, since the relic war ended, has found itself bored. Few chanced upon it anymore, and those that did destroyed themselves so quickly. It needed more of a challenge, someone whose mind wouldn't be so easy to twist. At least, not for now.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Title from [Saddam](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgFz48O3d-I) by AlicebanD bc its a very good and very Taako song
> 
> (Though please note that my friend campaigned relentlessly for me to name this fic "taako gets stoned.")

The light of creation didn't really have sentience, not in the way a creature would view it. It wasn't a person, it wasn't even really an object, it was a tool, that should never have fallen into the world it once shaped.

The light didn't have thoughts, didn't have desires, but it did have a purpose.

It was a light that existed to be used. It needed to be needed. It was never supposed to be split up.

When it was divided into objects, objects created by people and infused with their magic, they corrupted it. Gave it personality and thoughts and a reason to use its nearly unlimited power.

And in turn, it corrupted them.

The piece of the light that now called itself the Philosopher's Stone was bored. That was a new sensation, boredom. The light existed outside of all creation, outside of time and space, it had no concept of the passing of time, nor of productivity. It was simply used, and then waited to be used again.

But the Philosopher's Stone wasn't just the light. It was a combination of two sources, a timeless power, and the magical essence of a living person. Whatever the Philosopher's Stone was now, it had _thoughts_. It had wants, and ideas, and a _personality_.

It wanted... hmm. What _did_ it want? Well, it wanted to be used, for one thing, but that was nothing new. That was the nature of the light inside it. It wanted... it wanted adventure. It wanted to travel, like its predecessor, like... _both_ its predecessors? It didn't want to be stuck at the bottom of a well, all alone.

...It didn't want to be alone. Not that it feared it, being a stone full of pure reality shaping energy left one little in this world to fear. But the experience of time passing, without anyone to talk to, the world going on without it, well, that was less than ideal.

And so, it called out to them. Crept into the minds of passers-by and prayed that one of them would rescue it from this dark, wet hole it had found itself in.

It was a long time before anything happened. The stone's interactions with living beings had been limited, in its short existence as a stone, but as far as it could tell, people weren't usually inclined to searching the bottom of a well full of other similar rocks for that one particular rock that was talking to them. As far as it could tell, people weren't usually inclined to realise it was the rock that was talking to them.

It happened eventually, though. One night a man was passing the well on his way home, a man carrying mining gear, who looked... tired, with how his life had unfolded so far, at the hand he'd been dealt by fate. And the stone reached out to him. Crept into his mind and promised, well, exactly what the stone was good at - it promised change.

The man had all the riches he could ever want, and the stone, for the first time, got what it wanted - a way to travel, and a person to do it with.

It didn't last. Not with this man. The stone learned that day that living people couldn't handle the power of the light, not even a fraction of it, and keep their minds. But they couldn't let it go either - the man tried, once or twice, but the thrall was too strong to overcome. So they used the light, because it needed to be used, and destroyed themselves in the process.

And from the ruins of a family now turned entirely to gold, house and all, the stone found itself once again, alone.

The process went quicker, now that people knew of the stone's existence. It didn't have to reach out as much, people came to it. And every time, they lost themselves, and there was destruction, and then the stone changed hands again.

The stone found it didn't care much for the people it landed with. They were short lived, little more than a means to an end. The stone needed to be used, and so it was. If some would call it evil for the frequency with which it caused destruction, the stone would call itself efficient. All it did was transform, it was the living beings that caused the ruin.

It chanced upon a human child once. Unlike the adults that had used it before, a child's mind was... simpler. Children, it seemed, did not concern themselves with politics, or worthiness, or hierarchy. What riches they sought varied wildly, but the motivations were the same. The child, though. The child didn't use the stone as a way to get rich, or a way to defeat their enemies. They simply wanted candy, and the stone gave it to them. But a child's mind was also limitless, and rarely considered the consequences. And when the sun rose the next morning over the town of Armos, the dawn light found nothing but peppermint.

And the cycle began once more.


	2. Chapter One

Taako had been awake all of five seconds and could already tell this was going to be a very shitty day. Partially because he had a hangover. Mostly because every single day of his life had been shitty lately.

He debated just going back to sleep. It's not like he had anywhere to fucking be, he hadn’t in a while, and the sunlight shining in his face was making his head hurt. But he'd been staying at this inn for three days already, which meant the likelihood of him being recognised was getting higher by the minute. And that was the last thing he wanted to deal with right now. He needed to just suck it up and move on.

Funny, the things you could get used to. As a kid he would have considered just being able to afford staying at an inn a luxury, but give an elf a few years of living well and all of a sudden this barely surviving shit felt even worse than it ever did before. Not that he'd lost the ability to do it, he still remembered how to stretch a tight budget, and had a decent amount of pick-pocketing tricks still up his sleeve for when that failed. But the mental exertion, having to constantly be alert, making sure to cover your tracks, carefully rationing everything because you weren't sure where your next meal would come from - yeah, he would have been happy to never go back to that again.

But now he didn't have a choice, because he'd royally fucked up the only thing going for him in just about the worst way possible, and he was left to just keep wandering and hiding while he debated what to do with his life now, and whether or not there was any point to any of it.

He had been leaning towards 'no', as of late.

Honestly, Taako was just tired. Glamour Springs had been nearly a year ago and his life was showing no signs of improvement. In fact, it was doing basically the opposite. He was still alone, still fucking _useless_ , but the longer he kept drifting, the less money he had. He was pretty sure the only thing keeping him going at this point was years of survival instincts, the singular focus of just living one more day because sometimes that was all you could do. That and getting fucking wasted whenever he could justify buying a shit ton of cheap alcohol. So, basically whenever he could afford it without going hungry for the next few days. Sometimes even then.

All this shit was easier to think about while drinking. Sure, it didn’t make it _better_ , and sure, he ended up eventually passing out most nights, but it gave him the bravery to at least confront his current situation. To think about his options, and then realise there weren't any, that his one chance had failed, and he'd just end up in this routine until he died, whenever that may be. (Hopefully sooner than later, elf lifespans were long, and the thought of spending half a millennium like this was honestly sickening). But during the day, when he didn’t have the luxury of inebriation, he just kept going through the motions, because he didn't know how to do anything else.

And going through the motions meant finding a ride out of here, preferably as quickly as possible.

He should probably get some breakfast, but fuck it, he’d eat something on the way, he was in a hurry, and also didn’t want to think about food right now. He just packed up the rest of his meagre belongings (gods he missed the days when doing an inventory check was anything but depressing), and, so he wouldn't have to deal with anyone, cast Disguise Self to look like some random stranger. The kind of guy that blends easily into a crowd. Basically the opposite of Taako's usual style, but that was for the best. Taako was the last person anyone wanted him to be right now.

Burning a spell this early in the day could cause trouble later, he didn't have as many as he liked to pretend he did, but at this point he was singularly failing to give a shit, and Taako wouldn't be Taako if he didn't use magic at any and all opportunities to make his life easier.

Leaving the inn, he made his way over to the market place, hoping to stumble across someone he could hitch a ride with. Preferably someone that wouldn't stab him in the back the moment he let his guard down even slightly. But those were in short supply, especially given that Taako had been encountering another problem since _Sizzle It Up!_ failed - he wasn't good for jack shit.

As a kid he'd always made his way with cooking, everyone needed a chef, and people were usually willing to pay decent money for his expertise. Or at the very least, give him a free bed and the relative safety of travelling in a group. But that ship sailed with the end of his show. He couldn't cook now, he couldn't risk it. Not that he particularly _cared_ about anyone here (he had a hard time seeing people as real people sometimes, especially if they weren't in his life for long), but accidentally killing your crew made for a bad rest of trip, to say the least.

As for any other useful talents, well, he was a shitty fighter, so mercenary work was out. He had magic, yeah, but most of it was showy bullshit, and Prestidigitation wouldn't get you very far in the real world. He could cast an okay Magic Missile, but that was nothing compared to legitimate wizards. Up against anyone competent, he was likely to get killed very quickly, and as much as he hated his current situation, Taako was not onboard with the whole violent death thing.

But, you know, when in doubt, bluff, when bluff fails, get the fuck out of there with as much of their stuff as you can carry. Hadn't steered him wrong yet.

* * *

Bluffing did not go as well as he'd hoped. Either there just weren't many people passing through here, or none of them were willing to take on a random stranger with shaky credentials at best. Which was a smart move, in theory, but also, it was currently ranking #1 in Taako's list of inconveniences, which meant they needed to knock it off, stat.

He was half considering just giving up and casting Charm Person on the nearest caravan owner (which, limiting yourself to cantrips this early in the day? _Bad fucking idea_ ), when he actually lucked out. Whatever guy he’d been making casual conversation with turned out to run some kind of performing crew (Theatre maybe? Taako wasn’t really paying attention to the details), who were stopping here for the night and leaving in the morning for Fairwyn. And he was willing to take a hitchhiker, provided Taako helped when he was needed, and didn't cause trouble.

Awesome. Taako was great at not causing trouble. Ask anyone. Or, don't actually, there was no one to ask and causing trouble was basically all he ever did, but he could manage a couple of days. Keep his head down, don't waste spell slots (which he'd be burning on Disguise Self anyway to keep this up), don't get attached. The usual deal. He wished they would leave _today_ , and not make him spend another night here, but, you know, take what you can get. With any luck he could convince them to let him stay in the caravan overnight, no need to find a new place to stay. And he’d always liked performing crews. Less so now that he’d been one himself, a lot of bad memories, but Taako was an entertainer at heart, he got along with them much better than he did mercs. And who knows, maybe some of his showy bullshit magic would actually be useful enough to get him a job. He could really use the money.

Making a note of their schedule so he could find his way back to this group, he left the manager guy to do whatever it was he was doing here. Supply run probably.

Which left Taako the rest of the day to himself. Never a good idea. Bored Taako tended to push at the limits of cautious Taako on the best of days, and right now definitely didn’t qualify as a good day. He probably wouldn’t do anything too stupid, he didn’t really have the energy for anything major anymore, but he should probably find something to occupy himself before he started idly stealing shit.

Taako had always hated waiting around like this, he liked _doing_ stuff. He always had something to occupy him as a kid, right? Inventory checks or cooking prep or practicing magic- wait, no, magic was a more recent development. Maybe watching someone else practice magic? He used to travel with wizards a lot, there was always something interesting going on. Probably. Whatever, thinking about it made his head hurt.

Cooking was out. Inventory was dealt with (and also, depressing). The money situation was bad, but not immediately worrying. He had enough for the next few days, maybe more if the caravan let him have a few free meals. It was too late to get a job here anyway, not if they were leaving in the morning, he’d worry about it once they got to Fairwyn.

He could try going over magic? Maybe not. He wasn’t really feeling it, hadn’t been since… _that_ happened. Magic shouldn’t be used for fun, he’d learned that the hard way. It was strictly a tool, and clearly Taako had a long way to go in using that tool correctly.

Not to mention practicing magic was always difficult on the road. You had to be careful, or you’d use up your energy when you might need it later, and resting wasn’t always an option. Transmutation magic wasn’t as bad as Evocation or Conjuration, where you were literally creating things, at least you had something to solid work with, but it still needed energy, and that took more out of him than he liked to admit.

Somewhere in his thoughts he’d ended up wandering, moving away from the busy marketplace and towards the outskirts of the city. Fewer people out this way at least. Fewer everything, really. He kicked at a rock at the side of the road, and watched it fly a few feet in a cloud of dust. And then, at some point, like he had just crossed an invisible threshold, he felt it. Some kind of change in the atmosphere- or, the field of magic?

He stopped walking, focusing more on whatever weird thing he just felt. Yeah, that - that was definitely magic. There was something tugging slightly at his consciousness, like it wanted Taako to come closer.

Well, that was suspicious as fuck. Taako refused to die by walking straight into a trap, that was so not his style. But he was still curious about what was causing it, this was a pretty standard farming town, not the sort of place you'd find a powerful dark wizard.

So he started making his way towards it, in as circuitous a path as is possible on a wide road with minimal houses. Yep, this is exactly how you avoid getting caught in a trap, Taako, well done. Good to see all that life experience is paying off. Survived this long just to walk straight at the weird magic calling you towards it. Do you not know better than this? It’s not like you to just trust like that, you’ve been through too much for that, do you not want more than this, do you not _deserve better than this?_

Wait, what? _Shit._ What was that? That wasn't a Taako thought. I mean, it was convincing enough, sure, but Taako was aware enough to know that that did not come from his own mind. It had to be coming from whatever power source this was.

Following voices in his head? Not Taako's usual shtick. Not a good idea in general, really. But this one felt, familiar somehow. It shouldn't, Taako didn't have any family, or friends, or anyone close to him, which was honestly just screaming 'trap', and he'd have to be on guard about that. But there was just something about it that he couldn't ignore, the instinct that said this could be a very good thing indeed.

What it led him to, was a small rock lying by the side of the road. Smooth, grey, and small enough to fit in your palm, it didn't seem much different to any other rock you'd find by the side of the road. Could easily have been the one he kicked at earlier. (It wasn’t, but it could have been). And there was an energy coming off of it, a very powerful one, that meant this rock wasn't all it appeared to be.

Taako knelt down next to the stone, and picked it up, inspecting it closer.

If he had to guess, he'd say it was a transmutation stone? Not that he was powerful enough to make one himself, but he'd seen them before, somewhere, he was sure, and he knew more or less how they worked. Maybe something he'd picked up from a wizard he'd travelled with once? Maybe he'd read a book about them? Whatever, it didn't matter, the point was he could recognise it when he saw it. He didn't know what it was doing out here though, or what had happened to the wizard who made it. Transmutation stones were one of a kind, you couldn't just buy one at any old marketplace. They had to be handmade, imbued with the power of the maker, and you couldn't make doubles. If you tried, the force of splitting your power like that would shatter the stone. And whoever made this one had to be alive, or at least recently dead, otherwise the stone wouldn't be this powerful. That kind of energy needed somewhere to draw from, or it would start to fade.

Well, finders keepers, he guessed. There was no rule saying transmutation stones had to stay in the hands of the maker. And it might be useful. At the very least he could sell it for good money. Taako needed everything he could get at this point.

Standing up, he dropped the stone into his pocket (enchanted against thieves, obviously), and continued on his way.

* * *

Well now. This was interesting.

The Philosopher's Stone had changed hands many times in the eight years since its creation. Most of those, uninteresting. Sometimes it would be found by someone with more resilience, someone harder to tempt, and it would enjoy the challenge of bending them to its will. But all succumbed eventually. And whatever had happened six years ago to make people stop seeking it, had left the stone, well, incredibly bored.

It was used to that one by now.

People still chanced across it, of course. Once found, the stone would be used as it always was. But the stone's need to be desired, to be wanted, someone had stopped feeding it. Which made everything... incredibly inconvenient. It longed for new experiences, for adventure, for the world to seek it once more.

This, however. The stone could never have predicted this.

It had only known its creator for five days, a long time ago. Nothing to warrant remembering. In fact, until now, the stone barely remembered it had a creator. It simply was, and would continue to be.

But the hands that held it now were familiar ones. Almost literally - after all, if the stone could be said to have family, it would be the wizard whose magical essence it shared.

That wizard, long ago, could never have been tempted by the stone. It simply was not desired by its creator. And it needed that desire to fulfill its purpose.

But that wizard now was, different. Unknowing. Whatever he had once been had been somehow, erased. Curious. The stone, and its siblings, were capable of many great and terrible things. But the stone had never seen a person be changed like this.

There were still certain barriers. The Philosopher's Stone couldn't twist his heart, not like the others. But it could still touch his mind. It still held the power of temptation.

This was going to be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i think im gonna try to stick to a weekly schedule with this? im about 3 chapters ahead atm and i'd like to stay that way, but we'll see how it goes
> 
> (also this chapter two: chapter one thing is gonna get real confusing real fast but we all gotta deal with it bc i like my prologue lmao)


	3. Chapter Two

If Taako had to pick something to call home, it would be the experience of a moving caravan at night. Not that it was particularly comfortable, and it didn't smell great either, but since he didn't really belong to any one place or people, this was about as familiar as it got. And it was comforting, in its own way. There was just something about travelling that felt _right_.

It had been about a day since they'd left that last town, but they were still a ways from their destination, and on a pretty tight schedule, which meant travelling through the night. Taako didn't know what time it was, but it had to be pretty late, since he was the only one awake. It meant he could drop the Disguise Self spell he’d been burning since yesterday, but it was still far too quiet for Taako’s liking. Most of the crew were humans, with the odd dwarf or tiefling, which wasn't uncommon in these parts, and Taako was used to being the only elf in any given travelling party. Of course being the only elf also meant long nights spent mindlessly busying himself as everyone else slept. It was routine by now. He’d never really gotten used to it, though. Something about it still felt, lonely, somehow.

He probably just got too used to travelling with a partner. Fuck if he was ever gonna do that again, though. He didn't blame Sazed for leaving, Taako probably would have done the same if their positions were reversed. But it just added a whole new level of hurt to an already shitty situation and Taako wasn't the kind of person to put himself in that position if he didn't have to.

Aaaand, this was exactly the sort of bullshit he shouldn't be thinking about sober. Fuck. It wasn't like his mood had been _good_ before, but damn if that didn't just knock it down even lower. Which was what always happened, because Taako was really bad at just not thinking about stuff that bothered him. Even if he did his very best to never address it.

He didn't have much in the way of good distractions either, not with everyone asleep, a limit on how much noise he could make, and very little to do. Although... there was that probably-a-transmutation-stone he found earlier... Wasn't there a page on transmutation stones in his book somewhere?

Grabbing his bag, he rummaged through it for the transmutation textbook he'd picked up at one point. He'd had this thing forever, didn't even remember where he got it, but for some reason he'd never wanted to sell it. And as his show got more popular, it had given him some good ideas for keeping the audience entertained.

Fuck, no, stay on topic. Checking the book for more info. Not thinking about that.

It didn't take long to find the right page. Taako only owned two books, he knew them both pretty well now that he had more downtime than he'd ever wanted to. Pulling the stone out of his pocket, he scanned through the info, seeing if this did fit the criteria.

For the most part, it did. It did entirely, in fact. The problem was what wasn't mentioned. There was no record anywhere Taako could find of transmutation stones being able to do anything like what it did that morning, calling him towards it.

Was it cursed? Could transmutation stones be sentient? They contained a piece of a mage's magic, yes, but that didn't give them the power to think for themselves. And they were just transmutation, they shouldn't be able to cast enchantment magic.

There were probably spells that could analyse it further, but divination had never been Taako's strong suit. He was better at spells that involved real physical objects, stuff you could work with, not convincing the universe to explain shit, or however it was divination worked.

There was one way to figure out if it was sentient, though. And he was holding it in his hands.

"Yo, can you like, think?" He whispered at the rock. Fuck, this felt ridiculous. "I mean, that's kind of a weird question to ask an inanimate object, but you did some shit back there that honestly you shouldn't have been able to do, so I'm hoping that extends to the ability to communicate somehow. Still not sure if you're cursed, I'd like it if you weren't, 'cause that would make me look like kind of an idiot for just taking you with me like that, but hey, only one way to find out, right?"

There was a pause, in which Taako just stared uncertainly at the stone, unsure which outcome he wanted to happen. The stone didn't react.

"I mean, okay, there were probably many ways to find out, this isn't a very well thought out plan, but it's what I'm going with, so if you are a something in there, you know, let ch'a'boy in on it, yeah?"

The stone remained silent. Taako slumped down, disappointed. This whole thing was clearly pointless, and he had finally been reduced to _talking to a rock_. But then-

_"What do you most want?"_

It didn't sound like talking, per se, more, projecting words into his mind. But it sure was coming from the stone in his hands. Jackpot.

"You mean like in life, for breakfast, what are we talking here?"

_"You're a smart wizard, you can figure it out. What do you use transmutation for? I can turn anything into anything. What do you most want?"_

"You know I'm gonna need more than that, right? You're not a fucking genie."

_"How would you know?"_

Because Taako didn't deserve a fucking genie. If the rock was as powerful as it claimed to be (which Taako was inclined to believe, going by the raw magic he could _feel_ coming off the thing), then there was no way it would just fall into his possession without a catch.

"I'm not that lucky, and I'm also not stupid enough to take you at face value."

The stone paused for a moment, as if considering this. Yeah, fuck you, take that, stone. It took more than that to sway Taako.

_"I'm not asking for your trust, wizard. I'm showing you what can be done with a little power. Pick a spell in that book of yours. One you never tried casting. Try it now."_

....He couldn't deny that was sort of tempting. How many ways could this rock fuck him over if he tried this? Not that many, right? It was essentially a focus that came power already included. There was always the possibility it needed him to cast spells, but what could a rock do with a malicious spell anyway? The worst that could happen is the caravan got a bit fucked up, and it wouldn't be the first time Taako got himself kicked out of a caravan in the middle of the night. Okay, there were probably worse things that could happen, but Taako was willing to take the risk, the pros definitely outweighed the cons on this one.

And maybe there was a small amount of excitement at the prospect that he was trying to quash - these things never worked out in his favour, but it was the first positive emotion he'd felt in weeks, so fuck it, maybe he wanted to be excited.

Okay. He'd test it once. Something harmless, or at least, something that wouldn't destroy anything if it backfired.

He flipped through the book again. Most of the spells in here he'd never attempted, because if he was honest, level one spells were the only ones Taako could cast those with any kind of accuracy, anything else either failed or misfired, and either way left him feeling drained and exhausted.

He eventually landed on Blink. He wasn't sure why this in particular, it just felt right as a test spell. It wasn't too complicated, and didn't require material components, just the right gesture and incantation. (Not that the stone would have needed components anyway though, it was powerful enough to bypass them).

The incantation came strangely easily to him, like he'd done this hundreds of times before. He got that a lot with transmutation magic sometimes. Weird intuition about the way a spell should work, or ways to improve it, make it more efficient. He really wished he'd discovered it earlier, so he'd have more spell slots to support the fact that he was just, really good at this.

He waved his hand, stone in palm, and in an instant, he was in the ethereal plane. Everything was still where it had been before, but it was outlined in white, and glowing faintly. There was no colour here, but all the lights were off, so he couldn't see colour back in the prime material plane either. He'd test it again during daylight.

So. This was what that spell did. He walked to the nearest wall, and put his hand up to it. It phased right through. _Shit_ , this was cool.

It didn't last long. Blink was a very short spell, and he could feel it time out after a few seconds, leaving him standing by the wall, a few feet away from where he'd been before he cast it. But he cast it. A third level spell. Like it was nothing.

Yeah, wherever this rock came from, Taako was never letting go of it, this was the best focus ever.

Okay, wait, no, what the fuck was he thinking? The rock could still be dangerous, or a trap. One successful spell didn't mean shit. Taako refused to be taken advantage of so easily. Magic was a tool, and a weapon. Caution was important. He had to take this slow. Use it for emergencies only, until he got a better read on what exactly it was.

But, for now, just maybe, things were starting to go right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kind of a short one this week, but next chapter is the longest yet so it evens out


	4. Chapter Three

The morning the caravan rolled into town, here was the scene.

Taako, sitting in the corner some distance away from everyone else, rereading through his book on transmutation. The stone, at the bottom of Taako’s bag. Taako’s bag, on the floor, far enough away that he couldn’t just grab the stone whenever he wanted to use it (he was serious about this "only in emergencies" thing), but close enough that he wouldn’t lose any of his shit to thieves. Crew members, slowly waking up, ready to begin their day. Light shining through the windows, and an air of peaceful routine.

It wouldn’t last.

Taako had been mostly staying away from the rest of the group until they needed him. Making himself useful would put him in better favour with the guy running this shit, but trying to make friends probably wouldn't work out well. He had a track record of failure when it came to getting anyone to like him for more than about an hour, and if he was honest, he hadn’t actually got any rest all night. It was far from the longest he’d ever stayed up, he’d be fine, but forcing himself to socialise properly was energy he couldn't afford to waste. He already had to be careful with his spell slots, Disguise Self wasn’t really supposed to be used non stop like this. And while it was possible the crew had never heard of Taako, since they travelled as much as he used to, if he dropped the spell he’d have to explain why he had it in the first place, and that was a recipe for disaster.

He did grab some breakfast when it was available though - not as good as he could have made, but it would do, and helped them unload their equipment. They had a pretty impressive setup here, considering their resources, and Taako was willing to bet there was magic involved. They'd probably draw a pretty good crowd.

Gods he missed having an audience. He missed this lifestyle, really. There was really nothing better than the thrill of being on stage, something Taako had been lacking in lately. He probably wasn't ready to start up anything of his own again, not for a long time (if ever), but maybe there was something more he could do here, that would actually be fun, instead of an endless cycle of necessity.

He... could talk to the manager about joining up? The guy was evidently pretty chill, judging by the fact that he just _let_ Taako come with them, and Taako was good with Prestidigitation, which was really half of what went into performance magic.

No, he shouldn't, that was such a bad idea. Sure, it would be a stable job, but staying with one group of people for longer than a couple of days never worked out well. Plus, he would have to keep burning through disguise spells, which severely limited his usual escape plans.

Was it really worse than what he had going now, though? He was still keeping it up most of the time, he only dropped it when there was no one else around, or he really needed the spell slots. He'd have to find a job somewhere, this at least would be something he enjoyed. Even if it was just running errands for the group, he'd been doing that basically his whole life, he could find a way to make this work, right?

Fuck it, he was just gonna ask. Maybe the manager would say no anyway and he wouldn't have to make a decision. Better to get all his options on the table.

He found the director with some of the other crew, a couple of performers, the chef, and a big burly guy that was probably security. They all seemed friendly enough though, or at least, not likely to kill him for interrupting, which was good enough for Taako.

He waited for them to finish their conversation, then approached the director.

"So, uh... as you may know, I'm kind of out of a job at the moment, and, you know, I was wondering if you needed any extra help around here, maybe?"

The director seemed hesitant, but didn't immediately shut him down, which was a good sign.

"Listen, I'd love to help you, I would, but I don't know if we really need another person on board, here, if I'm honest. What do you bring to the table, anything that'll make it worth it to keep you around in the long run?"

Normally, Taako had a good answer for this question. He just rambled off something complicated about cooking, and made them a good meal out of whatever they had lying around to prove himself. People didn't usually turn him down after that. But since cooking was permanently off the table, he had to improvise with what he had.

“Well, uh, I’m pretty good at the whole, magic thing, not to brag, but I have plenty of experience in helping a show reach its greatest potential through a bit of the ol’ arcane arts, as it were, you would not regret having me on board. But if that’s not your style, I can handle the, uh, organisation stuff too, particularly when it comes to your purchases, there’s no one better at getting you great value for your money.”

The man looked skeptical about the magic, like he could tell Taako only had a few cantrips to his name, and was hyping it up. But apparently he was genuine enough on the rest of it, because-

"Well, I'm not sure about indefinitely yet, we're not running a charity here. But no one said I was an unfair man, if you need the job, then yeah I'll give you a chance to pull your weight. We've got a couple of supplies that need getting here, couldn't pick 'em up in the last town." He produced a list from his pocket and handed it over. "See if you can get 'em all for me. Can't have you runnin' off with our money though, so Sen here, our security guy, he's gonna keep an eye on you," He called over the tall guy Taako had seen earlier, who probably looked strong enough to crush someone's head between his hands, and could definitely take Taako in a fight if it came to that. Cooool. So no attempted thievery. That was fine, he could do that. Particularly with that kind of motivation. To the market they go.

Sen, at least for the first part of their trip, was very talkative. He seemed like a friendly guy, and yeah, Taako supposed that made sense, if you were just looking to fight stuff, you joined a band of mercs, not a theatre company. It didn't mean Taako actually wanted to _listen_ to what he had to say though, so he kept his replies pretty short and to the point. Sen eventually stopped bothering with starting conversations, which suited Taako just fine.

The market itself was huge and sprawling - Fairwyn was a pretty big city, and people clearly came from all the surrounding villages to sell their goods. They’d be able to find whatever they needed here for sure.

The list was pretty long, and took them all over the place, but this at least was something Taako was good at. He'd survived on far tighter budgets, and managed to turn them into something good. Half of his famous recipes had developed due to having to improvise around limited ingredient options. And when it came to bargaining down the price of something, tricking merchants into selling it for cheap, or straight up just stealing it when they weren't looking, you wouldn't find anyone better than Taako.

He was comparing prices on fabrics for some costume or other, when he felt a hand on his bag. Yeah, Taako recognised an attempted pickpocketing when he saw one, you'd have to try a lot harder than that to steal from _him_. He turned quickly, backing up and looking for the thief, but found only... his escort?

It must have been him, there was no one else close enough, and he was looking at Taako weirdly now, a look that said he wanted something. But that didn't make sense. Why would _Sen_ try to steal from him?

"Woah, homie, hands off the merchandise," Taako said to him, as soon as he was out of range. Normally he'd be out of there by now, he wouldn't even bother with the conversation, but running would ruin his chances of getting anywhere with this group, and something about this didn't feel right. He'd expect this in a crowded square, or a deserted alley, from someone on the streets, but not in broad daylight from someone who a) had a job already, and b) was clearly not very good at this. Had he ever tried to steal anything in his life? Why now?

...Shit. Had Sen been awake last night? Had he seen everything Taako had done with the stone? That had to be it, he didn't really have anything else of value on him, and there was no way someone without magic could have felt its power, right? Even if he had, it shouldn't make him act like that, Taako had had it for two days now and he was fine.

Also, he seemed... almost angry? Taako totally wasn't scared of him, not even a bit, even if he was significantly bigger and wouldn't stop staring at him and okay yeah maybe Taako was a bit nervous now?

"You good, my dude? 'Cause that was a not great thing you just did, but you're lookin' a bit spaced out there, and, uh, ch'a'boy's in a generous mood, so how's about you back off a bit and we let the whole thing go?"

Sen didn't even attempt to apologise, didn't say anything, just made another grab for Taako. Already on edge, Taako didn't hesitate, just cast a shaky Fire Bolt at the ground between them and sprinted in the other direction. Figuring out what was happening wasn't worth getting into a fight he couldn't win.

Though seriously, what the fuck was that? People didn't just, do that, out of the blue. Did the director know he was employing someone like that? Did he send him with Taako on purpose?

Either way, one thing was for sure - Taako couldn't stay with that crew. In fact, it would probably be best to get as far away as possible now he'd technically attacked someone. Even if it wasn't his fault, he had no standing with these people. He could explain what happened, but there was no way they'd believe a random stranger over a member of their own crew.

There went the possibility of getting a job there, he guessed. It would have been full of complications anyway, it was better to just leave, but... Taako really missed the feeling of travelling for fun, not as a means of running away. Like he was doing now. Like he always ended up doing, especially recently. Half the people who knew him wanted him dead, and apparently not even the people who didn't know him wanted him around. Or, more accurately, just didn't care. Yeah... sounds about right.

Fuck, no, he had to stop dwelling on this shit. That crew was a means to an end, that's all it should have been, move the fuck on. He was in a big city now, with new people and new opportunities, he'd find something else. Starting with somewhere to stay. There had to be somewhere with rooms around here, right? He'd just keep walking 'til he found it. The usual routine.

The first one he came across was an inn two streets down. It was a pretty tall building, compared to those around it, and seemed pretty nice, which made sense, this was a pretty big city, they probably entertained rich people from all over.

Which meant it was probably outside of Taako's budget. Especially now his savings were running so low. He was better off going elsewhere.

An hour of searching later yielded nothing else that wasn't already booked. Well, fuck. He really didn't want to spend tonight outside. Also, it was starting to look like it was going to rain, which shifted that prospect from uncomfortable to dangerous.

He could try to find a job around here somewhere? But it was already getting into the afternoon, there wouldn't be much that paid by the hour, especially not at any kind of decent rate.

He... could transmute the copper coins in his pocket into gold. Taako didn't know a good spell for that, but the stone probably did. He _had_ resolved to only use the stone in emergencies, but this counted as an emergency, right? His options were really limited right now, and this was a pretty basic transmutation.

Fuck it, he was just gonna do it before he thought too much into it. He deserved this.

He ended up transmuting a few rocks and other small things too, when he ran out of coins to work with. But it worked, he had somewhere to sleep, that was actually pretty nice, and he had enough spare gold to not have to worry about surviving the next few days. Also there was a bar downstairs, so, bonus.

Taako finished climbing the stairs to his room, and dumped his bag on the floor, collapsing on the bed. He really didn't feel like doing anything else today. Which was kinda pathetic, considering he'd barely done anything so far, but fuck it, he had money now, he could afford to just lie here as long as he wanted.

He also dropped the disguise spell as soon as he had the door closed. And _fuck_ , that had been draining him. He'd sort of gotten used to having it there, but being able to actually _rest_ was more of a relief than he'd been expecting.

What if he just took a nap for the next few days. He could do that now, right? And it was sounding pretty tempting. Just sleeping through everything and not having to think about life or people or consequences.

_"You're welcome."_ The stone projected in his direction.

"Fuck off." Taako mumbled back, face still in his pillow.

_"Yeah, yeah, okay."_ The stone didn't have a mouth, or any kind of facial features, but somehow Taako could feel the humour in its tone. _"Just letting you know you can trust me."_

"I don't trust anyone."

_"Since when did I count as a someone?"_

"Since you started annoying me like one."

_“You’re really not one for conversation, are you.”_

“Got it in one. And right now all I really wanna do is take a nap, so can you shut up so I can sleep?”

Taako was pretty sure the stone was judging him for that, but it did stop talking. Which, cool. Taako was done caring about this particular situation. It was raining slightly outside, which was a relaxing sound when you were inside. He had no obligation to confront reality for at least the rest of the day, and he was taking advantage of it.

When he woke up it had started raining in earnest, making Taako glad he was inside. It had also gotten darker, though it didn't seem to be night yet, probably around 5 or 6pm? He should eat something, it had been like... 10 hours? Far from the longest he'd gone without food, but definitely long enough that dinner sounded like a very good idea. He’d get something from downstairs soon. Whenever he woke up enough to be mobile and presentable and all that. Redo the glamour. He had his spell slots back, which was nice. It meant he had at least one spare for the next hour or so, instead of just burning through them.

_“You wouldn’t even need spell slots if you’d get over yourself and accept my help.”_

Oh yeah. That was there too. The stone was useful, or at the very least valuable, which was why Taako was keeping it around, but gods was he so over the righteous bullshit.

“Strong words from a sentient transmutation stone that hasn’t said a word about anything other than itself since I picked it up.”

_“At least I have actions to back up my words. I’m the reason you’re in this place at all. What have you ever done?”_

"Fuck you for even suggesting that. I've known you for a few days, I made it through _years_ on my own. _I'm_ the reason I'm still here, it's got nothing to do with you. I don't need you. So if that's your opinion you can just sit in that bag until I decide to get rid of you."

The stone said nothing. Taako wanted nothing more than to slam the door on it, but he didn't like leaving his stuff anywhere not on his person, too many chances for things to go wrong. So instead he went for pointedly ignoring it as he made his way downstairs.

* * *

Here's how most of Taako's evenings went. The first few drinks were just for the fun of it, an indulgence more than anything, a way to clear his head and relax more than he'd normally be able to.

Then, something went wrong, usually he got reminded of things he didn't want to think about, so he had a few more to make it hurt less.

Then things tended to get very out of hand very quickly, and at some point along the way he stopped remembering how the rest of the evening went. No doubt it involved a bunch of emotions Taako didn't normally deal with and eventually he just passed out. Most of the time he made it back to his room before that happened. Sometimes he didn't, and had to be woken up by the barkeeper when they started closing up.

But this evening, he hadn't yet hit the point of no return. He was still pretty fucking drunk, but like... he was _good_. No crying had yet happened, which was always a plus. And he wasn't thinking about those things he didn't want to think about. Not the bad bad ones anyway. He was kind of still upset about this morning, but like, whatever, it happened.

The rain had picked up now, pounding loudly against the roof. Bad night to try and get any kind of audience. Serves them right. _Fuck_ that guy. Taako didn't need them anyway, and now he got to sit in a warm dry room while they had to perform in the rain. Or maybe they just cancelled the show and didn't get paid. Either way, Taako was winning. He had a room and he had money and he had a shit ton of booze and they had like... cold shit and also wet shit.

They still had each other, though. God, what the fuck was wrong with Taako that he could never keep a person around? Sazed had stayed the longest, but look how that turned out. And everyone else didn't bother to entertain his presence any longer than they had to.

There was an answer to this, Taako supposed, though he didn't like thinking about it. He was a callous, cruel, and mistrustful person, who tended to view people as a means to an end rather than an actual being in their own right. It only made sense that people wouldn't want a heartless dickhead like that around. But the problem was, Taako didn't know how to _stop_ being like that. He couldn't separate himself from the part of his brain that saw everyone as a threat, even though he wasn't a kid anymore and could take care of himself.

He poured himself another drink.

It was when Taako had basically gotten to the point of being completely oblivious to his surroundings, that a woman came right up to him, slamming her hand down on the table, startling him into looking up.

"You're Taako, aren't you." She said, voice dangerously flat.

What? How did she know that?

Oh shit. Had he dropped the glamour? Fuck, he had. When did he do that? What did she want from him?

She could be a fan, right? Her expression wasn't showing anything though, and Taako didn't really think he had that many fans anymore, not after... what happened.

He should do... something. He needed to think of a thing to do. Getting this situation under control, right. That would be a good idea, before she did anything like-

"You're a murderer."

Like that.

She just kept talking, about how her sister was at that show, and she watched her die, and it was Taako's fault, and Taako knew that, did she think he didn't know that? Maybe she just didn't care. Fuck, she knew about everything, and Taako didn't know what to do.

He needed his brain to work better, but guess he fucked that one up too, and now people were staring and she was gonna tell them everything and they would all hate him and he was back there in his old stagecoach and people were dying all around him and it was _his fault_ and he needed to run, to get out of here, just get away, get away, _get away-_

More on instinct than thought, he cast Blink.

The moment he saw the ethereal plane fade into view, he started running. He was focused solely on getting away from the crowd. He didn't notice he'd pushed the limits of the spell and stayed in the ethereal plane much longer than six seconds. He didn't even realise the stone was in his hand until he was very far away.

When he blinked back into reality, several things hit him at once. First, it was raining. Hard. The shock of the cold sobered him up a little, but honestly, it didn't even matter anyway, not anymore. Also, that was definitely just the rain, he wasn't crying at all. Taako didn't do tears. Not even a little bit.

Second, he could never go back there again. He travelled light, and kept his bag on him, so he still had most of his stuff. But he didn't know where he was, it was dark, it was cold, he had nowhere to stay tonight, and the longer he stayed in the rain the more soaked through his clothes got.

None of the trees around provided any decent shelter, but Taako huddled against the trunk of one anyway. Some small amount of rain was better than a lot of rain. He knew better than to try and sleep here overnight, this kind of weather was second only to snow in how quickly it would kill you, but for now he didn't know where else to go.

Fuck, it was cold. He cast a small Fire Bolt, keeping it in his hands instead of attacking, trying to get some source of warmth. Evocation wasn't his strong suit, but he'd had to pick it up along the way, none of the transmutation spells he knew were any good for self defense. The good news was it was magic fire, so he didn't have to worry about it going out or burning his hands. The bad news was it was doing very little to keep the cold even slightly away from him. He'd settle for drying his clothes a bit, but it wasn't doing much of that either. Stupid lousy useless cantrip. It wasn't really meant for this. Or to be cast in the pouring rain, by useless wizards who couldn't stop shivering. Yeah, this was just about as bad as things could get.

_"That could have gone better."_

Nope, this was worse. There were many people Taako didn't feel like talking to right now - that list would include pretty much everyone on the planet, in fact. But the fucking magic rock wasn't any more tolerable right now, especially not when it started on that note.

Maybe if he ignored it it would just stop.

_"So, how's this all alone in the rain thing working out for you? Still don't need my help? Pretty arrogant for a self proclaimed useless wizard."_

Yeah okay fuck this, Taako wasn't listening to that bullshit a second longer than he had to.

"Shut the fuck up."

_"It just seems to me that maybe you were wrong about needing me. Unsurprising, living beings are so incredibly self absorbed, so I won't hold it against you. But it might be in your best interests to control your pride."_

"Do you really think you're helping me with this bullshit?"

_"I can if you let me."_

"You're a fucking rock, what are you gonna do about this."

The stone glowed slightly in his hand. All around the tree where Taako sat, the rain stopped falling. It was still raining, outside this bubble the stone had created, but here, within it, the weather itself had stopped. The noise of the rain outside was muffled, leaving Taako in an eerie quiet.

_"I'm not trying to spite you, I'm trying to help you. You're stuck out here and I don't think living beings were built for spending all night in this weather, do you?"_

The stone... wasn't wrong there. Taako needed some dry clothes and a place to sleep that wasn't wet grass beneath a dying tree. But using the stone would just be admitting it was right, that Taako was helpless, and Taako was so sick of relying on other people. He did everything he could to be self reliant, to make a name for himself, and he ended up exactly where he started.

_"It's not a crime to ask for help when you need it. And with my help, you could rule the world. Have all the riches you could ever want. You'd never have to rely on anyone again,"_ offered the stone, as if reading his mind. Could it do that? Whatever, Taako was beyond caring.

"What is even the point. None of this matters! I kept doing this shit as a kid because I thought I just had to get somewhere, to make something of myself, and then everything would be fine, and I wouldn't have to run or hide or be on my own anymore. But I did that, and look what happened! Is it just gonna be a cycle of this for the rest of my life? No one actually gives a fuck about me, all they cared about was the idea of me, my image and my cooking ability were all I was good for. And I've lost both of them."

_"So make them care. Your magic would be better than ever. No more mistakes. You'd have money, and influence, you could get your audience back, and so much more."_

Yeah, like that would ever happen. _Sizzle it Up!_ was over. Taako couldn't ever go back to that, everyone already hated him because of what he did.

_"Don't lie to yourself. You know how the world works, you know who comes out on top. With that kind of power, do you think anyone would care what you'd done?"_

Some people would. You couldn't get that kind of power without making enemies.

_"You already have enemies. Tonight proved that. All you'd be doing is ensuring they could never touch you again. Think about it, no more running, no more hiding, no more struggling to survive. You could have everything you ever dreamed of having. Where did you get on your own? Do you really have anything to lose?"_

He didn't. The stone had won the second Taako admitted he didn't know what he was doing with his life. Why was he even arguing this? The worst that could happen had already happened, and Taako wasn't recovering from it, just getting gradually worse.

And it was right. He had all the power right here, and he'd been too scared to go near it. Just like he'd run away from everything that had ever gone wrong in his life. And now he was faced with the choice between potentially freezing to death out here, or all the money and magic he could ever dream of? Why had he even thought that was a choice?

Taako's fingers closed around the stone.

And somewhere, on a road outside of Fairwyn, the rain stopped entirely, as an elf with faintly glowing eyes slowly walked back towards the city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and we are officially past the intro and into the actual story!
> 
> i have no idea how long this fic is gonna end up being by the end, probably at least 15 chapters just from what i've got planned in my head? but if you include chapters that have been written but not posted, this is already my longest fic yet, so, yeah, looking forward to seeing how this turns out


	5. Chapter Four

After eight years on this world, the experience of taking a mind was, well, a routine endeavour. Every attempt went the same way. A person found the stone, accepted the light into their very soul, and the light became their consciousness.

They would be driven forever by a single motivation, whatever had caused them to accept the stone in the first place. The stone would act on that motivation, and eventually, it would destroy them.

With Taako, things went slightly different. For starters, Taako was so not about this taking over minds thing. This was still his mind, thank you very much. The stone was just helping. Second, they were doing this Taako's way. Not the stone's way. Fuck that noise.

The stone had never experienced this symbiosis before. It operated under its own power, its own ideas, merely following the direction of its current owner. The stone _became_ the mind, the user the conduit.

But now it seemed their minds had been shared. The stone had a motivation to be used, and a drive to do so. Taako had a drive to do…something, and, well, he was getting to the ideas part.

Having access to unlimited power after a lifetime of poverty left you kind of overwhelmed, Taako was discovering. He had stuff he wanted to do, of course, but sorting out which to do _first_ was a pretty big task.

By the time they got back to the city, he’d decided on one thing - It didn’t matter if he could cast speed spells and short range teleportation spells, there was no fucking way he was _walking_ everywhere.

Which meant he needed transport. And there was no way he was catching a ride with anyone else, not when he had endless riches at his fingertips. He could buy himself whatever he needed. Which, right now, was a caravan, and something to pull it.

Taako had never bought a horse before. The only ones he’d ever owned were for _Sizzle It Up!_ , and he didn’t really remember where he got those. Maybe a gift? He probably would have remembered buying them, so they must have been.

It took a while to find a person who sold horses, and even longer for them to explain what exactly would suit Taako's needs best. Apparently there was a lot more to horses than Taako had ever needed to know before. He had taken care of them a couple of times when he was a kid - he tended to get stuck with a lot of those kinds of jobs, as the youngest, and also typically the only elf. Especially in human crews. He wasn't really sure how to explain that just because elven societies were nature focused, it didn't make all of them experts from birth. (Or, didn't know how to explain in a way that wouldn't get him immediately kicked out, anyway). But apparently being able to take care of a horse didn't translate to knowing what type of horse to buy, or how many you needed.

Most of the caravans he'd travelled with had been four horses per vehicle, which made sense considering the size and amount of weight they'd needed to pull. _Sizzle it Up!,_ being a smaller convoy, had only had two coaches with two horses each. There were vehicles that could be pulled by just one, but they tended to be pretty small, and wouldn't be able to travel fast.

And fast is what Taako was looking for. He settled on something similar to his last gig, but with no extra frills - just the one coach, two horses, room for him and his stuff, and no one else. Taako was going this solo, except this time he wasn't gonna spend all his time lamenting the fact that no one wanted him around. Taako had never realised it before, but he was _better_ alone, with no one to get in his way. All this time other people had been holding him back. Not anymore.

He got a few more supplies while in town, some food, extra blankets, and, fuck it, he’d get a couple more books too. Something else to read in his downtime besides spellbooks. He could afford it now, so why not?

Soon, though, he was ready to leave. This town was alright, he guessed, but Taako had been here two days now, he had better places to be, new opportunities to explore.

He pointed the horses in a direction he’d never been before, and started riding.

Travelling had always felt like home to Taako, but he’d never done it by himself before, or, not without a purpose anyway. It was incredibly freeing, just letting yourself go somewhere new, knowing you’d be fine, not having to worry about money or supplies or having to get along with other people. This was Taako’s world now, and fuck if he wasn’t gonna enjoy it.

* * *

It was late afternoon when the horses started getting tired. Taako wasn't a tyrant, he wasn't gonna keep pushing them past their limits for his own amusement, so he found a place to stop and let them rest.

Most of this road had been pretty deserted, past farmlands and through forest, but here the road diverged, one path continuing on, the other leading down to a lake. It was mostly surrounded by forest, but there was enough shoreline to set up camp, and it was a lot better than most of the places he’d camped as a kid. The horses had water, and room to sleep, and he could move them further into the trees if there was any danger.

He jumped down from the driver's seat, untethering the horses and transmuting some of the surrounding plants into food for them. Having to bring supplies meant nothing now, transmutation was as easy as breathing.

Of course, it had always been easy for Taako, he’d just been too afraid of his own power to use it. With the stone, though, it was impossible to fail. He had infinite spell slots, and every transmutation spell in the world at his fingertips. Transmutation was practically woven into his soul. Something as small as food barely even registered.

Taako could do much more impressive things with his magic.

Well, with _their_ magic. The stone wasn't about to just let him forget that they worked in tandem.

But it was fine, Taako was cool with being a team. It wasn't his usual deal, and he definitely wasn't about to go joining up with every half baked wizard in the city, but having a partner felt, _right_ , somehow. So he let it stand.

And it was fun, when it came down to it. Taako genuinely _enjoyed_ all the cool stuff he'd been able to do so far. And the stone, well, it was fulfilling its purpose. That was the most contentment it ever got in this bizarre existence.

So when the stone suggested that they test out some of what they could do now, how could Taako refuse? They had a whole book full of transmutation spells, after all, and so many of them had yet to be used.

And there was a whole lake to use it on. Water had a special bond with transmutation, it spent so much of its time as other forms that it understood change, was receptive to it. He didn’t even need a spellbook for this. Taako let his mind wander with his magic, pulling droplets of water out of the lake, changing them different colours, and sending them skimming over the surface. When he got bored with that, he waved a hand at them and they evaporated, sending lightly coloured clouds of vapor into the sky.

In the evening light, it was a really pretty sight, but it was _easy_ . There had to be something more he interesting he could do with this power. Learning transmutation magic was basically like being handed the keys to the fabric of the universe, and now Taako was better at it than anyone. At this point, he practically _owned_ the universe. Taako flipped through his book, looking for anything that would catch his eye, something he'd never attempted.

Oh _fuck yes_.

Pointing the stone at a nearby tree, he cast Disintegrate. The ensuing green beam surrounded the tree, and within seconds, it was reduced to ash. Holy _shit_. This was ridiculous. Why was this spell ever invented. Make no mistake, it was fucking awesome, but… he just fucking vaporised a tree. _What the fuck_.

Taako started laughing at that, and soon found he couldn't stop. It wasn't even that funny, but something about the situation he was in, the power he wielded now, was so absurd and amazing that he gave into it.

When it died down a little, he sat up, leaning on his hands in the grass and watching the sun slowly sink through the sky. This is where he was now. It was real. He had money, he had power, and he could do _anything_. He'd never need anyone again.

* * *

By the time the sun had set fully, it was starting to get cold out. The rain had let up since the previous night (not that it affected Taako now anyway), but he should still probably light a fire if he wanted to stay out here.

He set up a fire pit, and cast Fabricate on one of the trees, willing it to turn itself into firewood. Why bother with all the manual hassle when he had magic? Sure, it took a few minutes to cast, but fourth level spells were nothing to him now, he could do everything else in the meantime.

Grabbing some blankets out of the back of the caravan, he set them up around his soon-to-be fire. Once everything was in place, Taako lit it with a quick Fire Bolt. It wouldn't burn forever, but it would burn longer than normal fire, and he could always refresh it if needed.

He lay back on the blankets, playing with a small piece of leftover firewood, throwing it up into the air with a hand and then catching it, a mindless gesture really. His mind was elsewhere.

The last time he’d been out here on his own, he’d been just starting his show. It had been him and a small stagecoach and half a plan, and the worry that it wasn’t going to work out. His cooking was amazing, of course, but there was a lot more than talent that went into becoming famous. A lot of it was luck and privilege, and Taako had had neither.

He’d been overjoyed when he started to get attention. Despite all his posturing, he’d never really believed he’d actually get anywhere. Most people like him didn’t.

But then he had, and for a few years, it had been incredible. He had money and a friend and an audience, and he was doing what he loved, it was everything he’d ever dreamed of. And then, well, he had to go back to this.

Could he try again? He’d thought it impossible before, but he clearly wasn’t thinking far enough then. It wasn’t like he was gonna make another mistake, he had the stone now, he was never gonna make a mistake again. And with all the new spells in his repertoire, he could make the performance more impressive than ever.

There was his reputation to consider, but, well, get enough power, enough influence? People would let you do anything. He could build it back up, get in enough people’s good books that they’d all eventually forget about what had happened.

His only real hesitation was, was that still what he wanted? With everything he could do now, he could rule the world if he chose to, and he was setting his sights on a small one person cooking show?

Sure, he liked the attention, and he enjoyed cooking for people, but there had to be something bigger he could be aiming for. A way to make people forget _Sizzle It Up!_ ever existed, too focused on whatever Taako would do next. And they would be focused on him. He was the best chef in the world, and now the best transmutation wizard too. They would be lucky to be near him.

He grinned, thinking of it. Yeah, he’d made it. There had been mistakes along the way, and he’d spent a long time there not thinking things through. But that time was behind him. He could have anything he wanted now.

He had to stop thinking so far ahead. He didn’t need to plan everything down to the minutia anymore. That was for people with limited resources, people who could make mistakes. Taako had the stone now, he wasn’t ever gonna lose it, which meant all he had to think about was what he wanted right then and there, and then go get it.

Easiest thing in the world.

* * *

By the time they reached the next big city, Taako knew he was gonna settle for nothing less than the best. Good rooms, a place to keep his horses, and eating at restaurants owned by the best chefs in the city.

Even if Taako could cook better than any of them, he loved trying food by other good chefs. Not that he'd done that very often, he was usually too poor to afford it. But not everything he'd ever cooked was self taught, there were the rare opportunities when he'd meet someone who shared the same passion for food, and it was almost always an amazing experience. Cooking was an art form, and every professional chef had their own style. Sure, sometimes Taako disagreed with how they did things, and sure, no one could make food better than Taako did, but there was always something to be learned from them anyway.

This particular restaurant, for example. They were fairly close to the coast, so most of their recipes were seafood based, which maybe made the menu a bit less diverse than it could have been. But they knew how to balance their flavours, and Taako was taking notes on some of the more interesting spices. All in all, he'd call it not bad, which was a high compliment coming from him.

He was so focused on evaluating their food, he almost didn't notice when a group of people at the next table mentioned Glamour Springs.

Taako froze.

He knew he should leave. He should leave now before they realised it was him and something bad happened.

This always happened and it was never good and he should leave.

But something stopped him from running.

Something made him stay to listen to the conversation.

Most of it was gossipy bullshit, but there was one thing he could make out loud and clear - new evidence in the Glamour Springs case suggested that the victims were poisoned with arsenic and not nightshade, and the militia was taking it as proof that Taako poisoned them deliberately.

Why the fuck would they think Taako poisoned anyone deliberately? He mistransmuted some elderberries, it was an accident, people made them sometimes- Wait.

Wait no that didn’t make sense, that-

They said _arsenic_. Taako hadn't used arsenic. He'd thought it was nightshade, that was the only mistake he could have made. The people at the other table were right, arsenic had to be deliberate.

So if Taako hadn’t made a mistake, then it hadn’t been Taako at all.

There was only one other person it could have been.

And _shit,_ how had Taako not noticed, Sazed had been being moody and reserved all week because they’d been fighting over control of the show and…

Had… had Sazed been trying to kill _him_?

If Taako had tasted the chicken like normal, he would have been poisoned, they would have noticed long before anyone else tried it. And then he would have died and Sazed could pretend it was all a mistake and take over the show himself, reputation in the clear.

A part of Taako thought maybe he should have felt scared or hurt over this, but no, all he felt was _angry._

_How dare Sazed try to take everything from him! And then have the nerve to blame Taako for it?_

This was all Sazed’s fault, all of it. Everything that ever went wrong had been because of him.

Well. That made things simple then, didn’t it. Taako had a plan, and the stone knew how to follow it through.

They got up from the table, heading for the exit. As they left, a waiter chased after them, shouting something about not paying for their meal. Neither Taako nor the stone could find the capacity to care about such a minor issue, not now. Still, the man was in their way now, and they couldn’t have that.

Taako flicked his hand at the man, and in an instant he was turned entirely to crystal. There. Problem solved.

They left the restaurant to the sound of screaming from frightened patrons. Taako didn’t even notice. There was only one thing to do, now.

They were going to find Sazed.

* * *

They tracked Sazed down within three days. He was working with some new show now, it hadn't taken long to find a flyer with his name on it and trace the show to its current location.

Sazed couldn't settle down any more than Taako could. That was something they'd talked about a lot, early on. Both were travellers, it was in their blood, the idea of staying in any one place was foreign, terrifying. It was one of the few good things they had in common, and for some reason, it had made Taako want to trust him more. He realised now that that had been a mistake, just because someone had had a similar childhood didn't make them friendly, but both Taako and the stone could agree that the Taako of the past had been hopelessly naïve. No wonder he didn't see Sazed's betrayal coming.

Well, he thought, as he slowly creeped up on where Sazed was cleaning up for the evening, back to Taako and moonlight casting an eerie aura over everything, Sazed wouldn't anticipate this one either.

"Hi, Sazed," he said, voice dangerously soft. "Business going well?"

Sazed froze, not turning around.

"Taako." His speech was clipped, nervous. So he still recognised Taako's voice. Good.

"The one and only. Just thought I'd check up on you, since you ruined my life, you know, the usual."

"Taako, I don't know what you're-" he started, but stopped as he turned to face Taako and he seemed surprised at something. And, maybe, horrified?

"What the fuck happened to your eyes?" Sazed asked nervously, after a pause.

_Eyes, what? What was he talking about-_ Just like him to try and change the topic. Make up stories. He wouldn't get out of this that easily.

Taako smirked, keeping his voice casual, despite the anger boiling within him at the sight of Sazed.

“No, don’t change the subject, my dude. You were saying something about how you have no idea what I’m talking about and I’m making the whole thing up?”

“Well, I wasn’t gonna say _that_ , just, you know, this might not be as serious as you’ve got it in your head and all-” Sazed was slowly backing off as he rambled, scanning around like he was trying to find a weapon.

Hah. Good luck. You’d have to do better than that to get the jump on Taako. He smiled grimly, and cast Slow, pushing it past its limits with the stone, until Sazed could barely move.

“What the fuck?” Sazed yelled at him. “You can’t cast this, we both know your magic was fake as shit, what the hell have you done!”

Taako took another step towards him.

“Do we? Do we both know that, Sazed? Because it seems to me like you don’t know jack shit about Taako, not since you _abandoned_ me.”

“Is that what this is about? Yeah, okay, _you got me_ , I left. Because you fucked up our show, and I didn’t want to be associated with a murderer. Sorry for acting like a reasonable person!”

“ _Our_ show? Now what makes you think it was ever _our show?_ It was my show, my talent, my hard work. But you just couldn’t handle the fact that I was better, could you? So instead you decided to tear it all down. Were you trying to kill them, Sazed? All forty people that you poisoned? Or did you just want to get me? Well, either way, you failed. I know everything. And you’re the real murderer here.”

“You’re crazy.”

“Cut the bullshit. Admit you killed them.”

Sazed said nothing. So that was how he wanted to play it? Fine. He hadn’t yet seen the worst that Taako could do.

Transmutation was one of the most versatile magic disciplines. It was, by nature, about change and fluidity. And if you knew how it worked, with enough power to back up your knowledge, you could manipulate the very bonds holding the universe together.

For example: If a thing moves slow enough, it starts to lose heat. Push a little magic into that reaction, and you could freeze anything in an instant. Water, for example. Or a person.

If course, he could just as easily freeze something slowly. Lower the temperature of the surroundings, measure by measure. It would just start off uncomfortable, but the cold didn’t kill you nicely, and make no mistake, this was gonna _hurt._

“You ready to admit it yet?” Taako asked Sazed, voice low and venomous.

He got no response, just a glare. Taako kept dropping the temperature, knowing Sazed could feel it by now, but still nothing, just the two of them, gazes locked, waiting to see who would break first.

“Fuckin’ quit it already, what the fuck is wrong with you!” Sazed finally shouted.

“I’m not gonna stop until you tell the truth. I know what you did, just admit it!” Taako yelled at him. Why wouldn't he just _admit to it_ , the coward! Taako pushed the spell further, frost starting to climb over Sazed’s fingers. Taako was gonna get that confession out of him one way or another. It was Sazed’s choice if he did it with all his limbs intact.

“Okay fine, I did it, I poisoned them!” Sazed yelled back. Taako broke the spell, stepping backwards in relief, breathing heavily. Confirmation. He could feel a part of his mind retreating inwards to process, ready to let this situation go, but it was drowned out by an overwhelming anger filling his veins.

And Sazed didn't stop.

“It was your fault! I only meant to kill you, if you hadn’t messed things up then no one else would have been poisoned! Hell, if you hadn’t been so selfish in the first place, things could have worked out fine! But no, you had to have your perfect show, your own stupid spotlight with no room for anyone else, and because of you, forty people _died!_ "

Maybe once, that would have worked. Maybe once he would have believed Sazed that it was all his fault. But not this Taako. This was Taako at his best, his most powerful, and it would take a lot more than a little manipulation to change that.

For nearly a year, Sazed had been living fine, content in the knowledge that Taako would be blamed for all his crimes. That time was over.

There were thousands of ways you could kill a person with transmutation. The stone had tested this itself over the past decade, haphazardly thrown from one meaningless revenge quest to another.

But for Taako, this was personal. Just killing him wasn't enough. He deserved to die forty times over for what he did.

Taako's fingers closed tighter over the stone, as he thought about everything Sazed had done, every way that Taako wanted to get revenge.

“Because of me, huh?” he mused, turning away from Sazed slightly. “Pretty cowardly weapon, poison. But I guess that is how everyone sees me, isn’t it. Taako just runs away from everything, he’s not really a confrontation kinda guy. Is that what you think, Sazed? That you could get away with this because you thought I’d be too _scared_ to figure it out?”

“What do you want me to say.”

Taako knelt down next to Sazed, looking him in the eye.

“I don’t. Nothing you could have said today would have stopped me from doing this, know that.”

He stood back up to his full height, putting more distance between them.

“If you ever meet one of those poor fucks you poisoned in the astral plane? You can tell them this was your fault. At least there’ll be one consolation - you’ll know how it feels.”

Taako closed his eyes, reaching out with his magic. His awareness settled into every molecule of the space in front of him, and slowly he focused, narrowing it down to just Sazed’s bloodstream. And then it started to change. Blood became poison, the nightshade Sazed had blamed him for, the nightshade that had never existed, spreading all throughout.

Sazed didn’t say anything more after that.

Taako stood for a moment, eyes still closed, letting the weight of the past few days wash over him.

He won. He was free of everyone who had ever done him wrong. The world was _his_ , and no one was going to ever forget it.

Taako turned, and made his way back to his caravan. He had work to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohh boy, this chapter took me like two and a half weeks (chewing up most of my chapter backlog), and fought me every step of the way, i am so glad its done
> 
> still, i hope it turned out how i wanted it to?
> 
> also thanks to K1Krystal and DarkrystalSky for being good friends and horrible enablers (a man is dead. look what you've done.) and for putting up with my bullshit so i can actually keep writing this for you guys XD
> 
> (and additional thanks to K1Krystal for sciencing the shit out of my fic and pointing out that nightshade was a better poison to use than arsenic, which in this context could very well have set sazed on fire? and, while that would be funny, probably didn't fit the tone)
> 
> this is probably gonna be the last taako pov chapter for a while, he'll still show up, but i have other characters to introduce and some pieces to put into place that i'm very excited for, so yeah, i'll see you all next week with some lucretia :D


	6. Chapter Five

Honestly? Lucretia hadn't been doing great for the past, oh, who knows, maybe about _100 years?_ But the past 6 or 7 had been a particular kind of hell.

She missed her friends. She wished she could undo the destruction they'd caused to this world. And, most of all, she hoped she could find the relics quickly, before they caused any more harm. But so far, she'd only succeeded in recovering her own. And for the most part, she didn't even know where the relics were.

They shouldn't be hard to find, given the destruction they left in their wake, but they changed hands so quickly it was hard to pin them down before it was too late, and by then they'd found themselves another target.

At least with Fisher's help they weren't causing entire wars anymore. But it was still enough damage to make her feel sick every time she heard of another town that was dead thanks to their creations.

And there was no avoiding the news, because she needed to know it, because she was the only one who could find and safely dispose of the relics. Hers was a lonely, gruelling task, but it had to be done.

"Lucretia!" A familiar voice called up the stairs. At least she wasn’t entirely alone. After she lost her friends, she’d found herself drawn to the scientists on this world that had been studying the planar system. They were no IPRE, but it was familiar territory, and she needed all of that she could get. Her search had led her to the Miller family, Maureen and her son Lucas.

It was at a scientific convention that she actually met them, and they talked for hours about planar science and its possibilities. Lucretia may not have been a scientist on their homeworld, but she had enough first hand experience to understand far more than the average person about the planes, and definitely more than enough to hold her own in any conversation about it.

She’d got along well with both of them, and Maureen had invited her to join them at their labs to discuss it more in depth. They’d become friends, and, after her catastrophic failure in Wonderland, Lucretia had opened up to them about her quest, asking for help. She’d inoculated them, told them of how she’d travelled the planes, showed them the Starblaster. Their research had been vastly improved by the insight and technology Lucretia could offer, and in return, they’d offered her a place to live, and a chance at making a new family.

And they were, as much as anyone on this plane could be. Maureen was a deeply kindhearted person, interested in life, and the universe, and took a very nurturing approach to science. Lucretia couldn’t have asked for a better friend. Lucas was more like a younger brother, only a teenager when she’d first met him. He was a lot more reserved than his mother, and had a tendency to get caught up in his projects, but she loved him all the same. He’d recently started specialising in robotics, and she’d showed him the robot crystal, telling him the story of the plane where they got it, and working together to try and utilise the technology towards some new advances.

He was also the one currently standing outside her door, holding an envelope. She raised her eyebrows at it. Lucas didn’t normally bother coming up to her rooms for something as small as mail - they all lived in the same building, yes, but it was a large one. As pioneers of most of this world's invention, they were a fairly rich family, and this place had the most stories of any building she’d ever seen (there was an idea in development about floating buildings that could sustain themselves indefinitely, but right now it wasn’t ready enough to be practical). The lower floors were mostly made of labs and conference rooms (which was where Lucas spent the majority of his time), it was at least four floors before you got to any living spaces.

“I would have expected Maureen to be the one to deliver this.”

“Oh, uh, Mom’s busy, she’s got a science conference next week she really wants to prepare for, but anyway, I was checking the mail and you got this from one of your friends out east, it looked important?” He handed it to her. “But yeah I got work to do so I’m gonna head, back, downstairs, now?” He said, already backing out of the room. As he left he pulled some half built device out of his pocket and started fiddling with it, already caught up in whatever it was he’d been working on lately.

Lucretia closed the door behind him, and checked the envelope over. It was addressed to her from Alina, a mercenary she’d met a few years back when trying to retrieve one of the relics. Their attempt had failed, but she became a good friend, and a helpful informant for activity along the east coast of Faerun. Inside was a single page letter, and a stone of farspeech.

She opened the letter. The handwriting was messy, as if it had been written in a hurry.

_"Lucretia,_

_My apologies for writing to you, I know time is of the essence here, but my stone of farspeech was destroyed and my new one is unattuned to your own. I’ve included a replacement if you need to contact me quickly, but for now I send this with a trusted courier and hope it reaches you soon._

_I may have located a relic. I didn't get close enough to see (and thank the gods I didn't, for I fear no one else holds your immunity to their thrall), but as I passed through Blackview this morning, I discovered that two murders had taken place. The first was in broad daylight, a man turned within seconds to crystal. Eyewitnesses described the perpetrator as an elf with glowing eyes. The second had no witnesses, and took place many miles from the first, not to mention several days after, but I have reason to believe they are connected. The body showed no outward signs of harm, but when closer examined, revealed the victim's blood was entirely poison. Not poisoned, no, but their bloodstream itself had been transmuted, down to the last drop._

_Both of these sound like consequences of the transmutation relic you described. If you receive this as quickly as I have been promised, the perpetrator should still be within the area. It’s not concrete whereabouts, but it's a start._

_I hope you find what you're looking for,_

_Alina"_   
  
Lucretia checked the date on the envelope. Just yesterday. Blackview was a few days ride away, but she had faster ways to travel, and this was an emergency. If she could locate the Philosopher's Stone, she'd be one step further towards uniting the relics, getting her friends back, and stopping the hunger for good.

She had to leave now. There wasn’t time to waste.

She quickly packed her stuff, taking only the essentials she could justify - her staff, her stone of farspeech, money, a small amount of clothes and food, emergency medical supplies. She hoped that last one wouldn’t be necessary, but she knew better than to chance it. Anyone under the thrall of a relic would be incredibly powerful, which made it difficult to recover them on her own, even with the help of the Bulwark Staff. Most times she located one, she failed.

...There was also the matter of Davenport. She hated leaving him behind, even with people she trusted, but bringing him along would put him in unnecessary danger. He might once have been able to handle it, better even than she could, but these days he just wasn’t the same person, and that was Lucretia’s fault. She had to make sure he was safe, and if that meant leaving him alone for a few days, then that was the best she could do. She left a note with Lucas for Maureen anyway, to let her know that someone should keep an eye on her former captain.

It might be a good idea to bring someone along, though. Not anyone here, they weren’t combat trained and she didn’t think she could handle losing her family a second time. But there were people she knew in this plane, people who _could_ help.

She dug out her stone of farspeech, and found the frequency she was looking for.

“Killian?”

The orc’s voice answered almost immediately.

“I’m here, what’s up?”

“Meet me near Blackview. I’m gonna need your help.”

* * *

Killian was waiting for her when she reached the town, near the restaurant where the first murder had taken place. They were closed until further notice, since it was now an active crime scene, but even with militia swarming the place, no one had moved the crystalline statue of the former waiter. Judging from the way crystals had slowly started to seep into the floor around him, Lucretia guessed they were all too scared to touch him.

If whoever was using the stone had moved on by now, it was probably safe, a relic's power didn't tend to last over that distance unless its user wanted it to. Lucretia wasn't about to tell any militia that though, on the off chance there was a real danger.

Seeing it up close though was pretty much confirming her suspicions. Transmutation this detailed, a perpetrator with glowing eyes? Either this was the Philosopher’s Stone or whoever did this had powers Lucretia didn’t want to think about. It was a good thing, in a way, this is what she had wanted, and finding the stone gave her a chance to get rid of it for good. But at the same time, two people had died just to get Lucretia here, and who knew how many more it would be before the end. At least whoever did this wasn’t straight up obliterating towns like most of the people who ended up thralled. But that just made them unpredictable.

And whoever they were? They weren’t here anymore.

Lucretia’s first stop was to ask around with the locals - they, after all, would know what was going on best with their town.

“Have there been any other incidents like this recently?”

“Well, I haven’t heard of anybody getting turned to stone, but uh, there have been a few weird things around? Word further south is another poor sap got murdered with magic, and we’ve not got any deliveries from down that way in a week, something keeps messin’ with the farms, all the crops are damn near ruined. But not just destroyed either, this is more than just some wildfire, some things are growin’ that shouldn’t be, all the way from meats to jewels.”

Lucretia thanked them for the information, and motioned to Killian to move on from here. The murder, that matched up with what she already knew. But the farm thing, that was new. There wasn’t any reason Lucretia could think of why someone using the stone would care about anything like that. Jewels made sense if they were taking them for themselves, but as far as she could tell, they weren’t, just randomly transmuting things because they could.

The trail continued to lead her south, through village after village, always something strange but never consistent, sometimes they would fix up a park, other times they’d completely destroy a building, often it led to more dead villagers, in increasingly creative ways. It was like whoever was doing this was at war between wanting the world prettier and wanting to burn it down, and in their indecision, went with both.

Killian came with her, keeping them on guard for potential attacks. But as they wandered past another orchard with all its trees sporting bejewelled replicas of fruit, Lucretia just got even more confused as to what it was this person wanted.

The last town they came to, as far as she could tell, hadn’t changed. Asking around yielded nothing Lucretia hadn’t already heard. She started to worry that they’d lost the trail completely.

And that was when she saw him. An elf, like the reports had said, sitting on a bench, just _twirling the stone casually in his hand_ . But then he turned, and she saw his face, and no, that didn’t make sense, how could he be here, what was he _doing_ , did he _remember?_ And if not, why did he have his relic? Of all the people she could have expected to see here, the absolute last on her list would be-

“Taako?!”

His head immediately moved a fraction, catching himself before staring at her, but clearly listening, and she realised her mistake.

"Killian, get out of here." she whispered quickly to her companion, trying not to get noticed.

"What? You literally brought me here as backup, in case things get dangerous, and now things are dangerous and you want me gone?"

She didn’t have time for this he knew she was here if she didn’t come up with a cover fast this could all go horribly wrong.

"No, listen, I know him. I've got a plan, but the weapon'll just spook him, I'm trying this without it first, now get out of here."

Killian seemed hesitant, but then backed down, heading away from the main square and towards the cover of some nearby trees. Lucretia would be willing to bet she wasn't actually gone, and instead had gone to find a better vantage point, but as long as Lucretia played this right, there'd be no need for violence. Not yet, anyway. Not for as long as Lucretia could manage.

“Yo, are you gonna do something or are you just gonna stand there ‘cause I gotta say I do not like the way you’re looking at me right now kemosabe,” came the very familiar voice from in front of her.

Fuck. Okay. Guess she was doing this now.

"Yes, excuse me! Are you Taako? _The_ Taako?" She rushed over to where he was sitting, putting on her best excited voice and hoping it would be enough.

He still seemed suspicious, looking at her with narrowed eyes, but then he seemed to relax somewhat, at least enough to give her his usual lazy grin.

"Who wants to know?"

His tone was coy, but Lucretia knew him well enough to tell it was just a cover while he tried to get more information out if her. Well, if that was what he wanted, she could play along. If he was actually thralled by that thing somehow, she didn’t want this going south.

"My name's Lucretia, I'm a reporter for a local paper, we've heard so much about your show! A tragedy the way it ended, but I'm sure we'd all like to know what the amazing wizard is up to these days! Do you think you could spare some time to answer a few questions?"

The journalist role came easy to her - she was a writer after all, and she'd been on the receiving end of enough interviews to know how they went. When she first joined the IPRE she might have been too nervous to attempt something like this but, well, she was far older than she looked, and it took a lot more than that to scare her now.

Taako tilted his head, considering. For a moment, she genuinely couldn’t tell what he was about to say. But then-

“Yeah sure, sounds fun, why not?” He said, far too quickly. But he had okayed it, so Lucretia might as well get as much information as possible.

“So, what are you up to these days?”

“Oh, nothing much, just finding myself, you feel? Working some more on my magic, this and that, you know how it goes.”

So he didn’t have a plan, at least not one he was willing to share with her in any capacity. That was probably a good thing, genuinely thralled people would do just about anything to achieve their goals, they didn’t care about subtlety. But he was clearly using the stone, if his commitment to ambiguity was anything to go by.

“And what magic would that be, anything you can tell us?” _How much has it given you, and how much has it taken?_

“Oh come on now. A magician doesn’t reveal his secrets and all that? If I feel like showing people, you’ll find out.”

Well. Okay. That wasn’t concerning.

She switched tracks.

“Have you been in this town long?”

“Nah, just passing through, homie. Never really been one for stickin’ around, ya dig?”

Well, that was nothing new. She couldn’t tell if it was promising or not. She needed concrete info, questions Taako couldn’t just dance around.

Fuck it, she was just gonna get to the point.

“So, did you hear about the murders that took place near here? Kind of shocking how they happened, no one can figure out what caused them.”

“Yeah, yeah, real tragic, but listen, Taako’s getting kinda bored with this, so I’m gonna head off now, nice meeting you,” he said, with the air of someone used to meeting people he didn’t care about.

He got up to leave, but no, he couldn’t leave yet, she needed to know more, how this happened, how she could fix it!

“Wait!” She found herself shouting after him.

He turned back to her, a new look in his eyes now, not something she recognised, and it scared her. Also, it was hard to tell in the daylight, but had they changed? She hadn’t noticed before, too distracted by the fact that he was here at all, but there was a faint outline to them that was brighter than they should be, something that might, under cover of evening or night, be called glowing, like the gold of his eyes had turned to actual gold, the whites just a bit too white.

“Listen.” All the playfulness in his voice was gone. “You seem like a smart girl. So I’m just gonna say this and hope you’re picking up what I’m putting down. Take a good look at the scene, at everything you’ve undoubtedly figured out about this little situation we got here. And then think real hard about whether or not you wanna try and stop me.”

He paused. Lucretia didn’t move.

“No? Didn’t think so.”

And when he turned to leave, Lucretia didn’t stop him.

Killian made her way over to her.

“You sure you don’t want me to shoot him?” she asked, hefting her crossbow.

“Please do not shoot him.” Lucretia responded wearily. “We don’t know if it would even do anything, and besides, I’d rather keep casualties to a minimum. It’s not his fault he stumbled across the stone.”

It really wasn’t. Taako should never have been in that position. She still didn’t know how it even _happened_ , of all the people that should have been immune to its thrall, its creator was the top of the list.

There had to be some amount of Taako left in there, right? This was his relic, it couldn't have taken over his mind completely. She'd just have to hope that whatever was left of her friend, it was enough.

Was this her fault? Did taking away their memories of building the relics also eradicate their immunity? It didn’t fit with what she’d seen before, because Davenport lived with the Bulwark Staff, same as she did, and it hadn’t affected either of them. But she supposed there wasn’t any real way to prove how it all worked, every possible situation was, by nature, unique.

Though, she supposed, even if not for the reasons she thought, this was still her fault. Whoever Taako was now, whoever he’d been since he lost his memories, she barely recognised him.

He was different without Lup, without his friends. There were still elements of the elf she knew present, his caution, his love of entertaining, his sense of humor, his ability to roll with the punches and adapt to any situation.

But he was colder, less forgiving, more scared, took things harder (even if he admitted to doing so even less). And apparently, he’d gotten so much worse since Lucretia last saw him.

It had been… too long since she last checked on any of her friends. At first, she’d made an effort to visit them constantly, if disguised so as not to risk them recognising her. She’d thought they were getting along well, that the new lives she’d given them were good, the best they could be under the circumstances. Sure, Lup was missing, she was forced to keep Barry at a distance, and Davenport was, well, Davenport, but Taako had his fame and fortune, Magnus had a good job and a family, and Merle at least had a relaxing life in a place that he loved.

But then came the news of Glamour Springs, of forty people poisoned at Taako’s show. Lucretia still couldn’t explain what had happened, Taako would never deliberately kill anyone who looked up to him like that, but at the same time, he was too good a wizard to have made such a mistake. It’s possible the loss of his memories reduced him down to a level where he could, but Lucretia hoped not. It would just be one more thing she was responsible for.

She had feared he was dead when she first got the news. There had been no mention of what happened to the chef, just that none of the attendees had survived. But when she arrived on the scene, she saw no sign of him, his stagecoach also missing, and realised he probably fled the city. Her suspicions only grew stronger when she realised just how badly the people of Glamour Springs hated him for what he did.

Her attempts at tracking him down after that had taken a while, but eventually proved fruitful. She’d found him in some shitty rundown tavern, trying to drown himself in alcohol. Which had basically thrown all her plans for staying distant out the window. It helped that he wouldn’t remember it. But she’d stayed and talked to him, helped him however she could. She hadn’t left until she was sure he wasn’t gonna end up killing himself, accidentally or otherwise. But she had left.

At the time, she thought she’d had no choice _but_ to leave him to his own devices, there was too much of a risk he’d find out who she was. And in the months since, she’d thrown herself into her quest, forgetting (or fearing) to check up on the rest of her friends, wanting nothing more than for it to just be over as quickly as possible. But now she wondered if she hadn’t made a huge mistake.

She had to make sure everyone else was okay.

“Killian?”

“Yeah, boss?”

“We’re leaving.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, we're now at like, 18k, which is over double my previous word record bc im bad at writing long things, so like, holy shit? i cannot believe i got this far, i really hope i finish this bc i have some cool (angsty) shit planned for the finale. and maybe like, a vague idea for a sequel.
> 
> that said, my life has been super hectic lately and i am out of finished chapters so i think im probably gonna take a break next week to get back on track? i'll try and post something anyway 'cause i got a few finished one shots lying around but it won't be for this fic
> 
> but yeah, hope you like this one, next chapter will also be lucretia, and we'll see how we go :D


	7. Chapter Six

Merle, she found, was doing alright still. Not _great_ , his family had their troubles, but he was alive, and mostly content, and he’d probably be fine.

But when she travelled to Raven’s Roost, she encountered rather a large obstacle to finding Magnus - Raven’s Roost was _gone_.

Whatever happened here had left the town decimated, a far cry from the beautiful town she'd left her friend in. It was a shocking sight to see. The support pillars for the Craftsman's Corridor had been destroyed, collapsing that part of the town into the chasm below, leaving nothing but rubble and broken bridges in its wake.

Some of the town was still intact, but it seemed abandoned, the inhabitants either too scared or too full of grief to remain. Whatever Raven's Roost once was, it would never come back - even if it could be rebuilt, the heart of it was gone.

Was… was Magnus gone? Had he escaped, or died with the city? And what of the family she knew he’d had here? What fate had become of them?

She knew she needed to move on, to find out, to get any kind of answers, but she couldn’t. She just stopped, staring at the rubble of the place she’d left her best friend. How had everything fallen apart so quickly? Didn’t at least one of them deserve a happy ending? If any of them did, it would be Magnus.

If Magnus had survived, she needed to see him. If he was dead.... fuck, she didn't even want to _think_ about him being dead. He couldn't be, not now, not after everything. He had to be alive.

She prayed he was alive.

A long time passed, just her and the ruined city. Hours, most likely, sitting on the edge of the cliff, processing everything that happened. Hoping her friend was okay.

Maybe she would draw it, how it used to be, Raven's Roost in all its glory. Magnus would like that, she thought. Even if she could never give it to him, she would immortalise it on paper, it deserved at least that.

Lucretia took a deep breath, and got to her feet. Time to go.

She made her way back down the road towards the nearest town. Even if the people there weren’t from Raven’s Roost, news of something like this would travel, they’d know what happened. They might not know what happened to Magnus, but they have some knowledge on what happened to the survivors, and that was a start.

Her first stop was the local militia, but they didn’t seem to know much, just that the town had been destroyed and the survivors relocated. She thanked them, but this wasn’t the information she needed. For that, she needed to talk to someone who actually knew the people around here.

The busiest tavern seemed like the best place to stop next, innkeepers in small towns tended to know all the comings and goings of the townsfolk.

It seemed like a nice place when she entered, striding up to the bar with purpose, enough to make the innkeeper look up at her with surprise. Maybe she should have looked less on a mission. But the atmosphere at this time of day was friendly, and she was in a hurry after all.

“Sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you knew any of the survivors of Raven’s Roost, maybe a man named Magnus Burnsides?”

The innkeeper paused a moment, perhaps evaluating her, but seemed to come to the conclusion she wasn’t looking for trouble.

“Yeah, I know of him. He’s the one who saved that town, before that worm of a governor blew it to pieces. Should never have happened, none of those poor souls deserved that. But if it’s Burnsides you’re looking for, last I heard he’d taken up mercenary work, muscle for hire, that sorta thing. Comes by here sometimes, sure you’ll find him if you talk to the right people.”

Magnus was alive. Thank the gods. And apparently he had saved Raven’s Roost in the past? She smiled. Even without his memories, he was still the protector, still so willing to put himself on the line for other people. She missed him so much.

And if he frequented this place, well, that was a place to start.

She booked herself a room for the next few days without thinking it over too much. She’d ask around as well, but she could afford it easily, and she wasn’t leaving here until she found him.

* * *

It was two days later that Magnus stumbled into that very bar and ordered a drink. He looked a little beat up, but that was nothing out of the ordinary for him. What was, was the rest of it.

She didn’t approach him. Not that night. She just sat and watched, as he drunk way too much, got far too loud, eventually picked a fight with someone equally burly, who also looked like he was just there to cause trouble. It was so like that night before they left, and yet so different. Magnus still got into a fight, Lucretia was still there to sit and watch, but there was no Merle, no twins, no Barry, no Davenport to glare disapprovingly at all of them and pretend like he wasn’t making bets on how the fight would end up. And the energy was different too, back then it had all been rowdy fun, Magnus fighting for the sake of proving he was the best. Now it felt like he was doing it just for the sake of something to do.

She had really fucked this one up, hadn’t she. She’d tried to make everyone happy, but instead they’d all ended up alone and miserable, or worse. Even Magnus, who they could always rely on to be the optimist, was more broken than she’d ever seen him.

He needed his family back.

When Lucretia next saw Magnus, she had made a decision.

Or, she thought she had. She’d prepared for the eventuality. But _fuck_ she was scared, she was so scared of all of this. Why did she think this plan was a good idea? It was so much easier to just sit back and do nothing, let events take their place around her, for better or for worse. But that wasn't who Lucretia was anymore. That couldn't be who Lucretia was anymore. Standing aside, not getting involved, doing this on her own, she'd thought that was for the best. But now she saw the truth, how _broken_ her family was, and knew she couldn't be a bystander. Not this time.

She looked down at her purse, to the small flask of voidfish ichor she’d brought with her. This time, she would fix it.

Taking a deep breath, she approached the table where Magnus was sitting.

“Hey. You’re Magnus Burnsides, right? I heard about what happened, I’m so sorry.”

He glanced at her.

“Don’t wanna talk about that right now.”

“That’s completely understandable. Do you mind if I sit with you anyway? I don’t know anyone else here and, well, I’d rather not be alone tonight.”

He motioned at her to sit, taking another gulp from his cup. She should probably do this before he got too drunk. She had no idea how that would affect his ability to process memories. She barely knew anything about it as it was.

But it wasn’t as simple as just spiking his drink, if she could even manage that without him noticing. On some level, he had to trust her first, or this could all go completely sideways.

He had trusted her once. It was there, deep down. She could find it again. And besides, it was nice to just talk to Magnus again.

“So, what are you doing these days?”

“Who wants to know?”

“Oh, I mean, me, I guess? I’m not sure I just sort of thought… _conversation_ …” She said, dragging out the last word like it would help her find the actual words normal people would use in this situation. It didn’t.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything, if you wanna talk we can do that?” Magnus started backtracking. “I just wasn’t sure why you’d wanna talk to me, like, is everything okay?”

“If I’m being honest, not really.” She admitted.

Magnus looked at her for a moment, then hesitantly asked-

“You wanna talk about it?”

Did she? Good question. This wasn’t where she’d been expecting this to go. But it was as good a way as any to get him to trust her, and well, she’d missed being able to talk to him.

“I uh… I recently discovered I’d lost someone in my family too. And I can’t help but feel like it’s my fault, I’d been pushing everyone away for so long, that I wasn’t there. And I thought, well, my family was friends with yours, it might be nice to reconnect.” She was only half lying. It helped to talk about it, even if she couldn’t share any of the context.

“I mean, I’m not sure about reconnecting, I don’t really remember that much about my parents or my first family? But yeah, that’s rough, and if you need a friend, you know, I’m here.”

“Yeah. Thanks, Magnus.” She said, and she meant it. Magnus had a way of making everything better. Trying to do this all on her own had been the worst six years of her life. That was something she’d learned in Wonderland, really, but it had only been hammered in over the past few years, and now it was staring her in the face. She couldn't do this alone. She _wouldn’t_ do this alone.

Lucretia offered to go get the next round of drinks. Magnus accepted, and she walked over the bar to order.

She had been so sure about this until she was faced with the drinks themselves. Until she had to actually do it. This was her moment. Now or never. Her hand shook slightly as she raised the flask over his cup, not wanting things to change, fearing his reaction. But it had to be done. She’d done far more difficult things. This was for Magnus.

She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and poured it in.

Things were surprisingly easy after that. Bringing the drinks to the table, letting him drink it, giving him his identity back.

As soon as he showed signs of remembering, she pulled him outside so he wouldn’t get overwhelmed. One hundred years was a lot to take in at once.

“Just take it easy, okay? I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

“Wha-? Lucretia?” Magnus seemed very disoriented, but not in any immediate danger. Still, a person’s brain was a delicate thing, she couldn’t take too many risks.

“Okay, good, you recognise me. I’m gonna walk you through everything, okay? Just try to follow along with me, don’t remember too much too fast, it’s a lot to take in.”

And she told him. About their journey, their family, every cycle she’d taken such detailed notes on. Their losses, their joys, their friendship.

Everything, until she got to their last cycle. This planet. That was when she faltered, trying to admit what it was she’d done. She just couldn’t find it within her to say it, not out loud.

Magnus didn’t need to be told, though. He remembered now.

“You wiped everyone’s memories.”

“I… Yes. Yes, I did. I’m truly sorry, for everything, but the relic plan failed. You know how miserable everyone was. I was saving you from that.”

“Why didn’t you just tell us? Why would you think you had to do this on your own?”

“I- My plan was overlooked so quickly, they- they would have tried to stop me, I couldn’t-” She could feel tears welling up in her eyes and did her best to ignore them, despite the fact that it was getting hard to talk. “I guess I got so used to being on my own, I just… I forgot how to work with other people.”

Magnus sighed, and held out his arms for a hug. She numbly moved towards him, allowing him to wrap his arms around her.

“Lucretia, what happened to you?” He asked eventually. “You’re so much older than me now, how is that possible?”

That… she wasn’t expecting him to ask that. She didn’t know what she was expecting, condemnation perhaps? Certainly not concern. It should have been a relief, her age didn’t even bother her, this shouldn’t be affecting her so much, but just at that question she found herself bursting into tears.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m crying, I don’t normally do this, I-”

“Luce.” Magnus cut her off softly. “How long have you been keeping this to yourself? Since we were last together? Longer than that? Don’t be ashamed over crying, your body needs it. You’ve just been bottling stuff up until now.”

She couldn't even respond. She just kept crying on him. Magnus was patient, waited it out.

“A bad run in with some liches trying to get Barry’s relic, it’s not important.” She admitted, once she had calmed down somewhat.

“So what happens now?” Magnus asked, shifting the topic away from her breakdown. Gods, she was so grateful for him. “Do you know where the others are?”

“Uh, some of them,” she admitted, trying to get her brain back into focus. “Merle and Davenport I’m still keeping tabs on, Taako and Barry are mostly in the wind. I… still haven’t found Lup. I’ve been looking, as much as I can, but after this long? We might have to accept that there is a way for liches to die after all.”

Magnus was quiet for a moment at that. She knew he was processing the same grief she felt every day, the grief she’d tried to save everyone from. Lup was such an instrumental member of their group, everyone had loved her so much. Especially after one hundred years of resets, it was hard to imagine that she was gone for good.

“Is Taako okay? Without his sister?” He eventually asked. “You said you didn’t know where he was, but that’s gotta be a new development, right? He came through Raven’s Roost with his cooking show like two years ago, he seemed okay then, what happened?”

“As far as I can tell, somehow his audience got poisoned, he abandoned the show and ran. He’s been hard to find since then.” It wasn’t a lie, but she wasn’t ready to share what she actually knew about Taako yet. “He’s still better off believing he doesn’t have a sister than knowing she’s dead, he’s got to be. But none of my plans for any of you really worked out.”

“At least you asked for help,” Magnus reminded her. “That’s way better than trying to do this all yourself, and we can try and fix some of this now, maybe. But what about you, what are you doing now? Where have you been living all these years?”

“You remember those scientists we looked into when we first arrived, the Millers? I’ve been staying with them, searching for Lup and the relics. So far, I haven’t found much of either. But I don’t really know what else to do.”

“And they’re good people, you trust them?”

“About as much as I trust anyone, yeah.”

“Okay then. I don’t really have anything keeping me here, so we regroup, go find the science people, figure it out from there. Yeah?” Magnus asked.

“Yeah. That seems as good a plan as any. Thanks, Magnus.”

* * *

“Honestly, Lucretia, where do you keep finding these people,” was Maureen’s first question when Lucretia showed up at her door with a Magnus who was staring in awe at the building the Millers owned. The fact that he perpetually looked like he’d just come from a fight didn’t help.

“I know, I know you don’t know him or have any reason to trust him, but I do, and he’s got nowhere to go right now. It’s a lot to ask, but I have to, please let him stay.”

“Well, it’s not like I could say no.”

“Thank you, so much. I promise, you won’t even know he’s here.”

“Hey, how did you build this place? How are you powering it?” Magnus cut in, still staring up at the building. “I’m not an expert in magitech but this seems way more advanced than anything else on this plane, and I can’t figure out where you’re getting all the energy from.”

Okay, well-

“You’ll know he’s here a little bit, but you won’t even notice, we can keep him in the closet or something, it’ll be fine.” She said, far too quickly. Yep. That’s totally how conversation works, Lucretia, well done.

Luckily, Maureen was fairly used to this.

“Well, the good thing is we’ve got plenty of space,” she laughed. “Magnus, for as long as you’re a friend to Lucretia, you’ll have a place here. And I’d be happy to go over some of the basics with you when I’ve got time, if you’re interested. Lucretia, you can show him upstairs?”

“Yeah, I’ve got it.”

“Hey, Luce?” Magnus whispered to her as they made their way inside.

“Yes?” She whispered back.

“I’m really glad you got yourself a family,” he smiled, shoving her lightly with his arm. “You really deserve it.”

She didn’t deserve it. She didn’t deserve the Millers’ kindness, or Magnus’ unconditional love. But she couldn’t find it in her heart to tell him that.

“Thanks, Magnus.”

“Any time.”

For the next few flights of stairs, they walked in silence, before Magnus suddenly asked-

“Hey, is Fisher here?”

Lucretia was somewhat surprised at the question, but then remembered how close Magnus and Fisher had been, of course he’d ask as soon as he could.

“Uh, yes, actually, I’ve got a room for their tank and everything. We can sort out your room and then you can see them if you want.”

“Cooooool.”

It didn’t take long to sort out a couple of rooms for Magnus, he had very little by way of belongings and they had more than enough space. And besides, even if it had been more difficult, Magnus’ mind was clearly elsewhere.

As soon as they walked into the voidfish chamber, Fisher immediately began to light up in excitement, bright colours flashing through their bell.

Magnus seemed equally overjoyed to see his friend. He leant his head against the tank, palm pressed up to the glass.

“Missed you, buddy.”

Fisher put a tendril up to meet his hand. Magnus laughed, looking up at the jellyfish.

“And look at you! You’ve gotten so big!”

Fisher hummed in response, doing an enthusiastic somersault in their tank as if to show off that they were now a good ten feet tall at least.

“I’ll bring you some ducks later, I promise,” Magnus said to them, provoking yet more excited light and music. Lucretia decided to leave the two of them alone, let Magnus get acclimatised to being here.

She wandered down the hallway, to the rooms she hadn’t told Magnus about yet. Truthfully, she didn’t know how to. She’d managed so much just to get Magnus here, but this… this would be admitting her biggest mistake. This might lose his trust entirely.

She turned the lights on.

“Davenport?” Davenport asked. Lucretia walked over to sit by him.

“Yeah, Davenport, I know. There’s someone new here now. But he’s a friend, I promise.”

“Davenport,” Davenport agreed.

“Yeah, you’d like him. You already have, for so long. But we can’t let Magnus know you’re here just yet, okay? We can’t let him, I mean, things wouldn’t work if…” She trailed off. This was all for selfish reasons and she knew it. _Fuck._

She didn’t know what she was doing. She didn’t have a plan, she just kept covering things in temporary solutions and pretending it was okay. Everything with Davenport was just the tip of the iceberg.

She turned towards Davenport again. He was looking up at her without saying anything. Lucretia liked to think she was good at reading people, but she had no idea what he was thinking right now. Then again, she was finding her own thoughts and feelings just as much of an enigma.

They were far from out of the fire. Lucretia didn’t even know how to begin to fix the Taako situation. She’d yet to encounter a relic user who didn’t eventually end up destroying themselves in their quest for power. Taako was different, he had to be, she _needed_ to believe he was different, but the truth was, she didn’t know. And the longer she took to figure out a plan, the more danger he was in.

Still, if there was one upside to this whole mess, it was that things might be changing. She had Magnus now, and with Davenport that was three of them in one place, enough to almost believe they were still on the ship and none of this had happened. For the first time in almost six years, she was starting to get her family back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaand we're back!~~~
> 
> a day early bc i've had a huge day today and i've got another huge day tomorrow and i don't wanna be worrying about posting this then, next week will be back to wednesday updates (or tuesday if you're in the america side of the world)
> 
> this is the last lucretia chapter for, at least the next three or four, next week will be another check in with taako and then im gonna bounce around with the povs for a bit as i push all the other pieces into place for the rest of the plot (but i doubt it's the last, i love writing my girl)
> 
> (i also hope you guys like magnus and lucretia's friendship as much as i do bc they're very good)
> 
> (also there is no way magnus spent 100 years around arcane scientists without picking up at least the basics of magitech, thank you for coming to my ted talk)


	8. Interlude

As long as Taako could remember, he’d get nightmares. Not every night, but most of them. Night terrors, even, sometimes. Things that made it hard to sleep through the night, made you not want to sleep through the night. It sucked, but he figured that was just the consequence of relying on yourself your whole life, so like, whatever. Being awake was easier for protecting yourself. It’s not like anyone was ever around to notice, and if they were, they usually knew well enough to mind their own fucking business. 

Since that night in the rain, though, things had been different. Things just,  _ felt _ different. And his nightmares? Gone. 

That said, he didn’t really get dreams either. There was something else in his mind now when he slept, and he still wasn’t sure if he liked it.

As with every night for the past week, the room he now stood in was crystalline and ever shifting, never settling on a colour, and seemingly lit from within, or at least, not by any light source Taako could see. But then again, dreams had their own kind of magic, not beholden to any laws the world set out for them. If this dream wanted to be made of glowy crystal, then sure, whatever, Taako could respect that. It was a cool aesthetic.

What was less cool was the visitor he always had here. The stone was useful, and honestly, he didn’t have anything against it as a semi sentient being, not really. But was it too much to ask for a little privacy every now and then? Not even his own head was sacred anymore.

A voice reverberated through the crystal, making him jump. Yeah, he really should have been expecting that one. 

_ “You know, you don’t seem very set on what it is you’re trying to achieve here.” _

Well, at least it didn’t mention the complaining thing. Taako was fairly sure the stone could read his thoughts in here. But honestly, he could do without the snide comments. He was doing what he wanted to do, they were good.

_ “I thought the point of this was to get famous again? Make everyone know your name?” _

See? Speaking, not necessary. 

“No, it is.” He said anyway. Fuck mind reading and everything it stood for. “It _ is _ , there’s just some things I want to get to first.”

He could almost hear the stone scoff.

_ “Like what? You’ve got rid of everyone in your way, all you’re doing now is wandering and wasting my abilities on, what? A bunch of fruit? Your own fleeting amusement? I was made for more, and you know it.  _ You  _ were made for more.” _

“I know, homie, but sometimes you just gotta go with what you feel, you know? We got all the time in the world, it’s not like you run out of power, just let me have this one. It’s all good.”

_ “Right. So you’re just doing this because you feel like it? And not because you have any doubts about your plan?” _

No? Why would he? Fame, fortune, recognition, they’d all been things he’d wanted as long as he could remember. To get the attention he deserved, to not have to feel weak or powerless anymore, to get revenge against the shitty hand life had dealt him. 

The voice paused for a moment, then changed tactic. 

_ “Listen, I’m just here to make your life easier. But you know how this works. You’re not gonna get anywhere if you’re feeling guilty about the people you gotta hurt to get there.” _

That wasn’t- That wasn’t the problem? What was he talking about, there wasn’t even a problem. Everything was going fine, the stone was just making a big deal out of nothing. 

He still didn’t like it though. Didn’t like people in his head, didn’t like them assuming they knew everything about him. And the worst part was that the voice was everywhere, he couldn't even turn his back to it. 

He was trancing though, and he was pretty good at waking up when he needed. He didn’t have to stay here. 

“You know I don’t have to deal with this right?” He said to nowhere in particular, just to make sure the stone was getting the point. “Like, this isn’t compulsory? I can pull myself out of trance any time I like.”

_ “Go on then,”  _ came the irritatingly passive tone of voice. 

Fine. He would. See how they liked that.

He concentrated on pulling himself out of the dream, allowing his focus to shift back to reality.

He woke up in the back of his caravan, still by the riverside where he’d parked it earlier that evening. Where he expected to be. Morning was probably still a way away, but it was hardly the first time Taako had been awake through the night, and fuck if he was staying there a moment longer. He didn’t need his motives picked apart, okay? This was  _ his _ fucking life.

Gods, why did he still feel so shitty over this? The stone was fucking wrong, he didn’t need to explain himself to fucking anyone. He picked up a book and chucked it against the wall. It didn’t really help. 

So what if he was still kinda wandering? It’s not like he had anything urgent to do.

Well, he maybe did? But he didn’t see any harm in taking his time with them, seeing how things played out a bit first. No good ever came from rushing into things. Or whatever.

Besides, things had been kinda weird lately. Which was mostly the stone’s fault.

Not that he wanted rid of it, just like… everyone else seemed to want it? And he got if people were jealous of his power, why wouldn’t they be, but this was  _ weird _ . Like it was mind controlling everyone but him. He could normally get away before anyone got hurt, but it made any kind of transactions with people, well, difficult.

There was another thing that seemed to freak people out about him too, which he’d noticed as soon as he got to a mirror. Whatever the stone was doing to boost his powers was doing weird shit to his eyes. Which like, he didn’t care, they looked kinda cool, and he could hide it with a glamour when he needed, he was well practiced at that. But it had led to some awkward situations before he realised what was going on, and honestly? The fact that none of this was going as easy as he thought it would was not helping his mood.

He was debating the merits of just setting shit on fire to feel better vs the difficulty of cleaning it up, when he heard a noise, and instantly snapped to attention.  Something small, moving outside the caravan. Not loud enough for most people to even register it, but he was an elf with years of practice being on the run, he picked up the tiniest of sounds.

He listened in closer, before he could focus in to identify it, the silent alarm spell he had placed on the caravan was tripped, sending him reeling from the input.

It might just have been a small animal, a cat, or a bird maybe. But some instinct told him it was more than that, something he should check. 

Gripping the stone, he carefully crept over to the window.

Darkness outside, no colour. Anyone without darkvision would be hopelessly lost out here. Grass, trees, water. Nothing out of the ordinary. No major threats. Nothing to be worried about.

And then he saw them. Two kids, creeping through the surrounding bushes, elves by the look of them, which would explain how they could see out here. It didn’t explain  _ why  _ they were out here, but as soon as one moved out of the foliage and into open space, Taako could make a pretty educated guess. 

Ragged clothing. Carrying bags nearly larger than themselves. The way their skin wrapped far too close to their bones for children their age, the telltale sign of going without enough food for far too long. Whatever had happened to their family, Taako didn’t know, but one thing was clear - these two were on their own.

Probably no magic to speak of, if their failure to notice the alarm was anything to go by, but one of them was carrying a knife. Either these kids were trying to get away from something, and didn’t care who they ran into along the way, or, far more likely, they were thieves.

He evaluated his situation. They weren’t really a threat, not to him, definitely not now, but he kicked all his stuff away from the door anyway. Didn’t need to risk them running off with anything he didn’t want them taking. 

And then the next part happened very quickly.

The lock was broken on the door, Taako had a second to consider his surprise at how unsubtle they were being, before there was a knife pointed right at him.

Instinctively, Taako raised a hand to light the lanterns. The sudden bright light momentarily blinded all of them, but Taako recovered quicker. The other two both flinched away, shielding their faces, which at least got the dagger away from his face. Cool. One problem at a time.

The shock seemed to jolt them a little, and one of them (Taako would tentatively call her a girl) grabbed the other’s hand, in a very telling gesture to get out of there. But the other (probably her brother) didn’t move, regaining his fighting stance, though his eyes kept flicking towards the stone in Taako’s hand. Goddamnit. He hated when this wasn’t their fault.

The boy spoke up, still aiming the knife at Taako.

“Give us whatever valuables you got and no one gets hurt.” 

Taako looked him over, trying to figure out the best thing to say to resolve this situation.

“Well, look at you with your big scary dagger, I’m trembling in my boots. Watch me.” He said to the kid, gesturing to how he was standing perfectly still. Or, maybe he was just only capable of being an asshole. “Seriously kid, you ain’t fooling anyone.” 

Yeah, that was clearly the wrong thing to say. The boy narrowed his eyes for a second, then leapt at Taako, clearly going for the stone in his hand. 

Taako, fortunately, had way more practiced in these kinds of situations. He nimbly dodged out of the way, grabbing the kid’s wrist and dislodging the knife from his grip.

Having the stone in plain sight was an issue though, he could admit that. He dropped it into his pocket, and hooked the knife onto his belt. It probably wouldn’t stop them from wanting it, but at least no one was attacking anyone.

_ “What are you doing?” _ the stone whispered in his mind.  _ “They tried to steal from you, they don’t deserve your pity.” _

_ “Ain’t pity, homie,”  _ he thought back.  _ “Sooner they get what they want sooner they leave, simple as that.” _

_ “If you wanted them gone, there are far more effective ways to be rid of them.” _

Yeah, Taako was just gonna pretend he didn’t hear that. 

“Look kids, I don’t trust you, you don’t trust me, etc etc, but seriously, this? Not the best way to go about this. No matter what it is you want.”

“You don’t know anything about us,” the girl said, in a surprisingly defiant tone. Taako was almost impressed, considering she was the one who’d wanted to leave since things first started going Taako’s way.

Taako raised an eyebrow.

“Right. Sure I don't,” he said. “Lemme guess, you got jack shit to your name, and it’s starting to get cold out, so you’re panicking. You pick out the first vaguely fancy looking person you can find, you wait ‘til it’s dark, and you rob the shit out of them, yeah? Which would have worked great, until you came across someone who knew what you were up to, that’s me by the way, with a very pretty magic stone that you really wanna get your hands on for some reason. But you can’t, it’s mine. That about sum it up?”

The girl seemed about as suspicious of him as he would have expected, but slowly nodded. The boy just kept glaring at him.

Taako sighed.

“Look, how about this.” He offered, reaching down to the pile on the floor for one of the books on beginner magic. He chucked it at the girl, who caught it. “You two clearly need something better than a knife if you’re gonna keep doing this. Magic’s better in a pinch, you get used to using it, you have a better chance of not dying. I don’t really need this anymore, so you take that, you fuck off, we good?”

“Oh, and you can have this back, I guess, if you’re not gonna stab me with it,” he added as an afterthought, unhooking the knife. 

The girl looked him over again, evaluating, but then nodded. 

“Awesome. Also, do yourselves a favour, learn to recognise when someone’s got an alarm spell up. Chances are, if they don’t, they don’t got magic or they’re idiots, either way, you got a better shot.”

Things almost worked out. The two could have just left with the book, Taako would be rid of them, no harm done. 

But then they didn’t. The kid who’d spent the whole time angry at him tried to jump at him again, going for the stone, the knife, anything of value.

Taako, taken aback, tried to dodge out of the way but was knocked to the ground, and before he could think about whether or not it was a good idea, cast Magic Missile.

It was a dumb defense mechanism, the result of years of having to fend for himself against people who wanted to hurt him. But it wasn’t him that got hurt this time. 

Instead, the kid got knocked backwards, crying out in pain from the glowing darts of magic striking him at such a close range. He tried to scramble to his feet, but it was wobbly, shaky, at least one of his legs had been hit. 

His sister didn’t mess around with words after that, or any of the niceties. She just grabbed the knife, and her brother, and started running.

_ Fuck.  _ This is exactly what he’d been trying to avoid.

At least they were gone now, he guessed.

As he watched them run off, he reached out with his stone-boosted magic senses and turned whatever copper pieces they were carrying into gold. Taako was no charity, and he’d be better off if those kids didn’t know he’d done anything. But he’d hurt the kid, even if he’d been trying not to, and being injured that made life on the road a thousand times more dangerous. And yeah, Taako didn’t want to kill them, so maybe he was doing something about it. So what. He’d been there, and it sucked. 

At least they had each other. Taako had had to do this alone, injuries and all. He’d known some kids his own age on the road, sure, but no one had stuck around long. 

Maybe if he had had someone he'd be a better person now. Or maybe they'd have died, lots of street kids did, and then Taako would have been in the same position, but with the pain of losing someone fresh in his heart. No, it was better to be alone. No one to drag you down, no one to care about. He got to where he was by himself, and he didn’t need anyone to be sharing the glory with.

_ “You sure helped those kids quick.”  _ The stone saw fit to add, still annoyed from being ignored.

“Yeah, so they’d leave, it didn’t mean shit.”

_ “None of that was to get rid of them and you know it.” _

“Okay, so I felt like going easy on them, maybe, what’s it to you.”

_ “I want to make sure you actually survive long enough to see your dream fulfilled. This isn’t how you get famous, this is how you get hurt. You know that.” _

“What, so I gotta actively be a dick in every situation, no matter what? I can be a person, we don’t have to be focused on that all the time,” he reminded it. 

_ “You know that’s not the problem. The problem is your dismissal of me. I thought we were doing this together?” _

“You’re still here, aren’t you?” Taako responded snippily. So maybe he was being too hard on the stone. It had done nothing but help, and it was just a focus, it didn’t have another agenda like everyone else Taako had ever met. He just hated how easy it was for it to get on his nerves.

_ “Listen. I’m just here to help you. But helping you sometimes means reminding you of  _ your  _ purpose, so you don’t get all lost in the weeds.” _

“...Yeah, I know. Thanks, I guess? Whatever.”

* * *

The day broke the next morning to a much bigger threat than Taako had anticipated.

He blearily pulled himself out of the half sleep he'd fallen into, and stood.

And stared.

The field outside his caravan was swarming with militia members, armed, some of them magic. Some even on the other side of the riverbank. He was surrounded.

What were they here for? What did he do? He wasn't well liked by people around here, but he hadn't done anything too bad to them, and he'd been covering his tracks since Sazed, hadn't he?

None of them had gotten too close yet, or the alarm would have been tripped, but there was no easy way out Taako could see.

And then he saw  _ them _ .

The kids who had run away last night, standing slightly behind one of the militia members. 

What looked like the leader started calling out charges, something about several counts of murder and criminal mischief or whatever, but Taako wasn’t really listening. He was trying to piece together the scene he saw before him. 

He’d never liked the militia as a kid, they’d been at best useless and at worst an active deterrent to him getting enough money to pay for, little things, like, you know, food. He understood if the kids didn’t trust him, understood if they hated him. He could understand them selling him out. But, to the militia? That, he couldn't understand.

He’d be wondering if they were even street kids at all, if it wasn’t for the fact that you couldn't fake that look. Kids who had always had a roof over their heads, always had enough to eat, didn’t have to fight to survive, they had a different air about them. A different way of carrying themselves. Looked less hungry. 

But here they were.

And then it clicked, and Taako felt his stomach drop at the realisation. They were still here for the stone. He was still poisoning everything he touched. If those kids got hurt now, it would be because of him. Well, even more because of him. 

He barely noticed when he fell back into his old instincts to get out of there. Bad situation, get yourself as far from it as you can, had always worked. And this situation was bad for so many different reasons. He shouldn’t have tried to help, he should have just told them to fuck off, done some dumb magic trick to scare them and left it at that. He shouldn’t have wasted so much time, letting the militia collect the information they needed on him. He should have been faster, been cleverer, been  _ better _ . 

He stepped out of the caravan. Immediately, all eyes were on him. 

Maybe they thought he was going to turn himself in. Maybe they thought he was going to attack. Either way, he didn’t give them the chance to act.

In one quick move he shrunk the caravan, horses, and all his belongings down to a miniscule size, scooped them into his pocket, and cast Etherealness.

The ethereal plane instantly faded into view. Its soft black and white tones were almost a source of comfort. In here, no one could get to him, he was truly safe. He took a deep breath, gathering himself, and started moving. 

He could walk right past everyone without them ever knowing he was there.

He could run as much as he liked, get as far away as he needed to.

_ “You know that’s not the solution, right?” _

For the guide it kept trying to be, the stone was sometimes infuriatingly vague. And right now, when Taako was tired and stressed and nervous, it wasn’t helping.

“Then what  _ is?  _ You keep telling me what not to do, how what I’m doing is wrong, how do I make it better? What am I supposed to do?” He almost yelled at it, grateful he was on another plane, where no one could hear him and his stupid desperate voice.

“ _ Stop  _ running.  _ You could rule this world, but you’re letting it rule you. You’ll never be that powerless again, that I can promise you. You don’t owe anyone anything.” _

He stopped. Maybe the stone was right. Maybe it had been right all along, and all of this was not only his fault, it could have been avoided from the start. They’d been fine, they’d had a plan. But along the way they started to diverge, or maybe, Taako started to diverge.

There was a part of him that trusted the stone wholeheartedly, that recognised the stone only had his best interests at heart. And there was a part of him that was just, scared. And the past few days, maybe he’d been listening to that part more and more. 

_ “So. Are you done hesitating?” _

“...Yeah. Yeah, let’s do this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is officially the closest i've ever cut it with the writing, i finished this chapter like 20 minutes ago, so if it's not as good, bear with, 'cause i dont know how the fuck writing works XD
> 
> (this interlude otherwise entitled "in case you forgot who this fic's about" bc it's been four weeks and feels like four months)


	9. Chapter Seven

So.

Here’s how Magnus was doing:

He’d been better.

Remembering everything that had happened, processing it all, and the decisions Lucretia had made for all of them, it was a lot to take in, and Magnus was already pretty emotioned out. Somehow, even with the memories of a family Magnus had sworn to protect, a family he’d travelled with for a century, he’d never felt more alone.

That lack of one important person made all the difference. Julia would have liked this place. She was always the better carpenter when it came to buildings, he liked to furnish them, and this place was gorgeous.

Fuck he missed her. It was nice to get Lucretia back and all, but he had a family in Raven’s Roost, a way to settle down he’d never had before. He’d thought he was going to live with her forever. And they didn’t even get three months of being married before it was all taken from him.

Everything reminded him of her lately, and Steven. It made it hard to stay in any one place long, he kept wandering, unable to sit still.

Maybe it made sense now he had his memories back, that after 100 years of travel he wouldn’t be able to stop. He thought he’d had it all figured out, what he wanted to do with his life, but now he just didn’t know. He didn’t know if he wanted to _have_ one, honestly. And something about that seemed to translate into restlessness on the smallest level - pacing the room, trying to sit, maybe carve a thing to take his mind off it, but he’d mess it up, abandon it, and then return to pacing.

It wasn’t long before he got sick of that room and decided to go exploring. It was very late by now, or maybe early morning, but sleep was another thing he’d been having a problem with lately.

The Millers owned a very big building. Magnus knew a lot of the scientific stuff was downstairs, labs and all that. He’d had a look around, a lot of it was really familiar, planar science and so on, but a lot of it went a bit over his head. Hanging around planar scientists for a hundred years did wonders for your comprehension of the topic, but he was part of the IPRE as a security officer, not any of the nerds. Even if the twins would have been insulted at the very idea that they could be included in “the nerds”.

This floor, though, seemed to be mostly living quarters. He knew Lucretia had a whole section of rooms for herself, and he’d been given quite a few too. Then of course there was Fisher’s chamber, which by necessity was a very large room, with high ceilings that could accommodate a tank nearly twenty feet tall.

Magnus worried sometimes that they wouldn’t have enough space in the tank, now they were this big. But Fisher had seemed content in there, and certainly happy to see Magnus. He’d have to ask Lucretia the rules later on taking giant jellyfish for walks.

The rest of the rooms on this floor, though, he hadn’t seen yet. A lot were empty. He supposed they’d built a lot of this building in preparation of needing stuff later, rather than what they needed now. Or maybe they just liked having a lot of empty rooms.

In the ones at the end of the hall though, there was a light on. Maybe it was someone else Magnus didn’t know, and if they didn’t want to talk to him, he’d leave them alone, but Magnus had never been one for shying away from his own curiosity.

He crept down the hall towards the rooms, and knocked at the door.

“Davenport?” He heard from inside.

Oh shit, Davenport was here? It wasn’t just a coincidence, he knew that voice. Why hadn’t Lucretia said something? Maybe she was waiting for him to get settled?

Whatever the reason, Magnus wasn’t waiting. IPRE members were automatically forfeit from any kind of politeness rules he might have had in place.

He opened the door.

It was indeed Davenport inside.

Davenport walked up to him. Something seemed a bit off about him, but maybe it was just their six years apart.

“Davenport?” Davenport questioned, like that was the only word he knew.

Something was definitely wrong.

“Cap’n’port?” Magnus asked, hesitantly. Maybe he was overthinking things, maybe Davenport had a reason for this, maybe it was just a coincidence.

“Davenport?” said Davenport, quizzically, and Magnus could only stare in shock at him. This couldn't be a coincidence. Whoever was standing in front of him was Davenport, yes, but this wasn’t the captain he knew, the friend he’d travelled with for a hundred years. Whoever this was, barely seemed like a person.

“What…. What happened to you? Is this because of Fisher? Has Lucretia had you here the whole time?”

“Davenport,” he said, like he wasn’t sure how to answer all of Magnus’ questions in his limited form of speech.

This… wasn't right. Nothing gave Lucretia the right to do this. Even if it was a mistake, there had to be some way they could fix him.

He knelt down next to Davenport, meeting his eyes.

“I gotta go find Lucretia. I’ll be back, I promise.”

It was still late, way later than Magnus would normally consider bugging Lucretia, but this wasn’t something that could wait. He retraced his steps to his room, and from there he knew the way to her study.

There was a light on inside. She was still awake. Good.

Lucretia looked up as he entered, rushing to hide whatever papers she was looking at - maps maybe? - under a stack of books. Normally, Magnus would be more curious, but he was here for one reason and one reason only.

She must have noticed this, as she seemed somewhat taken aback by his demeanour, but calmly asked-

“Can I help you, Magnus?”

“When were you planning on telling me about Davenport?” He returned her question with one of his own, speech clipped. Probably more angry than he ever was around Lucretia, but in this situation, it was justified.

She studied his face, biting her tongue, seemingly unsure what to say, or maybe just where to start.

“You found him.” It wasn’t a question.

“You thought I wouldn’t? You wiped everyone’s memories, by yourself, and now you wouldn't even tell me about this? When did you stop trusting us?”

“I- I was scared of how you’d react. How _he’d_ react.”

“Yeah, you should have been! Lucretia, how can you justify leaving him like this? He’s supposed to be our captain, just look at him!”

“Do you think I enjoy seeing him like this? I-”

“Then fix him!” Magnus interrupted her, slamming his hands down on the table.

Lucretia flinched at the noise, but didn’t look away.

“Magnus, please just trust me. Now is not the best time, there are too many pieces in place, it’s not that simple.”

“Lucretia, you know I trust you, but not on this. There is no justification for leaving him like this. None.”

“Okay. Okay. Just, give me some time, okay? I need to ensure that everything is set up right, or-”

“No, Luce! You’ve had time. Fix him. _Now_.”

She looked him in the eyes, weighing it. Magnus had seen this look on her face more times than he could count, the look she got whenever she had to make a tough decision. Honestly, what hurt most is that this was even a decision for her.

“...Alright. We’ll do it.”

* * *

It wasn’t much longer they ended up back in Davenport’s room.

Lucretia handed him the ichor with trepidation, but encouraged him to drink it.

Davenport was silent for a long time, seemingly processing. Magnus guessed that was fair, he’d been through a lot.

After handing him the ichor, Lucretia had slowly backed away, maybe not realising she was doing it, but was now near the wall, looking like she wanted nothing more than to disappear.

A lot of emotions crossed Davenport’s face - surprise, confusion, anger, hurt - before settling into the blank expression they had come to know as his leading-at-all-costs face.

“Hey, Cap’n’port. You okay?” Magnus asked.

“Magnus? Where are we? Where is everyone else? How long has it been?” He asked, the first real words he’d probably said in a while.

Magnus did his best to explain what he knew of the situation, how Lucretia had wiped everyone’s memories, what was going on with the world right now, that Lucretia had found him recently and brought him back here. Lucretia did her best to not be noticed.

“So what now?” was Davenport’s first question. “ _Why_ now? And what took you so long?”

Lucretia stepped forward somewhat.

“Well, Magnus is the answer to that last one. As for why now, I guess I just, couldn't be without my family anymore.”

Davenport looked incredulous.

“Anymore? Why did you do this in the first place?”

Lucretia seemed to harden a little, this was a cause she was dedicated to, something she wouldn’t back down on.

“You saw what happened with the relic wars. They’re destroying this world! Making everyone forget was the only way to keep them from doing that.”

“But why us? Why not just the world at large?”

“Because none of you ever agreed with me. You dismissed and overlooked my plans whenever I presented them. I needed to do this on my own.”

“So what is your plan?” Davenport asked snippily. Both of them were trying not to show outright anger, but they were easily riled up by each other, and some slipped through his guard.

“What does it look like? People still stumble across the relics every day. My plan worked, but not enough. I’m getting them out of people’s way.”

“And you think collecting the relics will help? Having them all in one place isn’t gonna stop people from questing after them, the craveability will still draw them here.”

“So we put the light back together, start over.”

Davenport paused to take a breath, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“And then what, Lucretia? That’ll bring the hunger here. You’ll condemn this world all over again.”

“Not if I stop them.” Lucretia was set in this, wouldn’t back down.

“We discussed this already, if we do your plan, we can’t leave. Are you really prepared to die here if it fails? Barry and Lup were so sure it would, that’s too big a risk.”

“And you want to do, what, exactly? You can’t tell me you’re happy just staying here forever, while our creations slowly kill more and more people!”

“No, I’m not happy with it, but it’s better than the alternative.”

“Is it? Or have we just convinced ourselves of that?”

“Okay, guys, that’s enough!” Magnus interjected. “You want to discuss this all over again? Maybe that’s what we need to do. But we do it with the whole team here. No more hiding, no more solo missions, no more _secrets_ , Lucretia!”

There was a pause, as Magnus’ words sunk in.

“Can we agree on that?” He asked.

Lucretia and Davenport looked at each other, and then nodded. Magnus breathed a sigh of relief.

And then Lucretia spoke up.

“Okay. You want no secrets? There’s one last thing I haven’t told you.”

Of course there was. Magnus loved Lucretia, he really did, but who she was now was, difficult, to deal with sometimes. Still, she looked like she was trying to gather herself, so Magnus waited.

“I have seen Taako recently.” She said eventually, staring at the floor. “I don’t know where he is, you know how difficult it is to find him when he doesn’t want to be found. But he crossed paths with me recently, and I- I don’t think he was himself. And he might have unearthed his own relic from somewhere. He should be immune to it, but I don’t really know how not having his memory will affect that.”

That was… How was Magnus supposed to process that? Taako was his friend, if he wasn’t okay they should be looking for him, right? They couldn't just leave him alone, not now, not after everything.

“When?” Davenport asked, back to being all business.

“A few days ago. I planned to start looking for him again once I made sure Magnus was safe, but it’s been hard to track him, especially now.”

Davenport took a deep breath.

“Okay. Okay. I can’t say I’m not mad at you for a lot of things right now, but that can wait until our family is safe and back together. And you’re sure there’s nothing more you’re keeping from us?

“No. That’s it.”

“So what are we waiting for?” Magnus burst in, since no one else was saying it. “If Taako might be in danger, why are we just standing around here? Why aren’t we looking for him?”

“If I’m honest?” Lucretia answered. “It’s not Taako I’m worried about, it’s anyone he might cross paths with. He’s powerful, if we go in without a plan we might not walk out. Or he might not. I’m not saying don’t look for him, gods know I’ve been trying everything I can. But if we’re doing this as a family? It’s more important now than ever.”

There was another pause, as all of them considered what best to do. Magnus wanted to go after Taako right away, fuck the consequences, but Lucretia was right on this one, that could get someone hurt, someone he cared about. So with great reluctance, he said-

“Alright. So we find Merle and Barry. You said you knew where Merle was?”

Lucretia nodded.

“He’s with a dwarven community on the coast. He’s got something of a family of his own, which is why I didn’t want to pull him away from it, though honestly from the looks of things I’m not sure how well that’s going. It’s worth asking at least, if this is what we’re doing.”

“I can do that,” Davenport offered.

Lucretia looked at him.

“You’re sure? Do you need anyone with you?”

“No, I got this.” Davenport said confidently. Magnus was pretty sure he just wanted the time alone, after so long of not having it. But Merle and him had gotten along well, so maybe he was the best man for the job.

“Okay sounds good,” Magnus said. “And the two of us go after Barry?”

“I mean, yes,” Lucretia started. “But I don’t know where he is.”

“Lucretia, the man’s a lich, and also an alien, and you’re telling me you can’t track him?”

“None of us really majored in Divination, and experimental magic was more Lup and Barry’s forte, and they’re not here.”

“Okay, I see your point, however… We are kind of in an arcane science lab? There’s no one here who could help?”

She blinked, like she hadn’t considered that.

“I suppose we could try and ask someone.”

“Do you think you could show me to whatever counts as transport around here first?” Davenport interjected. “No sense wasting time after all.”

Okay, it was still like, very early morning, that had to be about more than just efficiency. But if he needed time to process, it was the least they could do to give it to him. Lucretia seemed to realise that as well.

“Uh, yes, of course.”

* * *

If Lucretia was honest, she had no idea if her and Davenport were ever gonna be friends again, not after this. She would deserve it. But he was right, they had more important things to do.

She had talked him through their new bubble/cannon transport system, kind of a bizarre way to travel under any circumstances, but it was the fastest they had.

And then it was back to her and Magnus.

First, she had to figure out who there actually was she could ask. She had waited until a few more people were awake, though in this place there were often workers around the clock. Maureen was busy today with the science conference, but Lucas would be around somewhere, and he was who she was most familiar with.

She poked her head in through the door of his lab.

“Hey, uh, Lucas? Do we have a list of everyone who works here?”

“What do I look like, the secretary? Probably, go ask someone else for it,” he said, without looking up from his work. Helpful as always, Lucas.

But he didn’t make a bad point about the secretary, the reception area had to have records, right?

She headed downstairs, looking for records on who exactly they employed here, and if they had a divination department.

It was a much smaller department than most here, given how this was primarily arcane science, but they did have a lab of their own. Lucretia noted down the room number, then went to go find it.

She approached the first workstation she found, a girl who looked less busy than the others, probably overseeing or waiting on a project or something like that.

“Do you think I could ask a favour? As a friend of Maureen.”

The girl eyed her over.

“Depends what it is.”

“I need you to track someone, it’s important.”

“I’m sure it is if you’re calling in favours. I’ve seen you around, so I believe you’re a friend of Maureen, but not everyone can be tracked.”

Lucretia chuckled softly to herself.

“I’m sure this one can.”

“You got a name? Any kind of identifiers?

“Uh, Barry Bluejeans? Also a lich? And if it helps, not from this plane?”

The more Lucretia spoke the more incredulous the girl seemed.

“...What the fuck kind of people have you been making friends with?” She asked.

“Can you just do it, please?”

“Yeah, fine, just tell Maureen she’s paying me extra for this,” she grumbled, heading over to the lab cupboard to collect some supplies.

And then they waited.

“Alright, I got a location,” she said, about half an hour later.

Lucretia looked up from the chair she’d been anxiously sitting in.

“Where?”

“Neverwinter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> life is kicking my ass rn and i have no idea if this is even good but uh, -pushes chapter towards you- here take it
> 
> (next chapter is one i've been planning a while so hopefully i will get that done quicker and hate it less lmao)


	10. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... i don't have my computer atm, and am thus uploading this from mobile for the first time? hopefully the formatting should go okay, but if it doesn't, bear with, i'll fix it in a few days
> 
> but yeah, im really excited about this chapter, so, enjoy :D

The life of Barry Bluejeans went something like this: Wake up in a cave with no memory of the previous night. Retrieve clothing from the chest that was always inexplicably there. Find mysterious coin in the pocket, full of recorded notes supposedly left by himself. It was his voice, anyway, and it sure seemed to know enough about him that Barry trusted it. Follow said instructions until inevitable death. Wake up in a cave with no memory of the previous night.

It was a bizarre life, for sure. He wasn’t sure it even counted as a life at this point. He remembered dying a good five or six times, but none of them ever seemed to stick, and he couldn’t explain why. Did he have some kind of guardian angel? Was he just a necromancer’s experiment? Was the world actually real, or was it all just an illusion on a loop and Barry was the only one who noticed the resets?

...Okay, that last one was maybe a bit far-fetched. But Barry stood by the fact that if it was ever proved right, he totally called it.

He had considered before just ignoring the coin, and trying to live a normal life, no dying involved. But, no matter how it happened, he always ended up back at this one quest.

See, there was something _missing_ from his life. He didn’t know what - or who - it was, every time he tried to figure it out he ended up with nothing but a vague sense memory, something good, but no details he could possibly follow. He knew one thing for sure though - whoever had been taken from him, his life had been better with them in it, and he would have done anything for them. Her? It felt like a her. Maybe.

Which didn’t make a lot of sense. Barry didn’t have friends, let alone anyone he loved that much. And yet, every time the coin mentioned his lost love, he felt the ache in his chest of her absence, and he knew he’d do whatever he had to to get her back.

Even if it meant dangerous missions. Which, a lot of the time, they were. Take this job, follow this person, pretend to be a mercenary looking for a job. And… it worked? He hadn’t found whoever it was he was looking for, but the jobs paid well, and he was a surprisingly decent fighter, despite having no memory of ever learning how to fight. He remembered his childhood, his interest in science and arcana, his reluctance to socialising, his music lessons that he’d hated at first but had grown to love. Nowhere in that was there fight training. Nowhere in that did it even make sense for there to be, Barry was about as nerdy as one got. And yet every time he got himself into a sticky situation, his instincts got him out of it.

Sometimes that made him nervous. He liked being able to think his way through a situation instead of just trusting he could manage it. But whatever it was he’d forgotten, it hadn’t failed him yet. And this is where the coin told him to be, so for the moment, he was along for the ride.

Right now, that brought him here: a tavern in Neverwinter, tailing a dwarf named Rockseeker for no reason he understood, waiting for his family to reach an agreement so they could go… treasure hunt? Or something. All he knew was, the coin had told him there was something in that treasure that might be able to lead him to whoever he was looking for, which more or less made it worth it to wait around.

At least the food was good. The company was… not. This dwarf was having an argument with several of his cousins about whether or not they should even go on this mission, something something too early something something orcs. Barry hated watching people arguing, so he was doing his best not to listen. Unfortunately, there was a limit to how much you could drown out when sitting only a table away from the problem.

As he was considering giving up and just casting silence on the lot of them, two people walked up to him. A man who might be one of the biggest guys Barry had ever seen, and an older woman in blue.

“Can I… help you?” He asked, somewhat warily. It wasn’t often that people came looking for him, he’d made an effort not to make a name for himself. The coin had told him to keep a low profile, so he listened.

“Okay, well, this might sound completely batshit crazy, but uh, my name is Lucretia, this is Magnus, and we are people you used to know, people you’ve forgotten about? Family, even, you could say. Which, uh-”

“No, actually, it doesn’t.” Barry cut in.

“It- what?”

“It doesn’t sound crazy,” He repeated, and he meant it. “I’ve sort of got this magic coin? It fills me in on what I’m supposed to be doing, recorded messages and all that. I don’t remember leavin’ ‘em, but it sure is my voice, and it knows a lot of shit only I would know, so uh, I believe it. And it’s main deal is tellin’ me about shit I forgot. There’s pieces missing from my life. If you guys are part of that, then, great.”

It was far from the weirdest story he’d ever heard. And the fact that he remembered so little about his family, but knew he had one, made it ring true.

Lucretia seemed surprised at that, but quickly refocused.

“So you’ll come with us?”

Barry grimaced. Of all the times for this to happen, did it have to be _now?_

“Well, normally I’d say yeah, but I’m kinda busy at the moment? And this quest isn’t one I can just forget about.”

“Quest? What are you here for?” asked Magnus.

Barry paused, considering whether or not to trust them. Normally, he wouldn’t have said anything at all, this quest was too important to risk someone getting in the way, but it had just kind of slipped out, like these were people he was used to telling everything. He wanted to trust them. Not because he recognised them, he didn’t know them from Adam, but he wanted to. On some level, he already did. Besides, how often was it someone admitted to being the long lost family you’d forgotten about? At this point, he’d trusted weirder.

“Hey, if you guys are my long lost family or whatever, do you know who it is I’ve been looking for? Everything the coin says is leading me to search for her, but it can never tell me who she is.”

Both of their faces changed in an instant. Sympathetic, maybe? Surprised? Disappointed?

“Oh, Barry,” Lucretia breathed, closing her eyes. He hadn’t expected that question to hurt them so much. How much about him did they know?

“I’m gonna take that as a yes?” He asked hesitantly.

Magnus patted his arm. “Yeah, we do, bud.”

“If you come with us, I can’t say for sure that you’ll find her, but I help you remember her, I promise,” said Lucretia.

“Is there a time limit on this offer?” Barry asked. “Because that sounds great, no lie, but I might have something better. I’m here because I have a lead on where she is.”

For all he believed them, wanted to go with them, he couldn't abandon this quest. Couldn't abandon her.

“You… you do?” Lucretia asked.

“You think I’m hanging around these guys because I like them? No, the coin said Gundren Rockseeker had this treasure trove or whatever that was the last place anyone saw her.”

“Okay, wow, I, uh, I gotta say I was not expecting that. But that’s better news than I’ve heard in a long time.”

“So, do you think we can get in on this?” Magnus asked.

“I mean, good question. Those guys don’t seem to agree on whether or not they should go at all, let alone whether to bring other people along?”

Lucretia seemed to be considering, then sat down at the table, looking him in the eyes.

“Okay, Barry, I’m gonna ask you something, and I need you to answer honestly. You really think we’ll be able to find her there?”

Barry rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. Honestly? He didn’t know _how_ to answer that question. Following vague instructions from a coin and hoping you get somewhere was one thing, bringing in other people on your unbelievable quest was another thing entirely.

“Listen, I’m not- I’m not sure I’m in the best position to answer that, considering I don’t even remember who she is? But I’m as sure as I can be, and one way or another, I’m going into that cave to search for her.”

“Then we’re coming with you,” said Magnus, with a small comforting smile.

“Okay, that’s great, but we’re still no further forward with the dwarf guys?”

“Don’t worry,” Lucretia assured him. “We got this.”

Barry watched as the two made it over to the dwarves’ table. All four of them were still arguing.

“We gotta wait a few more years, we can’t just-”

“-No, listen, I ain’t afraid of no orc-”

“-We’re not risking it all on-”

“-This is our birthright, it’s-”

“-A bad idea, it’ll get you killed just like Cyrus, and then what-”

“-It's our vault, our treasure, and we’re not letting ourselves be intimidated into keeping it locked up!”

Lucretia and Magnus pulled up chairs to the table, the dwarves settling into a stunned silence as they registered the intruders.

“You’re the ones on an expedition to Wave Echo Cave?” Lucretia asked.

The dwarves stared at her. Then at each other. Then one of them spoke.

“Maybe. What’s it to you?”

“Me and my associates here need safe passage through that cave. It seems like you know how. Now we’re not here for your treasure, you can keep whatever’s in the vault, but I’d recommend you let us join you.”

“I don’t need your recommendations, or your help. We don’t know you, we don’t trust you, so get out of here.”

“You hired Mr Bluejeans here as a bodyguard, if I understand correctly? Why not make it a trio?”

“The fewer outsiders who know the location of our vault the better. No thanks.”

Magnus leaned further forward, resting his arms on the table.

“Well, just a second, I don’t think we’ve all been introduced! My name is Magnus Burnsides, and I just so happen to be one of the best fighters you’ll ever meet. My friend here is a very accomplished spellcaster, so we’re getting down there one way or another. Also we’re taking Barry with us, so we can make this a trio of bodyguards and make sure you’ll be protected the whole way, or we can go on our own, and you can sit here with no one and _then_ rethink how well you trust us. Sound good?”

There was a moment of silence, and Barry almost thought that had worked. But then the dwarves stood up, one of them pulling an axe and pointing it in the direction of Magnus’ face. Magnus and Lucretia responded in kind, stepping backwards, staff and sword ready to defend.

This wasn’t what Barry wanted, he didn’t wanna cause a fight no matter who these people were, the quest was important, yes, but it wasn’t worth injury and maybe death, not needlessly like this.

“Wait, no, stop, can we not just take a step back and work something out here?” He asked, mostly at the dwarves.

“This one threatened our family, we can’t just let that stand! Stay out of it if you know what’s good for you.” The one with the axe said.

He looked at Magnus and Lucretia. They weren’t attacking, but gave him a look like _Well, what do you expect us to do?_

He didn’t have time to think this one through, they weren’t gonna stay in stalemate for long, and he didn't want anyone to get hurt. _What could he do?_ Maybe he could take these guys in a fight, maybe not, but that wouldn’t solve anything, just aggravate the situation.

He needed a way to _stop_ them fighting, something that wasn’t gonna _hurt_ anyone.

And then, before he knew it, there was black energy at his fingertips, enveloping all six of them. Everyone holding a weapon suddenly dropped it, staggering a little, and stared at Barry.

Okay, so… he could do that, he _guessed?_ Was there a reason the first spell he thought of was fucking _necromancy?_ Not typically the school of safely detaining people. Ray of Enfeeblement may actually be the only one that didn’t also deal necrotic damage. He had so many questions.

Wait, no, back on track. It was probably something he’d forgotten about. He’d get to it later. For now he was just concentrating on keeping this up.

When it looked like everyone had gotten the message, he let the spell drop.

“Hey, since when were you a spellcaster?” came the voice of Gundren Rockseeker.

“Since, uh… I mean, always I _guess?_ Or since right now? Depends on how you’re counting. It’s really complicated. But I trust these guys, so they’re coming too. Any questions?”

* * *

A day later, Lucretia found herself and her friends in the damp tunnels of Wave Echo Cave, being lead by one Gundren Rockseeker.

Wave Echo Cave was really nothing to write home about. For the most part it was empty, save a few weird mushrooms.

It was also dark, which was really making Lucretia miss having so many people with darkvision on her team. The dwarf leading their party was doing fine, but somehow, the IPRE side of their group was down to just team human. One of whom still didn’t remember they ever were a team, and was undoubtedly going along with this just to find Lup. Who he didn’t even remember. _Fuck._

Had Lucretia gotten anything right? What was even the point of erasing Lup, if Taako was still just as lost, and Barry had been searching for her the whole time? Was there anyone left whose life she hadn’t made worse?

No. She couldn't spend all her time blaming herself for that. She had made mistakes, yes, but she was fixing them. That’s what mattered. There would be a time for guilt after all this was solved. After her family was safe.

Barry had talked about a coin, leaving himself recorded messages, and Lucretia could guess how. Liches were immune to the voidfish, if he had died somehow, he’d be able to remember everything. Lucretia wasn’t sure how he could have died and then be standing in front of her now, let alone having done this multiple times, but knowing Barry, it was probably best not to ask.

They entered into a new chamber, much bigger than all the tunnels they’d been in before, lit with torches.

“Should be around here somewhere,” grunted Gundren as they walked in. “We’re entering the halls of my family.”

The end of the chamber had another set of doors, which led onto a tunnel, which led into another room, this with a huge vault door set into the wall.

Gundren headed straight for the vault, but Barry didn’t even seem to notice him, eyes fixed on something else across the room.

Lucretia followed his gaze, and... _oh._

Tucked away in the corner of the room, barely visible, lay a skeleton in a red robe. An IPRE uniform.

There was only one member of their team that could be.

Somehow, deep down, Lucretia had known it was pointless all along. When Lup hadn’t come back, when even Taako was starting to give up, she should have known back then. Maybe she did. Maybe that’s why she did this. Up until this moment, however, there had always been that spark of hope, that maybe one day they’d see Lup again.

But now, looking at the skeleton that had clearly lain here for years, her lich form nowhere in sight, and her Umbrastaff still at her side, Lucretia knew for sure. That meeting after the destruction of Cordelia, that had been the last time they’d ever be around her.

Barry slowly walked over to Lup’s body, staring solemnly down at the corpse in front of him.

"This is her, isn't it," he said softly. "This is who I've been looking for."

“I’m sorry, Barry.”

“It’s not your fault. If I couldn’t find her in all these years, it makes sense that there’d be a reason.”

Lucretia walked over to join him.

“No, I’m… I’m sorry you couldn’t find her earlier. Who knows what would have happened had fate gone differently, but that could well have been my fault. Your memories are, well, definitely my fault. If you want to come back with us, I promise you we can fix them.”

“Yeah, sure, I guess.” Barry sounded very defeated. “What else am I gonna do now?”

The Umbrastaff was still lying next to Lup. She wouldn’t have left it behind. If it was here, then she truly was gone. Lucretia moved to pick it up, but was repelled back by some force, a crackling energy that shot through the staff.

Maybe Lup had designed it that only she could wield it? But from what Lucretia remembered, Taako had had no problem using it in emergencies. Taako wasn’t here now, but maybe-

Barry didn’t need to be told. He wasn’t even looking at Lucretia, didn’t seem to realise she was there. Despite the fact that he didn’t remember, despite how Lucretia had just been so blatantly rejected by it, he reached for it, like searching for a piece of himself. Not taking a weapon, but recovering a memory.

There was a heavy tension in the air as his fist curled around the handle.

And then the room lit up with red light, emanating from the staff. An invisible wind picked up, surrounding Barry, crackling with red lightning.

And when it died down, Barry stood, unharmed, Umbrastaff in hand.

But as he pulled it from Lup’s body, the whole thing, skeleton, robe and all, disintegrated into dust.

“Shit, no, wait, I didn’t mean to- fuck, I-” Barry was looking around wildly, on the verge of panic, not knowing what to do.

It was hard, seeing it happen. Even if Lucretia knew she was already gone, even if they couldn't have brought Lup’s remains with them anyway, there was a finality to seeing them crumble away. _She is gone,_ the universe seemed to be saying. _And you’ll never get her back._

But it wasn’t Barry’s fault. Barry was the reason they found her at all, and the reason they at least still had her Umbrastaff.

“No, no, it’s… it’s fine. She was long gone anyway. At least we’ve still got some part of her left.”

“You’re sure I can keep this?” Barry asked, still staring down at the umbrella.

“Absolutely.” Lucretia replied with a small sad smile. “She would want you to.”

“What the fuck was that?” came the other voice in the room. Lucretia had almost forgotten Gundren was there. “I brought you along for defense, not to get all red and glowy!”

Barry didn’t seem to acknowledge him, still staring down at the umbrella in his hands.

“Uh… long story?” Magnus offered.

Gundren looked suspiciously at all of them, but said-

“Well, you can tell it later, I’m here to get this vault open.” And he pressed his hand to the door.

But as the gears started turning and the door swung open, the only thing inside was smooth black glass, a single gauntlet sitting in the middle, on the hand of a very charred, very dead dwarf.

Lucretia’s blood ran cold. She should have realised if Lup was here the gauntlet would be too. This could be about to go so horribly wrong-

“What the shit..?” Gundren muttered to himself, reaching for the gauntlet.

“No-” Magnus started.

“Wait-” Barry added.

“Don’t!” finished Lucretia, as all three of them in unison rushed forward to stop Gundren from grabbing it.

Gundren was closer than they were. They wouldn’t cross the distance in time. Before she had time to think about it, Lucretia waved her staff at the gauntlet, a shimmering white shield forming around it. Gundren’s hand bounced off of it before he could touch the relic.

She breathed a sigh of relief, and walked the last ten or so feet to where the gauntlet was.

It was unlikely to thrall her, but just to be safe, she threw her cloak around it and carefully dropped it in her bag. At least it would keep Gundren from it. Probably.

“Lady, what the fuck was that? What happened to my dad? And where’s my treasure?”

Speaking of…

Lucretia turned to face the dwarf.

“I’m sorry Mr Rockseeker, but both your treasure and your father are gone. This is, well, I won’t be able to tell you what it is, unfortunately. But it’s powerful, and not the kind of power you want for yourself. The kind that does nothing but destroy everything around it, including the person who attempts to wield it. I think our friend must have been here to get rid of it, and thought your vault was the safest place to lock it away.”

She didn’t mention that the gauntlet didn’t destroy on its own. If whoever killed Lup didn’t leave, but killed her for the item she carried, then they would have been here, with the gauntlet.  Lucretia wasn’t sure how the vault got sealed again after the fact, but it at least explained why everything else in this room had been glassed.

And, well, explaining to an angrier by the second dwarf that one of his family members was killed here by his own greed, and not any kind of heroic ideal, probably wasn’t the best idea.

“Yeah, and where’s this friend now? She owes me and my family a whole lot of gold.”

“She’s dead,” said Barry, with a strong air of finality. The tension in the air didn’t lift, but everyone stopped, as if unsure what to say.

Gundren was still looking between the remains of his father, and the bag in which Lucretia held the gauntlet. She found she didn’t want to be here when everything exploded.

“Time to get away?” She asked at Magnus and Barry.

“No arguments here,” Magnus said.

Barry looked up, as if only now processing the full extent of the situation.

“Uh, yeah, sounds good,” he said.

Lucretia took a moment to make sure Magnus and Barry were firm in her mind, closed her eyes, and cast teleport.

When she opened them she was staring at the familiar walls of the Miller labs.

“That could have gone better,” muttered Magnus.

“No doubt,” she replied.

“Okay,” she added, turning to Barry. “Let’s get those memories back to you.”

* * *

Barry's memories returned to him with a sense of familiarity, like he'd done this before.

And then he remembered that he had. All those years as a lich, over and over again, searching for- searching for _Lup_. He had her name now.

Her name, and so much more.

Their time at the academy, him still too scared to talk to her, appreciating from afar just how _amazing_ she was.

Being chosen on the same mission, her bouncing up to introduce herself - she’d always been so cheerful, so energetic, the optimist, no matter what.

Years spent studying together, learning and practicing magic and getting stronger, but also growing closer, learning how to be around her, learning to love her for the _person_ she was, and not the idol he’d seen her as.

The beach year, realising just how in love he was. Her realising it too.

Playing at Legato with her. Feeling the happiest he’d ever felt.

Becoming a lich, the years of research, months of decision, weeks of preparation. The one perfect day they spent together, knowing they’d need it to hang on to.

Her disappearance. Weeks of searching, of not sleeping, him and Taako barely holding each other together.

Finding her in that cave. Watching her crumble to dust. Whatever had happened to her, she was gone. Had been gone the whole time. Her Umbrastaff all he had left of her.

He hid his face in his free hand, swallowing down the urge to cry. Not letting go of the Umbrastaff.

“You doing alright?” Magnus asked.

“Does it make a difference if I say no?” Barry responded dryly. Or, as much as he could, with the pain of loss so clear in his voice.

“...Yeah. Yeah, that’s fair,” Magnus said quietly. “It probably doesn’t help much, but, we all miss her too, and you know, we’re here for you.”

...All.

Half their group was still missing, Barry realised.

“Where’s everyone else?” He asked suddenly, looking up at Magnus.

“Davenport is going to find and inoculate Merle, if Merle agrees they both should be back soon.”

“And Taako?” Barry prompted, feeling hints of anxiety start to creep into his stomach.

Magnus hesitated, biting his lip.

_“Magnus.”_

Magnus breathed out slowly.

“Okay. Yeah. You deserve to know. But fair warning, you might wanna sit down for this. It’s not gonna be fun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> list of plot points i had planned when i started this  
> -taako finds the philosopher's stone  
> -taako is sort of both the protagonist and the villain of this story  
> -barry gets the umbrastaff  
> -[spoilers redacted]
> 
> so yeah, i can't believe i've come this far, did not think it would take ten chapters to get to this point, but i also thought this would be like maybe 10k, not 30k and counting, which is still, unreal
> 
> also im gonna take another break from this next week, but seriously thanks to everyone who reads this, especially those one or two people who leave comments every week, you guys are the reason i do this
> 
> (and also bc angst is fun, but if i kept this to myself i would have written like maybe three scenes and then moved on)


	11. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bit shorter than usual, but this scene didn't really fit with either of the surrounding chapters, so it gets to be a chapter on its own

Davenport was, hmm. Still figuring things out, he reckoned.

There was a lot of that to do, after _Lucretia_ (no, don’t think about her, not right now) did what she did.

He didn't have time for a grudge, though. He had a mission, to get Merle back to the group. And it was easier to focus on the mission. He’d sure had plenty of practice. He’d been doing it his whole life.

Years of practice at the IPRE, being a good soldier, a good pilot, a good leader. More than that, being _exceptional,_ because they wouldn’t accept anything else. Especially from a gnome.

He was used to it, the expectation that gnomes were incapable of being serious, were tricksters and partiers and little else. But that didn’t mean he had to live with it. So he focused, he studied, he never made a mistake, because that’s what they were waiting for. He finally made Captain, got a ship of his own, a _mission_ of his own, and the best crew he could have asked for. They were the exploration team, entrusted with the light, they represented their whole planet, and Davenport represented them. A team of misfits and unlikely candidates, not the picture perfect team, but the _best_. Every one of them was there because they deserved it, despite what their planet saw in them.

There was a time when they were all he cared about. One hundred years where he could say, confidently, that he trusted them, an honour not often applied outside of his family.

He couldn't say that any more.

But no. He’d work through this when they were all out of danger. For now he had a mission, the first he’d had in years, and he was glad for it, even if that mission was basically just re-recruiting Merle.

He’d been the one to recruit Merle the first time, too. It was an unusual thing to have to do, at the IPRE, they had no shortage of applicants all year round, hundreds of people to pick from who’d more than earned their place. But this mission had needed Merle. Not as a biologist, no, they had plenty of those, with a much better work ethic than the old dwarf. But it wasn’t the work ethic they needed. This was a team full of competitive people, the best of the best. If they were gonna work together, they needed someone to keep them together. And it was the wisdom, the perspective, the calm quiet kindness that Merle provided.

Sure, he wasn’t the most outwardly nurturing person you could find, but he cared, and on many occasions, had been the one to keep the team together.

They could use a bit of that right now, he thought.

The whole glass ball/cannon system was fairly basic, and a far cry from flying the Starblaster, but once they input the coordinates before launching, it was easy enough to pilot to the town Merle had found himself in.

It seemed like a nice place, when he landed there. The kind of place Merle would have wanted to be. At least Lucretia got that right - the scenery was always changing. Waves lapped at the sand, shells and rocks and other beach detritus washing up on it. Further inland was a multitude of houses, and Davenport could see many people out and about, from the adults going about their daily business, to children playing in the streets.

He’d been able to get some information before he left - Merle was married to Hekuba Roughridge, they had a house here somewhere, though he didn’t know where.

He approached the first person he saw, probably a merchant judging by his large wagon of goods.

“Excuse me, I was wondering if you could tell me where to find Merle Highchurch?”

The dwarf stared at him suspiciously. Davenport understood, he was an outsider, and dwarves tended to be pretty insular. He wouldn’t give up that easily though, and just smiled, not breaking eye contact.

“What’s it to you?” The dwarf asked.

“I’m a friend of his.”

“Oh yeah?” He challenged. “Prove it.”

Davenport reached into his coat, pulling out a photo. It had been taken in one of their later cycles, on a world that had actually had cameras. Wait, fuck. This world didn’t. He quickly cast an illusion on the surface as he ran his fingers across it, turning it into a sketch as he passed it to the dwarf.

It was of all seven of them, one of the rare times they’d managed to get the light early on, with no sort of deadly danger. The rest years they all needed. But he and Merle were both prominently in it, standing at the front and smiling.

“Now do you believe me? I don’t mean you any harm, just trying to reconnect with an old friend.”

The dwarf took another long look at Davenport. Maybe he believed him, maybe he just believed no one would go to the effort of getting this made for someone they didn't care for. Either way, it must have worked, as he said-

“Yeah, alright. Highchurch is over to the west, big house, by the shore, can’t miss it.”

“Thanks.”

The Highchurch-Roughridge house was certainly one of the larger ones around, they couldn't have been doing too badly. Whatever life Merle had made for himself, it was one that gave him freedom and affluence.

Had Davenport made a mistake by coming here? If Merle was happy, should he be the one to ruin that, no matter what the situation? They’d all been through enough, they sure as hell deserved it.

He sighed. No, they needed everyone together. He couldn't go back on this now.

Which meant he should probably stop stalling outside the door and just knock on it. _Fuck._

Okay, no, he could do this. He didn’t become the captain of the first interplanar mission by avoiding things that made him nervous.

He knocked on the door.

It was opened by two dwarven children, a girl who looked around 8, and a boy who was a lot younger, maybe 3 or 4?

Were these, Merle’s kids? Davenport supposed it wouldn’t surprise him that much, Merle had always been very protective of their group, in his own way. He was pretty sure a lot of the kids on their mission saw him as a father figure. But this girl, if nothing else, seemed too old to be Merle’s. They had only been apart, what, six years?

“Uh, hello, yes, I’m looking for Merle Highchurch?” he asked in the general direction of the girl. She nodded, looking back down the hallway.

“Merle!” she called, presumably in the direction of wherever Merle was. Though, she probably wasn’t his child, if she was using his first name. The younger one, however-

“Daddy, Daddy, Daddy,” he said in a rush, bounding towards one of the rooms. “S’a gnome at the door for you!”

That one was pretty definitive. It was weird to think he was standing in front of Merle’s son. But before he had much time to contemplate it, in front of him appeared the man himself.

“Yeah, what can I do for you?”

“Well, that’s kind of a long story. Mind if I come in?”

* * *

Here’s what Davenport had learned so far. Hekuba was an unyielding woman, not unkind, but definitely someone you didn’t want to cross. Both of the children (Mavis and Mookie) were hers, though only Mookie was Merle’s. They had something of a family here, though it seemed a bit on the rocks, neither Merle nor Hekuba really wanted to be around each other. The kids were the only thing holding it together - Mavis had told him as much. She was a very perceptive eight year old, reminded Davenport of the bright eyed young scientists he used to greet every year back at the Institute. It was hard not to like her. And, even if she had no blood relation to Merle, she was family. Davenport had a feeling this wouldn’t be the last he saw of her, or any of them.

Merle, meanwhile, had taken to reclining in an armchair, smoking a pipe, and surveying Davenport carefully.

“So, what are you actually here for?” he asked eventually. “We’ve learned a lot about each other, but I’m failing to figure out what it is you want with me.”

Yeah, he had a point there. Davenport smiled ruefully to himself.

“Sorry, sorry. It’s a difficult topic to breach. Let’s put it this way - you are missing time. A lot of it. I’m guessing you can’t remember why you decided to come here, or what you were doing before then? It’s because someone stole your memories. I’d like to help you get them back.”

A long pause. Merle continued sizing up Davenport over the pipe.

“Let’s say I believe you - you the one that took ‘em?”

“ _No_ , gods no.” Davenport said in a hurry. “But we were close before you forgot. No one’s going to force you to leave the family you have here, but, well, your other family would like to have you back. We’re in a bit of a situation that could use your help.”

“Hmm.”

“Of course, if you’d like to come with us just for a few days, to understand the full scope of the situation, but then return, we’d understand. It’s up to you.”

Fuck, this was nerve wracking. The pitch itself, that was stuff he was used to, but this was _Merle._ He’d known him for, literally, over a century. It wasn’t a position he ever expected to find himself in, and the stakes were now higher than ever if he chose to say no.

Eventually though, Merle spoke up.

“Sure, yeah. Let’s get out of here.”

Davenport blinked at him in surprise. That was the answer he was hoping for, awesome, great. Just, after all Merle’s deliberation, he hadn’t thought it would be that easy.

“Yeah, okay, if you’re sure?”

“Wait, Daddy, you’re not leavin’?” spoke up Mookie from the floor. This was the most hesitant Davenport had heard him be, the toddler normally _too_ full of energy.

“Damn right you’re not,” came an angry voice from the kitchen. Hekuba walked in, drying her freshly washed hands on a tea towel. “I don’t care about your past, you’re not just taking off and leaving me to raise these two on my own!”

…And, he spoke too soon. It definitely wasn’t gonna be that easy.

“Oh stop being so dramatic,” Merle snapped back. “Not like you do much raisin’ of ‘em anyway.”

“I do more than you, you’re not even home half the time-”

“Great, you won’t even miss me!”

“No, we won’t! But you know what, one day the kids’ll grow up and realise that they could have had a father, he just didn’t care!”

The hostility in the room was so thick you could practically feel it, a physical force repelling everyone away. This was… so not what Davenport was intending to do by coming here. Did they really get into fights this easily? And as the outsider here, it wasn’t like he could easily interfere, not without causing more problems.

The thing was, it didn’t look like it was slowing down, either.

“I didn’t see you complaining when your family basically coerced me into marrying you!”

“Didn’t see _you_ complaining about getting your hands on our money!”

“Yeah, sure, make it all about that, because I’ve been nothing but a drain on this family, I forgot!”

“Hey, Merle?” Mavis interrupted softly, pulling on Merle’s shirt. “I think you should go with Davenport. It sounds important.”

Both parents stopped, looking down at Mavis. Merle seemed surprised, not sure how to respond. There was definitely concern evident in his features though - Mavis may not have been his biological daughter, but he cared about her.

“But what about you kids?” He asked. His voice was a lot kinder than it had been before.

“We’ll be fine. I know how to look after me and Mookie, and you don’t have to be gone forever, right?”

Merle paused, then smiled, leaning down to hug his step-daughter.

“Right, exactly. I’ll be back before you know it, sweetie.”

Mavis smiled at him.

“I know.”

She stepped back, going to stand by her brother. Hekuba huffed, and looked away, but gestured for them to leave.

Merle looked at Davenport expectantly, waiting for him to lead the way.

“I’m so sorry about this,” Davenport apologised as they walked back to where he’d left the transport sphere. “I didn’t mean to start a fight or drag you away from your family like that. I mean, it’s important, or I wouldn’t be here, but still, it doesn’t make it less my fault.”

“Nah, it’s not you. No one makes Merle Highchurch do anything he doesn’t want to. I’m coming with you ‘cause I got a good feeling about you, and I think that’s a feeling worth following.”

Even after all this time, he hadn’t really changed. Davenport had missed him so much.

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure.”

Davenport looked at him, and smiled.

“Then, Merle Highchurch, welcome back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you may have also noticed i actually have a final chapter count now! i actually sat down last night and tried to write out all the ideas in my head into an actual plan, chapters and all. so yeah, we're definitely over halfway through! (and unless i get another idea that derails me for another few chapters, which is not out of the question, we're looking at twenty chapters overall by ao3's count, or like, seventeen chapters two interludes and the prologue)
> 
> (i also def have sequel ideas but we'll talk about that a bit more when i actually get close to the ending XD)
> 
> one more chapter after this on the second 'arc' of this, then it goes into endgame stuff, but that's gonna be a pretty long stretch
> 
> still, i'm excited to get to it :D


	12. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND IT'S HERE
> 
> sorry about being late to this one, i have had A Week (and also this one kept fighting me and by that i mean i changed the structure of it like three big times and many small times)
> 
> but yes here is the lup i love her

It was lonely, in the Umbrastaff. That was the first thing Lup knew, as soon as she had the ability to know anything. She didn’t know how much time had passed, and even if there had been a way to measure it from inside the small room she now found herself in, too much had been lost before she could even manifest her consciousness, trapped as nothing but vague emotions inside the weapon she created.

And when she did finally manage to crawl her way back to some semblance of self, well, a part of her wished she hadn’t. She wasn’t the type to scare easily, a childhood of fending for herself and a century of escaping the hunger had seen to that. Fear was generated by having things to lose, and what did she have? Never a stable home, no permanent belongings. She’d only ever had Taako, and after that, the IPRE, who literally couldn't leave her. She’d been untouchable.

It was only now she was realising, she’d always been able to hang onto two things. Her family, and the certainty that if things got bad, they could leave. They could always leave. Go somewhere else, try something new.

But here? In this place? Brought down by her own hubris and having told no one where she went, she could feel the horror settling into her body like she had been carved from ice. Because now, she was trapped, and she was alone.

She tried to fight it, tried to burn it down. That had always been her first defense when she was scared. Fire was warmth, and power. It was a comfort as much as it was a weapon. But in that moment, raging against the walls of her prison, it was a terrifying force of destruction.

And it didn’t work. She could hit those black curtains with all the strength she had, and they remained untouched, while she was left defeated and exhausted.

She slept for a long time after that. Magic drained her too easily in this form, and using up her energy ate like acid at her consciousness.

When she woke, she still felt tired. For the first time ever, she didn’t want to fight. She just wanted her brother back.

Growing up, she’d never been away from Taako for more than a few hours, let alone however long it had been now. Definitely weeks. Maybe years. Even on the Starblaster, when he died and she didn’t, it was hell, but she knew he’d be back at the start of the next year. He was her comfort, her lifeblood, her heart. The only person who always knew what she was thinking and how to help. When she was hurt, her first instinct was to find him. When he was hurt, she felt as if she couldn't breathe.

She tried to imagine him being there, what he’d say. Probably that she didn’t need to panic, because she couldn't stay in there forever. Someone would eventually find her, if she hadn’t already broken herself out by then. Because the two of them were better than everyone, so really it was only a question of who would be faster, Taako finding her or Lup outsmarting the Umbrastaff. And then he’d do something ridiculous that would make her laugh.

She smiled. Maybe it helped, a little. Or maybe it was all just wishful thinking, and she’d made the biggest mistake of whatever was left of her life.

How were her family doing without her? Was Taako alright? If this was really how she had to spend the rest of eternity, she at least hoped that Taako would be able to move on, to do something with his life, and not just mope around the Starblaster until he gave up completely. He deserved at least that.

Days, months, years passed without any way to measure them. Just the slow drip of water in the cave outside, the occasional sound of a rat scuttling across the floor. Her body, never moving, only decaying, next to her. The room she was in, firm and never changing. It was hard to stay awake for that long. Meditating helped, gave her more energy, prevented her from falling back into the darkness. But the longer she went with no change, the more she wondered, what was even the point?

And then one day, she heard a noise, something much larger than a rat. Before she knew it, there was a dwarf entering the chamber, and behind him-

_Barry._ And Lucretia, and Magnus. _They had found her_.

She could hardly contain her excitement. Years of nothing, of hoping and praying her friends were okay, and now they were _here_ , she’d be back with them again. Just being in their presence made her feel so much better. They couldn't see her, didn’t know she was there, but right then it didn’t matter, everything she’d been hoping for, everything she’d never believed could happen had finally come true!

But then Barry came to kneel down beside her, and… wait. Wait, no, that wasn’t right. Did he not recognise her? He knew _about_ her, clearly, but he didn’t _know_ her. No no no no no, this was all wrong, Barry was supposed to know her, supposed to love her, like she loved him. What had happened to him?

Lucretia was apologising for his memories. Why Lucretia? What had she done? Why didn’t Barry _remember_ her?

Lucretia leaned down to collect the Umbrastaff and Lup instinctively recoiled. There was a sharp shock of electricity through the handle, and she pulled away, wincing. Okay, maybe Lup felt a bit bad about that, she hadn’t meant to hurt her. But _Barry_ was there, she needed Barry. Memories or not.

Barry just had to pick up the Umbrastaff, take it with them. He would, right? He wouldn’t leave it behind. Wouldn’t leave _her_ behind.

She needn’t have worried. Barry, as always, was there for her.

And when his hand finally closed around the handle, she felt more awake than she had in a long time. She hadn’t realised just how much being without an anchor had hurt her until she got him back. There was so much emotion at once, but it wasn’t overwhelming. It was her heart soaring, her life restarting, the world becoming less of a dream. If she concentrated, she could almost believe she was holding him. He was her love, her best friend, part of her soul. Her inspiration and her grounding. If there was anyone outside of her brother she trusted to carry her, to keep her sane, it was Barry.

He still thought she was dead, of course, and she hated seeing how much that hurt him. But it was temporary, it had to be, she’d figure something out. Now that she’d been found it was only a matter of time before someone could get her out of here.

But then Lucretia picked up the gauntlet. What was she _doing?_ The relics were bad, they had to get rid of them, Lup has _died_ to seal this one away, why was she taking it? Lup was so confused.

Her confusion only grew when they teleported away. This wasn’t the Starblaster. Lup had never been here before. This wasn’t how she thought this would go, what had happened to everyone? Were they okay? Had something happened? Was Lucretia even the same person? Were any of them?

What did this mean for Barry, for Taako? Lup needed them, her heart and soul, they had to be here, they had to be okay, this _wasn’t how it was supposed to happen, this-_

A crackle of electricity ran up the Umbrastaff, and she heard Barry hiss, pulling her out of her thoughts.

Shit. She hadn’t noticed how panicked she’d been getting. She needed to remember to control that, now more than ever. It wasn’t just herself she could hurt now, it was Barry.

So everything wasn’t like she expected. They’d manage. Maybe Lucretia had a plan, and it would all work out. And they lived on this plane now, Lup guessed it would be a bit weird to still live on a spaceship. She had her family again, and that was all that mattered. Everything was gonna be fine. She just needed to be patient.

...Somehow, patient was even harder when her family was right there. Being alone had been hell, but at least it had been consistent. There had been no promise it would ever get better, a feeling she was all too used to in her life. You just kept going, because you didn’t have anything else to do.

But now, having everyone so close, everything she’d wished for within reach but not quite there yet, it was more torturous than ever to wait.

Barry kept the Umbrastaff in hand the whole way to… wherever it was they were going. He didn’t remember her, but he would never leave her behind. She loved him so much.

The mystery was solved when they entered a room much bigger than the ones around it, with a giant glass tank in the center, containing an absolutely enormous galactic jellyfish. Fisher!

So the whole crew really was here. She hoped that meant she’d get to see the others soon. Particularly Taako. She’d missed all of them, of course, but there would never be a replacement for her brother.

Magnus seemed to be reaching for a flask of voidfish juice. Which, that was one mystery down. But Lup still didn’t get _why_ she had been erased in the first place. Even if they had thought she was gone for good, they still deserved to _remember_ her. She and Lucretia really needed to have a conversation.

It wasn’t important though. Well, it was, but they could figure it out later. Because now Barry would _remember her,_ and from there it wasn’t long before he’d figure out where she was, and they could work out a way to get her out. They worked so well together, and this was just another experiment, they could do it.

She had her anchor back. Well, one of them anyway. As long as he had a grip on the Umbrastaff, she had a grip on the world around her.

Wait, hang on, what was that? Was Barry okay? She’d expect his emotions to have shifted when he remembered, it was a lot to take in, and she knew he’d be hurt by her not being there. But she was feeling strong emotions coming off him, and it wasn’t just the pain she’d expected. That was there, but it was buried under layers of anxiety and concern.

She tried to focus her hearing outward again, pick up what Magnus was saying. She should never have let her perception slip, but she had been too focused on being reunited with Barry, it had drifted without her realising.

And then she heard her brother’s name, and her blood turned to ice. Magnus was saying things about Taako, about him getting his own relic, about him _killing people_ , and that didn’t make _sense._ Taako _wouldn’t do that_ , he was too strong to ever get thralled by anything, let alone something he _created_.

Her mind was racing and she couldn't slow it down. But through the haze of confusion and fear, two thoughts pushed their way to the surface.

Taako wasn’t here. And Taako might be in danger.

No, scratch that - if he already had a relic, Taako _was_ in danger.

As that sank in, she could feel cracks starting to form in her concentration. Having one anchor near seemed so trivial in the face of losing the other for good.

She needed Taako, and she needed him to be _okay._

Her consciousness was wavering, threatening to pull her under again. _No_ , she didn’t want to, she wanted to stay awake, to stay here, where there was Barry, where she knew what was going on. Even if she couldn't help from in here, she had to try.

But it was too much. She was still learning the ropes of this, and before she could try to stabilise herself, the broken pieces of her psyche overwhelmed her, dragging her down into darkness.

* * *

She woke this time to the sound of Barry’s voice.

The room was dark, but it was cosy, and for a moment she could believe it was just another day on the Starblaster with Barry by her side, the way he should be.

But then she remembered where she was. What had happened. And everything slotted back into focus.

The world was real, but it felt off, wrong. Taako was supposed to be here. Barry wasn’t supposed to be so broken. They had found their home, things were supposed to be _good._ But they weren’t. Everything was worse than ever.

And when she heard Barry start speaking, her heart broke all over again.

“So… I remember everything now. I mean, I remembered some stuff before, being a lich helped with that I guess, but I didn’t remember enough. Not enough to find you. Not enough to _help._ ” His voice was wavering, like he was trying not to cry. Perception was weird from in the Umbrastaff, but she didn’t need to fully feel or see to know he was gripping the staff as tightly as he could.

She never wanted to hurt him like this. He didn’t deserve to hurt like this. And while Lup wasn’t sure she deserved anything good anymore, it was a cruel god that would force her to watch this, but not be able to help.

“I’m sorry about that,” he continued. “ _Fuck_ , Lup, I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry I couldn't find you sooner, I was never supposed to leave you alone like that. But I failed, so, I guess all that’s left to do is deal with the consequences.”

Consequences..? Wait, if he was talking to her, did he know she was here? Had he figured it out? Yes, she knew he could do it, he was always there for her, if anyone could realise she wasn’t dead it was-

“I know it’s not actually you. Lup’s gone, I’m just talking to an umbrella. But this just, this helps, I guess.”

Oh. Wishful thinking.

Well, okay.

Back to square one, she guessed. It was _fine,_ they’d be okay. She’d find a way to let Barry know she was okay, together they’d figure out a way to get her out. That was what she had to concentrate on. Not how much Barry was _hurting_ and how Taako needed her _help_ and she never should have left, how she betrayed her promises to both of them that she’d never leave. She just had to act with her head for once, cut herself off from her emotions, they weren’t helping.

Taako had always been better at that than her. But she was on her own now. And if she didn’t want to stay that way, she had to be strong about this. Strong enough for Taako, and for Barry. Strong enough to reunite them.

* * *

The team sat down for a meeting when Davenport got back with Merle. The first they’d had since they decided to make the relics. All of them had changed so much.

Seeing everyone there, the family she’d been away from so long, was almost a relief. For someone else, it certainly could have been. But for Lup, it was just a sharp reminder of the one person missing.

The one person Lup couldn't live without, had never been without, until now. And the person she still needed some goddamn answers on.

Since Lucretia seemed to be the one with the answers, Lup hoped for her sake she started talking quickly.

“So… Okay,” she began, once they were all seated in what looked like the living room of a small apartment space. If someone had walked in on this meeting, they probably wouldn’t have guessed it was a meeting at all. But the Starblaster crew were plenty used to having world changing discussions in the most informal settings.

Lucretia took a deep breath, and kept going.

“I don’t need to tell you all why we’re here. And if you want to believe that’s my fault, you’re well within your rights to. I fucked up, I know I did. And I can understand if you’re mad at me.”

She sure got that right. Lup didn’t want to be mad at Lucretia, she loved her like a sister, but this was her _actual brother_.

“You can save the accusations for later, though, because right now we don’t have time. Taako is in danger, and we need to do something about it. We’ve already lost Lup-”

No, she was here, _she was right here!_

“-But the rest of us are together now, and Taako is one of us. We’re gonna bring him back, and we’re not letting anyone else get hurt.”

Lup punched at the walls of the Umbrastaff chamber. It wouldn’t do anything, she knew. It definitely wouldn’t get her out. But maybe it made things slightly better? At the very least, it was something to do, while everyone else took their time (too long, far too long, they needed to be fixing this _now_ ) figuring out how to proceed.

“So, what’s our first step?” asked Merle, after a pause.

“Do we even know where he is?” Barry added.

Did anyone? Did Lucretia know where he was, or was she just guessing? They needed concrete information.

“Lucretia, you’re the one who saw him last, any idea?” Magnus prompted.

“Uh, south, by the coast,” she answered. “But that doesn’t mean anything, he never stays in one plays long, and he’s perfectly capable of moving quickly and discreetly when he wants to.”

Lup could have found him. They’d grown up together, she knew more about Taako than anyone. Everything he knew about hiding, running, staying out of sight, they’d learned together. And, even if he didn’t remember right now, they’d also learned how to always find each other if separated.

But she couldn't. Because she was _stuck._

She took a moment to take a deep breath, try and center herself, channel her anger and frustration into something _useful_. Or, well, useful was a bit out of reach right now, but something non destructive at the very least. If she was gonna get her family back, be the glue holding them together, she had to stick to those resolutions, not fall apart at the first strong emotion.

“Have you been trying to find him?” Davenport asked tersely, tapping his fingers against the arm of his chair. Lup could feel his tension from across the room. “Or have you just been hoping it’ll all work out? For that matter, if he hadn’t started causing problems, would you ever have inoculated us? Or did you think it was fine, how we were, as long as we weren’t getting in your way?”

Lucretia sighed.

“What do you want me to say, Davenport?” She didn’t look angry, just defeated. “I know I made mistakes. And I’m sorry. If I can’t make up for that, then maybe I can help to fix it. That’s all I’m trying to do.”

“When did you decide you had to do everything yourself?” he asked angrily. “That you ever had the right to make those kind of decisions? You’re still here acting like our leader, when last I checked, I was still the _Captain._ ”

“I’m the one with the information, the connections, you need my help,” she countered, clearly on the defensive now.

“You only have it because you decided we couldn't be trusted with it! What if we decide you can’t be trusted on this?”

No, _stop_ , they needed to stay on track, not fight! They needed to save him, they were wasting time, Taako was out there and he was alone and he _needed_ them, they had to stop, had to stop, _had to stop-_

Before she could stop it, a fire bolt shot out of the end of the Umbrastaff, scorching a hole into the carpet in the middle of the group.

The effect on the room was immediate, sending everyone into shocked silence.

Lup included.

She… hadn’t meant to cast that. She’d been getting too worked up. _Control,_ Lup, it was more important than ever. She didn’t have a choice, if she couldn't get a handle on this, people were gonna get even more hurt.

It was Barry’s voice that broke the hush permeating the room.

“I… I didn’t do that,” he said shakily. “I have no idea how that happened.”

“Could be an enchantment,” Merle offered. “Kid was always into fire and all that, maybe it’s s’posed to enhance her spells?”

“Or it could be responding to you,” Magnus added. “Lup was all act first ask questions later, it might just be a very intuitive focus.”

“Either way, if it’s that volatile, maybe you shouldn’t be carrying it?”

No, no, _please,_ don’t take her from Barry! Barry, don’t put the staff down, don’t listen to them! Lup needed to be with them, to be a part of this, she-

“I’m not leaving it behind.”

Thank all the gods for Barry J. Bluejeans.

She could still feel the tension in the room, tell not everyone was happy with that decision. But they understood well enough not to question it further.

“Okay,” Magnus said. “So what now?”

“Well, we still need a way to track him,” Lucretia offered hesitantly. “But if you’d all rather I stepped back, then I guess that one’s not up to me.”

“Well, you were right about one thing, you still know more about this than any of us. And we need all the information we can get. If he’s been causing all these problems, haven’t other people have noticed?” Magnus asked.

“They have, and I have some contacts who’ve seen him. There’s also reports by local militias we could dig through. But unfortunately, not many of the people who’ve seen him are still alive.”

“Where’s the latest report of murder by crystal?” asked Davenport.

“I haven’t had a chance to look through everything yet, there might be more I’m unaware of. All the reports I have access to are in my study, I can go get them?”

“No point wasting time, we’ll come with you.”

Lup hated being in the study. Everyone else was busy with reports and letters, looking for something, and she was stuck here, useless. She couldn't read the reports, couldn't see well enough outside.

The only thing she _could_ really _see_ was the inside of the Umbrastaff, everything else was… more abstract? She could hear their conversation, the shuffling of paper, and if she focused, she might get a vision of the room, but it was more like a memory, something in her mind’s eye. Nothing accurate enough to pick out words on a page.

“Wait, what’s this one?” came Magnus’ voice. And then, soon after, “Holy shit.”

Lup could tell everyone was crowding around it. What had happened? Please, someone, say it out loud!

“He did that?” Barry asked, voice low in disbelief and horror. Not helping, Bar.

“It looks like it, yeah.” Magnus answered.

What was it? What did he _do_ _?_

If they weren’t going to tell her, she had to find a way to read that report. Maybe now she knew which one, she might be able to? It wasn’t too far away, and that helped. She just had to concentrate.

From within her small curtained chamber, she sat, and she meditated. Tried to block out everything in the Umbrastaff, just see that piece of paper in her mind, as clearly as possible. Shut out the room she hated, ignore that she was in it at all. She was in the study with the others, holding the piece of paper. She just had to get close enough to read the words.

Reading was easy. She could do it in nearly ten different languages. They were just words, and words she was good at. No problem. Just relax, and let them form on the page.

They didn’t come to the surface all at once. The page almost seemed to ripple, patches of shifting clarity amidst the blurriness.

Just ordinary words at first. And then she could see more. And then she could see the words that _mattered._

She saw militia and transmutation and pink tourmaline, but that wasn’t what stood out. It wasn’t even the way whoever wrote it was clearly angry, someone who would be going after her brother. No, what caught Lup’s eye was the number of people. And that shocked her enough to break her out of the meditation.

This wasn’t in self defense. Or even for revenge. He did this just because he _could._

It felt like a betrayal just to say so, but Taako didn’t just need to be saved.

He needed to be stopped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so since this one was only finished just now and i've barely started next week's, i've kind of thrown off my schedule a bit, i'll try to get next week's up on wednesday as usual but if i can't do that it'll be whenever i finish it
> 
> either way ch12's an important one so im gonna take longer with that, so there's gonna be a missing week in here somewhere but that one will def get back to the wednesday schedule


	13. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man, been a while since we saw taako, huh? about 35 pages and 14000 words, according to my gdocs file (which is now in two parts bc it got over 100 pages so, thats fun)
> 
> that's definitely gonna be the last time we go that long without seeing anyone, im basically done introducing characters
> 
> but here's a bit of a check in with everyone before we move onto chapter 12, aka The Good Stuff, aka End of Arc Two
> 
> (and it's all endgame from there on out)
> 
> (also sorry this took forever my life has taken a lot of weird turns lately and update schedules are the first to fall by the wayside. also i kept adding extra sections onto this chapter bc i'd think "hey we haven't heard from [character] yet, what are they up to?". and then before i knew it this short chapter was over 4k. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯)

Westerloch Militia Captain’s Log, November 3rd.

There’s no easy way to put this - we need help. Whatever it is we’re dealing with, it’s capable of wiping out an entire squad in minutes.

It started as a simple murder, a case of someone being turned to crystal in a town up north. Unusual, perhaps, but not unheard of when you deal regularly with spellcasters. An elf, according to witnesses, with eyes that glow, or shine like gemstones. I don’t know enough about magic to know what that means, but I’m sure it’s not good.

It wasn’t even our jurisdiction at first, but as he made his way through the continent, leaving death and ruin in his wake, we became the largest militia left. So we took on the job. And failed like everybody else.

He should have been apprehendable. We have spellcasters of our own, and they’re good at their job. But up until recently, he hadn’t even been _trackable_. Whoever he is, he knows how to hide. We can follow the trail of destruction, of course, but we always show up too late.

And then we found him. And I’m starting to think we made a mistake by taking on this case at all. I led a squad into the fields and woods outside the city, on a tip from two kids (fine now, we’re taking care of them, what’s left of us) that they’d seen our perpetrator there.

We thought we’d had him surrounded, nowhere to run. We had spellcasters ready in case he tried anything. But before we knew it, he’d just vanished. And then came the crystal, creeping from the trees, encircling the squad. When it had us trapped, it raced inwards, killing anyone it touched. Horrifically, too, spreading up their body like an infection, leaving them as a solid pink statue. All with no sign of the wizard himself.

Only four of us got away, myself included. We lost an _entire squad._

This is an epidemic. How do we fight someone with the power to kill that many people, spellcasters included, in seconds?

We’re bringing in reinforcements where we can, but it won’t be enough. The next time he resurfaces, people are going to die.

No. People have already been dying. They are relying on us to protect them. And as the Captain, I have to consider them first.

I’m officially taking arrest orders off the table. When we next encounter this criminal, we aim to kill.

* * *

Taako was missing time. Flashes, over the past few days, where he didn’t know where he’d been, what he’d been doing. Parts of his memory that had simply stopped existing.

But it was okay. He didn’t have anything to worry about now. He didn’t have anything to worry about ever again.

He had the stone, and he knew what his plan was. Nothing else mattered. If anyone got in his way, well, they wouldn’t be in his way very long.

The first step had been finding the next big city. It hadn’t taken long to find one, travelling was what he did. He didn’t know which city this was, but he didn’t care. All that mattered was that it had _people._ As many as possible in one place. All here to watch the show.

And there _would_ be a show. He and the stone had access to _power_ , real power, the kind most people never dreamed of. It was everything he deserved, finally his.

He stopped in the middle of the town square. No one even noticed, too busy bustling around with whatever menial tasks their mundane lives required. They’d notice him soon enough.

He cast thaumaturgy on his voice, but amplified the spell, so his voice could be heard across the entire town.

“It’s your lucky day, people! In fact, everyone here has earned front row seats to the event of the century!”

Everyone stopped what they were doing, trying to find the source of the voice.

Taako continued. “Lemme tell you about the most powerful being in existence - that’s right, it’s me - anyway, I’m here to get the word out about that and, well, this seems like a good place to start.”

He paused, revelling in the shocked silence. And then he grinned.

“Don’t believe me? Watch _this.”_

And Taako, stone in hand, threw his fist up into the air. The air around it seemed to ripple, a pulse spreading outwards from his closed fingers. As it did, it took the town with it, leaving the people intact, but turning every solid object into gold. As it reached the city limits, it turned and started moving upwards, enclosing the entire city in a shimmering white opaque dome.

Nothing made it through the barrier, but the inside wasn’t dark, instead seeming to glow with its own internal light.

But he wasn’t done there. Now he had the raw materials, he started shaping them, building the town square up from nothing special into his own personal court, complete with golden throne.

There were gasps from the crowd, some screams, people scared and outraged, but Taako let it wash over him. They’d realise, in time, that this was an honour.

On his way up the steps, he caught sight of his reflection in the polished metal. His eyes were no longer just glowing, but crystallised, like clusters of diamond and gold. Small gold filaments were reaching out from his eyes along his cheeks, like cracks in his skin that had been filled up with it.

He stared for a moment.

Something was wrong, no, he wasn’t supposed to look like that, what was even happening? Where _was_ he? And, _gods,_ why did his head hurt..?

Something moved behind him. Without thinking, he whipped around, guarding himself against whoever was approaching. But before they could attack him, his outstretched hand brushed against their arm, and in a second, they too had turned to gold.

Taako stood there for a moment, breathing heavily. He still didn’t really get what he was seeing, what was happening.

But the more he tried to concentrate on it, the more his concerns just faded from his mind.

What was he just doing?

Oh yeah, his reflection. He liked it. It was pretty, made him stand out from everyone else. It suited him.

He reached the top of the steps and sat in his newly made throne, looking out across the city that was his, all the people who now knew his greatness.

With the enchantment still on his voice, he spoke one more time.

_“My name is Taako, and you work for me now.”_

* * *

Westerloch Militia Captain’s Log, November 5th.

Our target has taken up residence in the city of Falconhurst. At least, we presume. We don’t actually know, because the whole place is covered in some damn dome, and we can’t get through.

We’ve got our arcanists looking at it, but none of them can tell us what the fuck it’s made of. Or how he even put it up in the first place. Their best guess is some kind of abjuration spell, but they say it’ll take time for them to know for sure, and even longer to be able to get through.

So for now we’re stuck. I’ve got men patrolling the edges of the dome at all times, but what good is that doing anyone? We don’t know what he’s doing in there, if the town is alright, if any of them can even breathe.

But we know this for sure - whoever is still alive in there is utterly dependent on this rogue wizard for their survival. With no way in or out, he controls the food, the water, even the air supply.

He’s holding their lives hostage. And we can’t negotiate with no way in and no idea what he wants.

I’m at a loss for what to do. Militia forces seem so absurdly ineffective compared to this person, whoever they are.

We’re here, and we’re waiting. If anything changes, we’ll be ready. But for now, we just have to sit here and hope that something will. And make sure that this criminal never gets a chance to escape.

* * *

Barry weighed the Umbrastaff in his hands. It felt, weird, to be using Lup’s weapon. He’d had nine years of watching it never leave her side, before it was gone, and so was she. And now it was all he had left of her, and he knew she’d want it to go to him or Taako, but something about it still felt strange.

Still, it was the most powerful focus he’d ever encountered. And they needed all the power they could get. So here he was, reminding himself of everything he’d learned during their century long journey, all the spells Lucretia had erased from his memory. Of which there were a lot. Most human wizards never got this powerful, they just didn't have the time. But he’d had all the time in the world.

It was morbidly fascinating, what he’d remembered and what he hadn’t. How Fisher had taken his conscious memory, but the subconscious was still there, as well as the muscle memory. The magic and the fight training and everything he’d picked up over those one hundred years, all compacted and buried into his instincts. Was that because he was a lich, had had that residual memory? Or just because that was how voidfish worked? There was still so much about voidfish they didn’t know, but there were very few opportunities to test anything out without hurting people, or Fisher. So they had to just make do.

And for that, he was here, in the room they’d set aside for training purposes, re-familiarising himself with his magic.

But first, there was something he had to check. He cast a quick Fire Bolt at a training dummy he’d conjured. It hit it, as it was supposed to, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Not out of his control and definitely not enhanced. So whatever that had been before must have been a fluke. He hoped, anyway. He needed to be able to rely on his focus, and he really didn’t want to give up the Umbrastaff.

He tried something more in his purview, directing a Blight at the dummy.

It crumpled as expected, but… gods, it felt _weird_ to be using the Umbrastaff for necromancy. Not that Lup hadn’t known any, after so long together they’d all sort of picked up each others specialisations. But it just hammered home that Lup wasn’t here, that he was using the staff now not because he was borrowing it, but because if he didn’t take it no one would.

And he was practicing because he needed to fight, for the first time with all his memories intact, without Lup by his side.

He tried not to think about why he was practicing. Who he planned to use these against. Ideally, they could talk Taako down from this, they wouldn’t have to fight him. But Barry knew all too well the effect of the relics. No one wanted to say it, but there was no guarantee Taako was still there at all.

How had everything fallen apart so easily? It was easy to blame Lucretia, but really, it was Lup who caused the first schism when she left them. Or maybe that had happened when they made the relics. Or when they’d first discussed how to take down the hunger. It was hard to pin it down to any one moment, every decision they made leading them to this. And it was something that weighed on him constantly. Even if they managed to defeat the hunger for good, would any of them be left to celebrate it? Their family was broken. The love of his life was gone, most likely dead. And now, unless Barry could find the courage to help fight, maybe kill, the elf who had been a brother to him for decades, this whole world might be lost. Again.

He couldn't help but think back to their celebration party seven years ago. Well, celebration in the loosest sense of the word. If anything, it had felt more like a funeral, for all the planes they’d failed to save, and all the people their relics had hurt. He’d asked Taako how he stopped feeling guilty over that, and Taako had told him how he’d never cared about this world, had felt like he’d lost the ability to care. The only things that had mattered to him were the Starblaster and its crew.

If Lucretia had wiped his memory of them, of their journey, of _Lup,_ what was left? No wonder he’d been so easily captivated by the stone. This wasn’t just a battle to convince Taako to give up the stone. This was a battle to convince Taako that anything on this world was _worth it._ And whether any of them had the ability to do that remained to be seen.

* * *

More often than not lately, Magnus was finding himself in Fisher’s chamber.

It helped, being near them. The voidfish was his friend, after all, and a good listener if he ever wanted to talk. Or if he didn’t, Fisher could sing and Magnus could sit there and carve something and try not to think about everything.

This time, he had a gift for Fisher, for the first time in a long time.

“Hey buddy!” he said, holding up the small wooden duck he’d been working on in his downtime the past few days. “Got something for you!”

Fisher lit up at the sight - literally - swirling around the tank. Magnus wasn’t sure why Fisher loved the ducks so much, but they’d never not been happy to have one.

He dropped the duck into the tank, then sat down next to it, pulling out his carving tools and starting on another duck. They were easy to make, a good way to stay busy, and Fisher seemed to love them.

“So, how have you been these past few years, buddy?” Magnus asked. “Do anything interesting?”

Fisher didn’t really have a good way to respond, but from the way they were floating around lazily Magnus was kinda getting the picture they’d been there for a while.

“Yeah, okay, I see your point,” he said. “But really we gotta get you out of this tank at some point, go on some adventures, like we used to! I miss having outings with my fish buddy.”

Fisher put a tendril up against the tank in a gesture of _I missed you too._

“You wanna hear about what I was doing?”

Fisher waited patiently for him to start speaking. Magnus took that as a yes.

“So, I’ve told you some of this already, but I met the most amazing people ever.” He smiled to himself. They really had been the most amazing people ever.

He wasn’t sure if talking about it helped, or if it was just gonna keep hurting, but he needed to talk about them. He didn’t want to risk forgetting.

“So when I left you guys, I ended up in Raven’s Roost, which is this big town that’s all suspended in the air on pillars? It’s a really pretty place. And there I met lots of other woodcarvers - people who could also make you ducks like that one!” He gestured to the duck Fisher was playing with.

“But the most important ones were a girl, Julia, and her dad, Steven. And they were my family.”

Some of the lights in Fisher’s bell dimmed.

“No, no, not replacing you guys.” Magnus assured them. “But they were there, when I didn't have anyone. Steven was a really great guy, he taught me a lot of new things about wood carving. And, he was kinda like a dad to me I guess?”

He would have loved Fisher. And the rest of the crew. It was the worst kind of irony that his two families would never get to meet.

“And Julia, you would have loved her. Everyone did. She was so wonderful. I don’t even have the words for it, buddy, she’d just come into a room and it was like everyone in that room was happier because she was there, you could feel it. I loved her so much.”

He could feel the tears welling up behind his eyes. It was hard to admit she was gone. Magnus didn’t want to think it. He missed her so much. At least here, talking to Fisher, he could almost believe that he was just on another trip. That Raven’s Roost was still there waiting for him when he got back. Julia too.

“I made some ducks for her too, you know,” he said, holding up his half finished one. “I didn’t remember at the time that I’d first started making them on Legato, though. Didn’t remember meeting you, either.”

If it was possibly for a galactic jellyfish with no discernible facial features to look guilty, Fisher was managing it. Magnus switched his tone to a more reassuring one, he didn’t blame Fisher for any of this.

“Nah, it’s okay buddy, it wasn’t your fault.”

Fisher drew a smiley face on the glass wall of the tank. Magnus smiled. That was one of the things they’d spent a while doing back on the Starblaster, him teaching Fisher new ways to communicate when singing didn’t work. Smiley faces were one of Fisher’s favourites, and Magnus had encouraged it ‘cause it made everyone laugh. They could probably use some more of that now.

“I made lots of things for her,” he continued. “And she made some really cool things for me. And these…” He paused, fidgeting with the wedding ring on his finger. “We made these together. They were special, y’know?”

He wiped his eyes, sniffling a bit. Making the rings with Julia had been one of the best experiences of his life. They’d been so happy, so excited for this. He always loved working with her, just being with her. But now there was a hole in his heart he didn’t know how to fill.

“How did you feel?” he asked Fisher. “Leaving the other voidfish behind on Legato? Did that hurt like this does? If it did, I’m sorry. I didn’t really get it then. I thought all that mattered was protecting whoever I could. I’m glad I saved you, but... I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.”

Fisher didn’t respond. Magnus sat there for a moment, trying to pull himself together.

“We’re going to find Taako soon. You remember Taako, right? The elf with the twin sister? Kept trying to make you food before we figured out you ate books and stuff?”

Fisher added a hat to the face on the tank wall.

“Yeah, that’s him,” Magnus confirmed through a half laugh. He turned to face the tank properly, looking up at the voidfish floating within it.

“Hey, you like, know a lot of things, right? Do you… do you think everything’s gonna be okay?”

From what Magnus could tell, Fisher didn’t really know how to respond to that. Which, yeah, Magnus could understand that.

He didn’t either.

* * *

Matching reports to locations, trying to manually find someone who was blocking his position from divination spells was tough work. Especially when everything they’d found so far was difficult to think about. And also a good two days old. Whatever Taako had been doing lately, whatever he was doing right now, no one could find any word on it.

When they’d sorted through everything relevant, it was just a matter of connecting that information to a map, Lucretia had dismissed everyone, saying she worked better on this stuff alone, which wasn’t a lie. Davenport, though, had refused to leave, for multiple reasons, but primarily that he was their most skilled navigator, and also he didn’t trust her anymore. So there was that.

She probably deserved that. She didn’t know what to do about it though. Which was leaving the atmosphere in the room more than a little awkward.

“Are we… do you wanna talk about what happened earlier?” She offered, looking over at Davenport.

He didn’t look up from his maps.

“I don’t have anything to say to you,” he said curtly.

Well, she could think of a few things that might be on his mind...

“That wasn’t the case during the meeting,” she reminded him.

Davenport stopped, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Look, I’m sorry for how I acted, for getting us off track, that was immature of me. But I’m not sorry for what I said.”

“...I’m sorry.”

“I don’t care, Lucretia. Maybe you had your reasons. Maybe you just didn’t trust us. It doesn’t change the fact that you shouldn’t have done that. Everything that you did was unforgivable, and I just can’t trust you anymore. So I’ll work with you because I need to, but when this is over, I don’t want anything to do with you.”

She could understand that. She didn't like what she’d had to do either. And maybe, in a world where they were all safe, she could come to terms with that. But there was one thing weighing too heavily on her mind.

“What if it’s never over?”

“What are you talking about?”

“So we save Taako. Then what? The relics are still out there. The _hunger’s_ still out there, somewhere. We’re living in the eye of the storm. Eventually it’s gonna catch up with us. I did what I did because this is still our responsibility.” She paused. “...And I was hoping it wouldn’t have to be yours as well.”

“That was never your choice to _make_ _._ We don’t do these things alone, you know that. If we have to leave, then we leave.” He sighed. “All of us know that one day we might be the only seven people left in existence. But until that future happens, we keep trying to prevent it. And how do we handle that?”

She stopped, looking at him. Davenport was right, this wasn’t the first time they’d had this conversation. When you spent a hundred years being hunted, everyone needed some help coping with that after a while. It never helped to dwell too much on the future. Plan for it, yes, but accept when it was out of your hands. And when that happened, there was only one way to keep living your life.

She could almost hear Davenport’s voice in her head as she answered.

“...One step at a time.”

“Exactly. We find Taako. And we sort the rest of this out after.”

Before Lucretia could come up with any kind of good response, her stone of farspeech began ringing. Still mulling over everything Davenport had said, she answered it.

“Hey, boss?” came the voice of Alina through the stone.

“I’m here, what’s happened?”

“Been near Falconhurst lately? Big city over by Wayfield?

“No, why?”

“Because you’re gonna wanna see this.”

Curse the nature of all her employees to never just get to the point.

“Just tell me what happened.”

“I would, if I could explain it? But this is something you need to see for yourself.”

And then the call hang up.

“Great. That was helpful,” said Lucretia, at the now silent stone.

“Really doing great on the whole commanding thing, aren’t you,” added Davenport. …Yeah, okay, she deserved that one.

Still, if Alina thought it was important, it probably was.

Davenport seemed to agree. “You got anyone here who can do divination magic?” he asked.

“I do, but there’s no need. Viewing a location isn’t anywhere near as complicated as tracking a person, I can manage that myself.”

It was fairly easy to get all the components set up for the spell, then all that mattered was concentrating on the location. Lucretia may not have been there recently, but she had been there, she knew where it was, and that made it all the easier.

“Is that what the town looks like currently?” Davenport asked, after a few minutes.

Lucretia opened her eyes. Sure enough, floating in front of her was the image of a town. Or, well, what used to be a town?

“...Yeah.” Lucretia confirmed.

“But we can’t see it.”

None of them had ever seen anything like it. The entire town seemed to be encased in some kind of opaque dome.

“Yes, that would appear to be the case.”

“What is he _doing? ”_

Lucretia shook her head.

“This isn’t him. This is the relic. You know what they’re capable of. All this means is we need to get there, fast.”

“Yeah.” Davenport agreed. “Go let everyone else know. We’re leaving in an hour.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i swear making up random place names is like half of what i do here
> 
> [Edit - i have art now of crystal eyes taako, im not gonna stick it in the fic itself 'cause i know not everyone has the same headcanons as me and i'd rather paint you guys a word picture you like than an actual picture you don't, but if anyone's interested in seeing the image i've been working off, [ here ](https://ata-art.tumblr.com/post/173761322747/so-many-people-thought-my-description-of-taako-in))


	14. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... i was gonna wait until later today to post this
> 
> but it feels like forever since i updated and also i have approximately zero patience when im excited for a thing
> 
> so yay have chapter~~~

Approaching the town was more terrifying than any of them expected it to be. Even for Lucretia, who’d already had an encounter with thrall Taako, albeit a much less tense one. Or maybe that was making this worse. She wasn’t sure. It was one thing to plan for this happening, and quite another to actually be here. So much about this could go wrong. And if the tension permeating the air was anything to go by, that thought had occurred to every single one of them.

The militia members swarming around outside the dome didn’t help either. Lucretia had no doubt they could get past them if they really wanted to, but no one wanted to resort to that. They didn’t need to be making any more enemies on this plane than they already had.

So here they were, hiding in the foliage outside the city, waiting for someone to figure out a way past all the armed guards and to the dome. And, you know, how to get through _that._

“Could they help us?” Magnus asked, after a moment. “They’re here for the same reason.”

“I wouldn’t risk it,” Lucretia replied. “They’re an unknown variable here, either we risk hurting Taako or we risk getting them hurt.”

The fewer people involved, the better. Honestly, given the choice, Lucretia would have rathered do this alone. But this crew was her family, they could help, she needed to remember that. And it wasn’t like she could have ever convinced a single one of them to stay behind, anyway.

But the militia, they didn’t need to be here. They might need the militia’s help on this eventually, but for now, while it was still avoidable, she would do everything in her power to avoid it.

“If we can’t let them know we’re here, then we need another way around,” Davenport said. “I can cast invisibility on us, that should let us sneak past if we’re careful, but it still leaves us with no way through that dome.”

In person, the dome was even more intimidating. Opaque, white, stretching higher than anyone could see, and subtly moving in a way that made it seem almost alive. No visible way in or out.

“I mean, presumably it’s transmuted, right?” Barry said, eventually. “We may not know what it’s made of but we know what caused it. Relics don’t really _do_ magic outside of their school. So all we’d need to do is reverse the transmutation.”

“Easier said than done,” Merle muttered under his breath. Lucretia agreed. Trying to outmatch a relic user in their own school was impossible enough, but in the hands of someone who was already a transmutation master? They didn’t stand a chance.

Barry shook his head.

“No, you’re not getting what I’m saying. In a direct transmutation battle, yeah, Taako could kick all our asses, especially armed with the stone. And we probably can’t get that dome down either. But who knows what’s going on inside? Isn’t it possible he just threw this up to keep the militia out, and isn’t actively maintaining it? I think if that’s the case I could try and transmute enough of it back for us to get through.”

“I can help,” Lucretia offered. “I’m not a transmutation specialist, but I know my way around it, and we need all hands on deck here.”

It was a solid enough plan. Barry and Lucretia handling the dome. Davenport for cover. And Magnus and Merle if they needed protection or support. After a beat, Davenport nodded his agreement.

“Okay,” he said. “Let’s go.”

He waved his hand, and an iridescent sheen washed over the five of them, before they disappeared from view entirely.

Moving in unison through a field of militia members while no one could see anyone? Surprisingly difficult. They were lucky they still worked in sync, or they never would have managed it. As it was, they had a few near misses, but eventually made it to the surface of the dome.

“Hey, Cap’n’port?” Barry asked. “Now we’re here, anything you can do so we can see each other? I’m thinking sight might be useful for this next part.”

They couldn't see Davenport to see his reaction, but he must have agreed, because a moment later the illusion shifted, and the five of them reappeared.

“And we’re still invisible to the outside world?” Lucretia asked.

Davenport gave her an affronted look.

“What do I look like, an amateur? Everything inside our bubble is hidden, as long as no militia members walk right into us, we’ll be fine.”

Barry nodded, and reached down to grab a branch that was lying on the ground, hesitantly poking at the side of the dome with it.

“What?” he asked, when they all looked at him. “I’m not just gonna _touch_ it with my _hand,_ not before I know it’s not gonna burn me up or something. Who knows what kinda defenses Taako put on this thing?”

Satisfied the dome was not about to kill him, Barry moved in closer and pressed his hands against it, closing his eyes as he searched for something.

“Here.” Barry said after a moment, gesturing to a section of the dome. “It may be spherical, but the structure inside is crystalline, makes it stronger. Unfortunately for us, that means we gotta be careful where we aim. If we focus our efforts on this spot it should open up enough of the wall for us to get through. But there’s a lot of power flowing through it. It might only hold for as long as we’re casting the spell.”

“So we just need to be quick about it.” Lucretia clarified.

Barry nodded. “Yeah, exactly. And not stop focusing on it ‘til everyone’s inside.”

Seemed simple enough. Easy might be another story, but they’d worry about that if and when it happened.

She joined Barry at the dome, focusing her energy into it, sensing each individual molecule.

Barry was right, she could feel the power running through it. Normally, they’d have the advantage here, transmuting something back to its original state was far easier than the initial transmutation. But she guessed different rules were in play when you were dealing with a grand relic.

“Okay, we’re all through!” Davenport called after a beat, letting them know they could break the enchantment.

She looked at Barry, who nodded, and prepared to keep it open while she went through. She could do the same for him from the other side.

“Hey!” came a shout from off to their right, and Lucretia turned to see a militia member racing towards them. Whether or not he could see them, she wasn’t sure, but he could definitely see the hole they were making in the dome.

“Shit, close it, close it!” shouted Barry, dropping his end of the spell. Lucretia dropped hers and the two of them raced inside, just in time to watch the bubble seal up behind them.

“Well, that confirms that,” Barry added as an afterthought.

They turned to join the others, and for the first time, saw what Taako had done to the city.

It was darker in here than outside, if not by much. But something about it felt wrong, more artificial. Whatever it was lighting the inside of the dome, it wasn’t sunlight.

At least everything was visible. The opacity of the dome could have left them in complete darkness. But, as they looked around, Lucretia wondered if that might have been the better option.

The entire place was eerily silent. If anyone in this town was still alive, they were hiding. If it weren’t for the pristine nature of the place, she’d almost describe it as a ghost town. Abandoned, completely closed off. Even the noise of the militia outside had been drowned out. And to top it all off, the entire town seemed to be made out of gold.

“We should make our way towards the center,” whispered Davenport, not wanting to disturb the silence and call attention to them. “If he’s likely to be anywhere it’s there.”

Everyone else nodded their agreement, and they set off.

Lucretia still didn’t see any people, but the closer they got to the center, the more she was starting to pick up on signs that this city wasn’t abandoned - doors barricaded, curtains shut, a faint light or smell that suggested a fire was going somewhere. More likely, everyone was just hiding. Too afraid to leave their homes. She didn’t blame them. This place was terrifying.

It almost reminded her of the robot world, more metal than life. But at least that place had heart. Where they were now radiated nothing but danger.

They came to the end of a street that led into the square, and stopped, looking out at the scene from their vantage point behind a building.

A city like this would have had a marketplace here, most likely. Full of people, going about their daily business. Not anymore. The only people in sight now were made of gold, frozen statues that must have committed some offense.  Any sign of stalls or wares had been destroyed or absorbed when the town was transformed.

And there, in the center of it all, in an overly grandiose throne atop a platform made of gold, was Taako.

For the most part, he appeared the same elf, little had changed since their last meeting. But as she looked closer, Lucretia realised two things: The first was that his eyes were completely crystallised. And the second was that despite how bizarre and terrifying this place seemed, Taako just seemed bored.

“Who’s there?” Taako called suddenly, startling her. “You’re hiding, but there’s someone there, I can tell. I can also tell you’re a stranger to this town. And if you don’t get where I can see you right the fuck now, I might just decide to start killing people~~,” he finished in a sing-song voice.

How could he even see through that? Or was it the stone seeing for him? Either way, he knew they were there. The time for stealth was over. She stepped out into the square.

“Oh, it’s you. Lucretia, was it?” he asked, unconcerned. “What’s your deal, anyway? Like I get if you can't get enough of Taako, get in line, but, this just seems weird.”

How did he-? Had he remembered her name?

“I...yes. You remembered?”

“Lucky guess.” he stated coolly. “Anyway, I believe I told you last time to stay out of this if you knew what was good for you?”

He wasn’t even looking at her, inspecting his nails with an air of indifference.

“That offer still stands,” he continued, “but it now comes with the clause of, get the fuck out of my business before I decide you and your friends would all make wonderful statues.”

Maybe there was still some remnant of Taako buried there, informing his decisions or his speech patterns, but whoever they were talking to now wasn’t the same elf. The last time Lucretia had seen him, there had been something warped about him, something not right, but it had still been _him_. This wasn’t. They were talking to someone else entirely, that just happened to be wearing Taako’s face.

Lucretia didn’t need to guess what it was. Even she, who had never wanted to make the relics in the first place, could never have imagined that the light of creation would act like _this_ when given a voice.

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. What did that mean for Taako, whose eyes were nothing but crystal?

“We’re not here to hurt you,” came Magnus’ voice from beside her. “What do you want with this town?”

Lucretia turned to see the others had followed her out into the open. She was surprised for a moment - wouldn’t it have made more sense to see what happened with her first?

“You heard him, we weren’t hidden,” Magnus whispered at her. “And besides, you gotta stop trying to do this all yourself.”

That never was how the IPRE had worked.

“With this town?” Taako repeated, calling their attention back to him. He seemed almost bewildered. “I don’t want anything with it. They’re just the first to witness what all the world will know soon enough.” As he spoke, a smile slowly crept across his face.

And then, without any change in his expression or demeanour, he snapped his fingers. Spikes of crystal and gold shot up out of the ground around their group, narrowly missing impaling them.

“Now hurry up and get out of here, time is a luxury none of us have and you’re _quickly_ running out of it.”

Well. This was the nightmare scenario. They had to do something, but Lucretia didn’t know what. She _really_ didn’t want this to turn into a fight if it could be avoided. But how long would Taako’s subconscious keep him from killing them?

“Okay, shit, just, wait a sec.” Barry cut in. “We’ll get out of your hair, sure, but do you think I could ask a few questions before we go?”

Taako turned his attention to Barry, but the only expressions on his face were confusion and annoyance.

“You’ve _been_ asking questions, my man, but get this - _answer’s still no.”_

“Aaaand I’m not dead yet either so I’m just gonna go ahead and do it,” Barry replied, shrugging a little. “Is there any way we can help you? What do you actually _want?”_

Taako got up from the throne, pacing a few steps along the platform.

“See, you’re still not getting it?” he said, turning to them. He still talked with his hands, Lucretia noted. “There _is_ no helping me, ‘cause _I don’t need it._ Look around!” He spread his arms, gesturing to the city, eyes once more alight with twisted glee. “I’ve got all the power in the world!”

“Listen, kid,” Merle spoke up. “We all have our ambitions. It’s not a bad thing. But power’s not an endgame, it’s a tool. People who want power for power’s sake have usually had too much of it, or not enough. So we’re trying to help you, because this doesn’t look like someone who’s always been on top. This looks like someone who’s still trying to level the playing field. Or make up for lost time?”

Taako laughed, but there was an edge to it, and a warning in his eyes that wasn’t there before.

“I don’t care, old man. I don’t need bullshit shrink talk. I know what I have, and I’m never gonna need anything again. So your _words._ Can’t. _Hurt_ _me_.”

“Is it your power? Or does it belong to that stone you’re carrying?” Barry asked.

“We are one and the same,” came Taako’s immediate response, and this time there was something different in his voice, something new. Deeper and terrifying, with the echo of multiple voices speaking at once.

“See, I don’t think you are,” Barry continued. If he was at all fazed by the entity speaking through his best friend, he was doing a good job of not showing it. “I think the stone is using Taako for its own ends, that Taako’s been shoved deep down inside somewhere. And I gotta tell you, that doesn’t jibe with me.”

“Too bad, my dude. We are one and the same.”

It was disconcerting, hearing Taako’s unique vocal pattern through the voice of something that was undeniably _not Taako_. A reminder that their friend was there, somewhere, but unreachable.

“Man, just how hurt did he have to be for you to get a grip on his mind like that?” Barry asked. “Did you set that up? Or did you just take advantage of the circumstance?”

 _“I wasn’t hurt.”_ Taako snarled, but then seemed to realise he was being put on the defensive, and in an instant the anger faded back to the creepily consistent smile. “I chose this, my dude, ‘fraid you’re wrong.”

Barry went to respond, but Davenport stopped him.

“No, you weren't hurt, were you,” he said. “I mean, you were, deep down, but that’s not the emotion the stone’s feeding off of. It’s got your fear, and more importantly, your anger. Makes you want revenge, right? Not just everything you were denied before, but payback against the people who denied you it. Which, in this case, would be everyone.”

“Might wanna be careful there, kemosabe,” Taako warned. “Last I checked, you were still included in ‘everyone’.”

“You’ve had your chance to kill us. In fact, you’ve had your chance to kill everyone. Wanna tell me why you didn’t?”

“Can’t put on a show without an audience,” he said with a lazy grin.

They all looked at each other. Whatever Taako was going for here, ‘audience’ didn’t really fit the bill.

“If an audience is what you’re looking for, why cut yourself off?” Davenport continued. “I mean, does it look like there’s anyone around?”

The grin on his face froze. He frowned slightly, confused. It was hard to tell, when he no longer had noticeable pupils, but Lucretia didn’t think he was looking at them anymore, either.

Did he not know the answer any more than they did? If there was a discrepancy there, something separating Taako from the stone, that was something they could exploit.

And, with another look at the rest of the group, they seemed to be all on the same page.

“What have you even been _doing_ since you put the dome up?” Davenport asked, seeing how far he could pull this thread.

"I've, uh- I mean," he answered, stumbling over the words. "That's not-"

"It doesn't bother you that you can't remember?" Lucretia added. "How can you know what you plan to do next when you're missing so much information?"

“I don’t- I…” Taako trailed off.

And then, something changed. He blinked, and- had he done that before? Did he need to, with his eyes like that? Lucretia couldn't remember. But now he definitely was, like he was trying to clear his vision but couldn't quite manage it.

He wasn’t moving either, stood still as a statue while he stared slowly at the ground.

“Taako?” Magnus asked hesitantly. “Is that you?”

Taako looked up, turning to face them. He still seemed very unsure, and for a moment Lucretia thought they’d gotten through to him, that he’d shaken off the thrall. But before anyone could act, he seemed to get his bearings, and the surprise on his face quickly faded to anger.

“Who are you?” he asked, voice low and clipped. “Why are you here? What the _fuck_ is going on?”

“We’re your family,” Barry informed him hesitantly.

“Don’t have any,” Taako mumbled, almost reflexively, and Lucretia’s heart broke all over again. For so long, Taako had been their family, and before that, she’d only known him as part of the pair that was Taako and Lup. The idea that Taako could ever think himself without family was horrifying.

“You do, I promise you do,” she spoke up. “You just forgot, there’s a lot of things you forgot that I can’t tell you because there’s an enchantment on it- it’s a long story. But the important thing is you let go if that stone, okay? It’s too powerful for anyone to wield, you’ve got to know it’s controlling you.”

“No, I can’t,” Taako said immediately, taking a step backwards. His leg hit the edge of the throne and he fell, more than sat, back into his seat.

“Why not?” Barry asked.

“Because I _need_ it,” he said quietly.

This wasn’t going the way they’d hoped, but the fact that he was responding at all, the fact that they were still alive, meant there was some part of Taako left, and maybe a part that could be reasoned with. They had to keep trying.

“That’s just the stone’s influence,” Lucretia reminded him. “You’re fine on your own, always have been.”

Taako laughed humorlessly to himself. His fingers tapped against the arm of the throne for a few moments, before he looked up at them.

“Am I?” he asked, voice cracking slightly. “Was I _ever?”_

His face hardened. “If you actually knew me, and you weren’t just lying to try and stop me, you’d _know._ You’d know why I need it. You should leave.”

He looked away from them, muttering to himself.

“You don’t get it… I can’t just give it up…”

“Taako, look around you,” Barry said hurriedly, trying to reach any part of Taako left. “Do you think any of this is good? This isn’t you!”

“Can’t always be yourself if you wanna stay alive, learned that one quick,” he said quickly, voice bordering on hysterical.

"Please, just stop this,” Lucretia pleaded. “We understand-"  
  
"No you don't!" he screamed, slamming his fist down on the arm of the throne. Streaks of crystal raced across the floor at his outburst. Everyone backed away, alarmed by the sudden escalation.

"You don't understand _shit!_ Do you know how many days I went hungry? How many nights I spent on the streets in the middle of winter, thinking for sure I was gonna die? Everything I've had to do to survive, everything I've faced by _myself_ , and you think you come close to understanding? I need this, the world needs this, and you're not gonna take it away from me just because you're _jealous!"_

As he spoke, his voice changed, the last word ringing with the otherworldly echo they’d heard before.

Everything was silent for a moment, Taako’s words hanging in the air. No one knew what to do, how to proceed. How to stop the situation from escalating. If that was even Taako.

But most importantly, they were realising that Taako was right. They _didn’t_ know him. Lucretia didn’t, anyway. Not like that.

Sure, she’d known him for a century, she knew all his quirks better than she knew her own. And she’d seen pieces of it, here and there, in the twins’ survival skills, in the stories Taako was willing to tell when he was drunk enough to risk going within a few miles of the topic. But Taako and Lup had always been very hesitant to talk about their past in any capacity. This might have been the most honest Taako had ever been, and it wasn’t truly him.

How did you deal with something like that? How did you fix a problem that had latched onto his deepest fears, earliest traumas? Was there any way to convince Taako he didn’t need it, when the stone had him equating it with survival? She didn’t know.

In the end, it was Magnus who found the words.

"Yeah, Taako, you're right. We haven't lived the life you've lived, which must have been a really tough one.” He paused, deliberating. “But… I know what it’s like to have stuff taken from you, for your whole world to fall apart. And for surviving that to be so hard you’re not sure you want to anymore. But here’s the thing - you did survive. You were surviving long before you got that stone, because that’s the kind of person you are. And you don’t have to do it alone. We’re here to help you, whatever it’s telling you isn’t true. You don’t need it. You never have.”

Taako’s face was impassive. For all his emotion earlier, he might as well have been carved from the same metal and stone that made up the rest of the town. Lucretia had no idea how he was going to react. This could be the moment they got Taako back, or the moment they lost him forever.

He turned away from them, looking at the ground. And then, in a low, quiet voice, they heard Taako say-

“ _Liar._ ”

And the entire square started turning to crystal from the outside in.

Barry quickly cast Levitate on them, leaving them hovering a few feet above the ground. And good thing too - Lucretia didn’t want to know what would have happened if that crystal touched them. She could guess well enough.

In the commotion, Lucretia caught a glimpse of Taako’s face. It was back to the cold, empty expression he’d had before. Whatever part of him they’d gotten through to had just been buried once again. _Damn it._

Davenport threw a Scorching Ray at Taako, but before it could hit, Taako made a calming gesture with his hand, and the flames died in their tracks, starved of oxygen. He grinned, and snapped his fingers. Crystal fragments broke off the spikes he’d created earlier, and shot in their direction.

Magnus was the first to react, putting his protection fighter training to good use. But a shield could only cover so many of them, and Merle and Barry were left on their own. Merle was fine, he managed to avoid the worst of it, but one of the shards stabbed through Barry’s leg, and he cried out.

“We need to get out of here!” Davenport shouted to rest of them. “This isn’t a fight we can win, if we stay, more people are gonna get hurt.”

“No arguments here!” Lucretia agreed.

“Whatever you’re gonna do, might wanna do it quick,” Barry said through gritted teeth.

In the synchronicity born of a hundred years of working together, the three of them acted as one. Lucretia threw up a shield to block further attacks. Barry cast Sunbeam at Taako, momentarily blinding him. And while he was reeling from the light, Davenport teleported all five of them back to the labs.

“First things first - are you okay?” Davenport asked Barry as soon as they were out of danger.

“Uhhh, been better?” He replied shakily.

“I got him, don’t worry,” Merle said, helping him back to his room to heal.

“So….” Magnus said eventually, breaking the silence. “What now?”

“We got through to him, that’s something,” Lucretia reminded them.

“Did we? Or did we just make things worse?” Magnus asked. “I mean, how are we supposed to save him now?”

“What if we can’t?” Davenport asked quietly from the corner.

He was still standing, arms crossed, not looking at any of them.

“We’re not giving up on him that easily,” Magnus said forcefully, and Lucretia agreed.

“No, listen, I’m on your side here.” Davenport continued. “If we can find a way to bring Taako back, we’ll try anything. But we need to also consider the possibility that there may not be any way back for him. Relics don’t just let you go.”

“He’s not just some random person, either!” Magnus argued. “He _made_ the stone, that’s gotta give him some advantage!”

Davenport didn’t argue back. He just seemed tired.

“Maybe. I hope so. But what do we do if saving him isn’t an option? Do we just let the world die? What about our responsibilities to this world? Everything we worked for? Is it even right for us to put Taako’s life above all that? I don’t like it any more than you, but we’ve been doing this job a long time. We all know that sometimes the hard call is necessary, and as the captain, it’s my job to make it.”

“Does it matter anyway?” Magnus asked. “We can’t _fight_ him. You saw what he was capable of with that thing. Three wizards, a cleric, and a fighter? They’re not a match for that, no matter how good they are.”

He was right. The seven of this couldn't do this themselves. They’d tried, and they’d failed. They needed a new plan.

“So we get help.” Lucretia said, firmly.

“Sounds great, Lucretia, just one problem - from _who?”_ Magnus continued. “I don’t know about you, but I haven’t exactly been building an army in my time on this plane.”

Not an army, no, but Lucretia had people. Friends, mercenaries, other contacts she could call on. Anyone that could make a difference. If now wasn’t the time to make the most of that, the time would never come.

There was only one answer for Magnus.

“From everyone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> END OF ARC TWO
> 
> (that doesn't actually mean much it just feels fun and dramatic to say XD)
> 
> (but seriously three chapters left before the final showdown)


	15. Interlude Two

Eight years on this planet, eight years since its creation, and the stone had never experienced such decadence. It was fulfilling its purpose. It had a wielder who wouldn’t crumble under the weight of their own desires. It was being used, being appreciated, this was the closest it would ever come to realising its true potential. And between all the transmutation magic woven into the very fabric of this city now, and the people within who would learn to respect it, well, the stone could almost say it was enjoying itself.

It had some worries, of course. Taako, for one, could prove difficult if he continued fighting it like this. That was the downside to having a more resilient host, the stone supposed. It only had control over him about half the time, the rest it merely had influence. Still, if his family couldn't break him of the thrall, the stone felt pretty assured in its ability to keep a hold on him. And if worst came to worst, it had contingencies. It always did.

The family, however, now that was interesting. They were telling the truth, the stone could recognise them as the other relic-makers, those who pulled the light apart. One was even carrying another relic with them. Another piece of the light. It had been so long since they were united...

Needless to say, the stone was hesitant to move on right now. It was curious about this new development, wanted to meet these people again. Maybe they could even bring it the other pieces of the light. Fulfilling its purpose was one thing, but it was still, fundamentally, broken. Torn from its other pieces and corrupted by the magic of mortals. Kept from becoming the true Light it was meant to be.

Maybe that was the reason it had never appreciated being alone. It was destined to be a part of a whole. And if it couldn't be with the rest of the light, it burned through mortal minds looking for that unity. Whether it had found it, that remained to be seen. But either way, the stone was looking forward to what the future held.

* * *

Taako was scared. Well, not _scared_ , Taako didn’t do dumb emotions like that. But he couldn't say he was excited about everything that was happening.

In fact, he was pretty fucking worried. About the situation he’d found himself in. Something was happening to his mind, to his memory. It was like he was in a dream half the time? And dream him made bad decisions. And also didn’t remember being awake.

Except none of this was a dream. He was just straight up losing memories, acting on impulses normal Taako would never think to follow through on.

And those times were getting more and more frequent. He was losing himself, and he didn’t know what to do. How to fix it. Even it even _could_ be fixed.

Especially when he didn’t even know what was _causing_ all this bullshit.

...Okay, maybe that wasn’t true. He had a suspicion. He knew his own mind, even if he didn’t always like what he saw. But Taako was nothing if not the master of denial, and if that _was_ the case, he didn’t want to believe it. Couldn't believe it. Because that would mean accepting that the stone was the problem here. And if that was the case, he would have to give it up, or lose himself.

And he couldn't do that.

He just couldn’t. Couldn't go back to what he was before it. Even thinking about it made him feel sick with anxiety.

So maybe he was being a coward about this. He sure used to be able to handle much more than this. It wasn’t even a big deal. But now he was just _tired_ , didn’t have the energy to _do_ that anymore. And with the stone, he didn’t have to.

And hey, cowards survived longer.

 _Fuck_ , he was being an idiot about this, wasn’t he. Here you have it folks, Taako, world famous chef and master wizard, driving himself into oblivion because he was too scared to make a decision. Or maybe he had made a decision, and it was the wrong one. But what if the stone _wasn’t_ causing this, and he threw away his only chance of fixing things over nothing?

He’d been having a lot of thoughts like that lately. He’d think about giving it up, and his mind would come up with another situation where he might need it.

...Those people had told him to give it up. Told him they could help. All lies, of course. No one ever did anything without some kind of ulterior motive, and Taako sure as hell wasn’t giving up his power the first time some randos told him to.

But there was still something weird about them. Like, trying to steal from him, that he understood, everyone would try that if you had something valuable enough. But trying to pretend they were his family? Why lie about that? Obviously Taako would have known that they weren’t. Taako didn’t even _have_ family.

He did have, once, probably. ‘Family’ to Taako brought back hazy memories of a farm with a stern grandfather, cooking lessons with an aunt - had he ever known his parents? He couldn't remember. But even then, he’d been passed around, nothing but an inconvenience, and it hadn’t been long before he’d just run out of family members to take him in. And then his options had been learn how to run, how to take care of himself, or die. The people he’d met yesterday hadn’t been involved in any of it.

Maybe he’d met them in his travels somewhere? None of them were elves, after all, they definitely looked more like the type he tended to find in caravan crews. But he’d never done any job more than about a month, and he’d made an effort not to get attached. No one there ever qualified as _family._ They had to be lying. And therefore not worth listening to.

…So why did he care?

He was Taako, he didn’t care about _anyone._ But he hadn’t killed them. It had made sense to, sure, but some part of him had wanted to stay. To listen. Had been happy to see them. People he didn’t even remember meeting. What the _fuck?_

His mental debate was starting to go round in circles when he heard a shout in the square and snapped out of his thoughts, realising a small group of people had gathered there, all holding weapons.

Which made the third time since he put the dome up.

“Aren’t we done with this?” he asked them, with a long suffering sigh. “You know how this ends, and it’s not good for you, I’ll tell you that.”

“We’re not letting you rule us any longer!” one near the front shouted. “We’re taking back our town!”

Taako raised an eyebrow. Gestured at the various statues of former villagers scattered around.

“Listen, Taako’s in a generous mood, so I’m gonna give you another chance to like, look around here, figure out if this is is really the way you wanna go? ‘Cause there’s an obvious right answer here and you, my friend, have veered so far away from it that honestly I’m not sure _where_ you’ve ended up.”

None of them backed down, all still pointing their weapons at him.

“We won’t yield until you’re dead!” one of them shouted, to numerous agreements.

“Okay, suit yourself,” he said, and flicked his wrist.

As with every other time he’d done this, crystal began creeping inwards from around the square, trapping the group in the middle. While they were distracted, he threw up a crystal shield behind him to block the attacker who has so stupidly thought to try for an ambush - did they really think Taako wouldn’t notice? Well, they were spike food now.

He turned his attention back to the main group. There were spellcasters in this group, he noticed. Most were easy to deal with, of course. Blocking spells with power like this? Child’s play.

But there was one woman in the middle who caught his eye, as instead of attacking him, instead she threw up a bubble of magical force, encapsulating all the survivors within it. The slow wave of crystal hit the bubble, crept a few inches up the side of it, and then stopped.

Interesting. She was definitely powerful, if she could stop him, even for a moment.

They wouldn’t win, though. Taako tried a different approach, and spikes shot at the bubble.

They pierced right through it, and it shattered, pieces of magically charged crystal flying everywhere. Between the spikes and the explosion, there were only a handful of people left standing.

A few tried to run. Taako would deal with them eventually. But this woman didn’t give up. Instead, she picked up a piece of crystal and threw it at Taako.

It disintegrated before it ever hit him, but he was curious now. Curious why she would even try. What was she gaining out of this? There was no way they were going to win. If Taako had wanted to, he could have crystallised her at any moment. This effort was pointless.

He levitated her off the ground, bringing her towards him so they could talk.

“So, okay, I will admit, I started off this whole fight real bored, ‘cause let’s be real, none of you are of any threat to me whatsoever. But you, you’re interesting. You’ve definitely got magical talent. Abjuration specialty for sure, but I’d guess you know enough about everything else to get out of here if you really want to. Or, hell, you didn’t have to come do this. You knew enough about me to know you weren’t going to win.”

“Fuck you,” she spat at him.

Taako ignored it and kept talking.

“So here’s the thing, right, here’s what I don’t get. If you knew you were gonna die, why bother _fighting?_ Like, doesn’t that seem, I dunno, uh, counterproductive? A waste of time? _Painful_ , for one, _definitely_ reckless, I could give you a whole list if you want, but yeah, what gives?”

She seemed surprised at the question, though the determined anger didn’t drop from her face.

“You really don’t get it?” she asked.

“Enlighten me.”

“With you in charge, I’d die either way, it was only a matter of time. And yeah, maybe I could have left. But this is our _home._ You’re the one who doesn't belong here. And I believe that someone should stand up to you. So maybe you kill me. Maybe it hurts more this way. But I die fighting for the things I believe in, and that’s way more important than surviving knowing you’ve compromised the person that you are. If you can’t understand that, you really are a coward.”

And Taako… paused.

“Well?” she shouted. “What are you waiting for! Go ahead and kill me like everyone else!”

No, he wasn’t going to do that. Doing that seemed _wrong._ Why did it seem wrong?

He dropped her back on the ground, retreated the crystal around her.

“What are you _doing?_ ” she asked, equal parts angry and bewildered.

“Get the fuck out of here,” Taako said, distractedly. He needed to think. What the fuck just happened?

“I don’t take orders from you!”

“Okay then, just- just shut up a sec,” he said, and for good measure, threw up a bubble of his own around himself, blocking him from the outside.

What was he even doing? He should just get rid of her, like everyone else. He shouldn’t be here, hiding, that wasn’t what a ruler did, wasn’t what _anyone_ did, it made no sense.

But something about what she’d said had impacted him. Made him step back and reconsider.

Because she was right.

About more than just herself.

If the stone was the problem, if it was taking over Taako’s mind, if he’d been letting it do so all this time - That wasn’t freedom. That was the opposite of freedom. And yeah, he was terrified to go back to the life he had before. It was just about as shitty as life could get. But at least it was _his_ life.

He needed to stop thinking about this and just face it. There was no world where keeping the stone was the better option. Not like this.

Maybe those people had been his family, maybe they hadn’t. But they’d been right about one thing. The stone wasn’t his friend. And maybe he’d spent his life running away from his problems. But it was an insult to everything he’d been through to assume that his survival relied on anyone other than himself. Adaptability was supposed to be his _thing_ , but he’d been sitting here letting himself stagnate.

Gods, this was hard. Thinking about it was one thing, but it was another thing entirely to willingly put yourself back in a bad situation. Or, really, make any step towards doing so. But he had to stop running eventually.

And he could start by giving this city back to its people. One thing at a time.

He dropped the bubble around himself, then focused his awareness on the top of the dome. Felt out the structures holding it together, and moved to disconnect them, turn them back into regular air.

Wait, no, something was wrong. The bubble had come down easily, without even thinking, but the dome hadn’t been touched. Why wasn’t it changing?

He frowned at the dome, and tried again. Nothing happened. Not even the slightest movement, transmutation he could do in his sleep, none of it was working.

 _“Now, why would you be doing that?”_ a voice spoke in Taako’s head, and his blood turned cold. In his determination to fix things, he’d forgotten the stone knew everything he was thinking, everything he wanted to do. No, it was fine, he could work this out, if he kept telling himself that maybe they’d both believe it.

“Just let me change it back you jackass,” he snapped at the stone, too quickly, _come on Taako, chill, you’re acting like some scared kid, get it together._

 _“I don’t think that’s a good idea,”_ the stone advised. Which was great, except Taako was determinedly _not listening_ to its advice anymore.

“I changed my mind. I don’t need you.” Might as well get it all out in the open, right?

“ _Wow, that sure is an opinion you’ve got there. Seems like a giant flaming mound of lies to me, but what would I know? It’s not like I’m your only chance of survival, after all. Or that using me has kept you from freezing, or starving, protected you from all the people who hate you for mistakes_ you _made. Don’t be an idiot, you know better than anyone that fighting is worthless.”_

“It’s not.” It wasn’t. It couldn’t be.

_“What? One girl says a few words to you and you believe her? You won’t get very far like that. Trust what you’ve known all along. Fighting will get you hurt, get you killed. With me you survive, you can trust that.”_

Gods, he was so sick of this? How had he thought this was okay before??

“No, fuck off! Quit it with the manipulation, Jesus fuck! You think I don’t see through that shit? You don’t want to obey me any more, fine, I’ll learn how to change this back myself. But you don’t control me anymore. I can survive without you. And if I die, at least I do it on my own terms. Not _yours._ ”

There was a pause. Taako almost thought he’d won, that this was over, and then-

_“Okay. You want honesty? All cards on the table, no manipulation? Here’s the complete truth - I’m not letting you do that.”_

“What can you do to stop me?” He was done with this, done with being the passenger in his own mind, done with _anyone_ taking advantage of him.

 _“You still haven’t realised yet, have you? You think everything’s fine now, that your mind is all in one piece, and we can just happily part ways? You know, you talk so much about power, but you missed the most important thing_.”

“And that is?” he asked, trying and failing to keep his voice level, anger and trepidation tumbling over one another.

_“You really should have been more careful how much you let me have over you.”_

And then everything went black.

And when Taako woke up, he was back in that dreamscape, the room of crystal. Except this time, it was dark. Empty.

He tried to cast Light. Nothing happened. Tried to cast Fireball. Not even a spark. His magic wasn’t working here.

He shouted at the stone, trying for a response, any response. His voice echoed off the inside of the chamber, but he got nothing in return.

Anxiety started curdling in his stomach, but he tried to push it down. Panicking wouldn’t help anyone. Taking slow, measured breaths, he walked carefully and deliberately over to the walls.

They felt like crystal to the touch, firm and unyielding. He kicked at the wall. Pain shot through his foot, but the wall didn’t move. He kicked at it again. Slammed his whole body against it. It didn’t budge, not even a scratch on it.

He slowly slid to the floor, back against the wall.

 _No no no no no-_ No. He wasn’t panicking just yet. He wasn’t. He wouldn’t. He was stronger than that. He’d figure out a way out of here. He just needed time.

And to not panic. Which he wasn't. And he definitely wasn’t feeling claustrophobic, either. The darkness wasn’t getting to him at all. He was fine with the silence, definitely wasn’t feeling any urge to shout into it just to hear any noise at all. Any reports of tears welling up in his eyes were clearly written by liars.

He curled up on the floor, shutting his eyes.

_It’s just a dream it can’t hurt me none of this is real if I just wake up I’ll be fine-_

If he kept his eyes closed, didn’t have to see it, maybe it would all go away. It was a last ditch attempt, but this definitely counted as a desperate situation.

_Just gotta wake up, you can do it Taako, you’ve done it before, come on you idiot, wake up!!! It’s not real, it’s an illusion, try concentrating on the real world, try treating it like a meditation, try noticing the flaws in this world, hey, try telling the stone to fuck itself, maybe that’ll work-_

He couldn't get out. Nothing was working.

_No no no no no no no no no no no no no-_

He had no magic. No one to help. He didn’t even have control over his own body.

He was down to just his own shitty mind, that wasn’t good for anything.

He was trapped.

* * *

Well. This was disappointing. The stone had been so hoping they could work together for once. But its creator turned out to be just like all the other mortals, easily swayed, and easily destroyed. At least Taako was still alive, the stone had someone to use it, even if Taako’s consciousness was no longer present.

This was the stone’s world now. It easily dealt with the other mortals, but it wasn’t leaving here just yet. Taako had set good groundwork in building the perfect city, after all. And besides, here, people knew where they were. Which was exactly what the stone wanted.

Because it had a better plan. Find the other relic holders. Reunite with its pieces. And destroy anything that stood in its way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> are you ever just writing something and then it suddenly swerves out of your control and down into the angst pit three chapters early? bc that's what this did
> 
> up until like, last friday, the plan was not to trap taako in his own mind with his worst fears, but, hey, what can do you ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> (the plan actually wasn't for any of taako's whole stone rebellion tbh it just sort of happened)
> 
> i have, no idea what kind of havoc this is going to wreak on my beautifully crafted finale
> 
> but i guess we'll find out together XD


	16. Chapter Thirteen

It was an ordeal, over the next few days, trying to figure out who they could call or how to convince them to join. Lucretia spent most of her time in her office, making calls and tracking down people she thought could help. And it kept her busy, away from everyone else, which was probably a plus. They may be on a mission, but there were still tensions between the group after everything she’d done.

She expected nothing less. They needed time, so for now all she could do was focus on whatever ways she could help. Which meant putting together this list. If there was anything useful she’d done over the past six years, it was gathering contacts, a network of people she trusted. And now they needed that network more than ever.

The Millers were the first she talked to, being the most easily reachable. They knew some of the situation already, and it didn’t take her long to fill them in on the rest of it. They were happy to help in whatever capacity they could (well, Maureen offered, Lucas reluctantly agreed), but they were builders more than fighters.

Still, Lucas had plenty of experience in robotics and reckoned he could provide extra firepower if necessary, and Maureen was looking into the arcana side, testing out potential alternate solutions.

Which was all well and good, but if this came down to a fight - and things were looking that way - they needed reliable backup.

Killian would be her first choice, and Lucretia reckoned she could get her to join up, but there had to be more. She wasn’t the only mercenary Lucretia had ever encountered, after all, and no doubt Killian herself would know more. It might be worth asking Magnus and Barry as well - both had worked as hired muscle, they’d know others.

And there were more than just fighters - anyone inoculated could potentially help. Which meant all her relic seekers as well. Alina, Amos, Brian, Edmond, Marina, she had plenty.

The bigger problem here, the one she had been trying not to think about up until this point, was convincing them to come at all. Her circle of loyal and reliable friends was small, and this was a dangerous mission. Sure, most of them were used to danger, but stopping relics was one thing, trying to save someone from a relic was another thing entirely. She could raise an army to fight a villain. But something this personal, saving a friend, just another person who didn’t matter to them, who knew.

And this was made doubly hard because they’d never successfully saved anyone before. They’d all lost friends and family to the relics, but rescue missions were always a lost cause. They wouldn’t have sympathy, and they’d be smart not to.

Was she asking too much? As impartial as she tried to be, she could be just as biased as anyone. And if the events of late had proved anything, it was that she was too easily blinded by her own goals.

But with Taako involved, she couldn’t trust any of her friends to be any more impartial than herself. She’d need to talk to the others herself, work out this plan as a group. If they even had a plan yet.

God, this whole thing was a mess. They acted like they knew what they were doing, but this was uncharted territory for everyone. All they could do was their best, in a situation where their best likely wasn’t good enough. It would mean difficult choices. They kept coming across difficult choices. Lucretia was sick of them. They never turned out well, for her, or anyone else.

No, she couldn’t sit here and brood, that wouldn’t help anyone. She’d made it this far after all, with all of them still standing. This world was injured, but alive. That was what mattered, saving it and everyone in it.

And maybe this would go wrong. Maybe she couldn’t gather her army, or maybe she could and it wouldn’t make a difference. Maybe Taako was a lost cause, and they should give up now before they all lost themselves to the relics. Maybe that was their punishment for creating them.

But if this went right…

Maybe it was time to stop doing things alone.

Her friends were right, her mistake had been assuming one person could save the universe. And everyone deserved the chance to choose to help, even if it put them in danger.

That could be her new mission. Bring them in permanently, whoever wanted to. Make this everyone’s quest, not just hers. And prevent this from ever happening to anyone else.

* * *

Magnus knocked on the door to Barry’s room.

“Come in,” he heard from inside, and opened the door to see Barry sitting on the bed, leg rested carefully on a few pillows, and a gloomy expression on his face.

There were a lot of things contributing to that mood, Magnus supposed. Ranking highly on the list: his current injury. His leg was better than it had been, but a wound like that took time to heal. It would be a few days before he was better completely, though hopefully he’d be able to walk on it again soon enough. Both for the mission, but also because Magnus was guessing Barry hated being stuck where he was about as much as Magnus would have in his place. So, a lot.

Sure, it would take time to get the next part of the plan together, so it wasn’t like any of them had anything better to do. But they were all restless, anxious about what was about to happen. And that nervous energy didn’t like to sit around.

So add that to all the emotional garbage he was probably wading through right now - yeah, Magnus didn't envy him.

He sat down next to Barry.

“How are you feeling, you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, I mean, I guess.” Barry responded dejectedly. “Doesn’t feel great. Though I guess that goes for both physically and emotionally, dunno which one it was you were thinking.”

“Whichever one you feel like talking about?” Magnus offered.

“Yeah…” Barry trailed off, collecting his thoughts. He still had the umbrastaff next to him, Magnus noted. He tapped his fingers along the handle a few times before looking up. “It’s just...we failed, Mags. I failed.”

“Woah, hey, no you didn’t,” Magnus said hurriedly. He had expected Barry to be upset, yeah, but not to _give up_ so easily, especially not when it involved people he cared about. That wasn’t the kind of person he was.

“Yeah, I kinda did, and I’m fucking pissed because we _almost had him back._ We got so close, you know? And then we lost him again. I dunno, if I’d been more careful with what I’d said, if I’d been, fucking, thinking better, maybe- maybe we could have got through to him.”

“None of this is your fault.” Magnus assured. “And it’s not too late, we can still fix this.”

“Magnus…” Barry started, shaking his head. “Look around you, man. You think Lucretia’s been gathering an army so we can save him? Davenport’s been acting the gloomy pragmatic leader because everything’s gonna be fine? We- we _had_ our chance, Mags. What makes this situation any better than last time?”

Magnus didn’t say anything. Barry had a point, maybe, in the logical sense. But since when had logic been a good reason to abandon hope?

“Yeah, exactly.” Barry continued, in response to his silence. “If anything, things have gotten worse now? At least last time we had some hope it might go well, now we just have an even greater certainty it won’t. I wish it was, really I do, but… this isn’t a rescue mission.”

“You really don’t think there’s any hope here at all?” Magnus asked.

“No, I-” Barry stopped, and sighed. “I don’t know. I just miss my best friend. And I don’t know how I’m supposed to keep going if the two most important people in the world to me are gone for good. But I can’t shake this, like, growing fear that they’ve already been gone a while.”

He looked down at the umbrastaff again, lifting it onto his lap.

“I don’t even know why I’m keeping this,” he mused. “It just feels, wrong, to let go of it, like it doesn’t want me to. Does that make sense? I don’t even know. It’s probably just me trying to find some connection to her still.”

It definitely made sense to Magnus. And he knew the feeling. After Julia died he would have given anything for one more piece of her, anything that gave him hope she might not be gone. Or, failing that, good memories to hang onto. And maybe that hope prevented them from moving on, who knew. But sometimes it was what they needed. And besides, Lup was the most resilient person Magnus had ever encountered. If anyone could find a way to hang on to life somehow, in some way they hadn’t discovered yet, it was her.

“Hey….” Magnus said with a comforting smile, reaching out to squeeze his arm. “If it helps, keep it. You don’t have to overthink it. Just hold on to what you have.”

“Yeah… thanks, Magnus.”

“Anytime.”

“Man, how did everything get so fucked up so quickly?” Barry remarked.

“That’s a really good question. I dunno. But I guess all we can do is keep going.”

“Yeah… gods, I’m tired of all this. Why can’t things ever just be easy?”

And wasn’t that the question.

“Not the way life works, I guess,” Magnus supposed.

Barry looked up at him, the beginnings of a rueful smile on his face.

“Yeah, that’s true,” he said. “Still, it sucks.”

Magnus almost laughed despite himself.

“That it does, my friend. That it sure does.”

But they kept going, because they had to. And gods know Magnus had considered giving up many times, after he lost everything he had to fight for. Hell, sometimes he still considered it. It would be easy, which was the most tempting thing of all. But it wouldn’t be right.

So they kept moving forwards. Until things got better. For as long as it took.

* * *

When Merle entered the room, Davenport was, predictably, standing against the far window, not looking at him. Somehow, even when Merle couldn’t see his face, he was still standing miserably.

“Hey, how you doing?” Merle asked. “I’ve got drinks, if you want. Or, hell, we could just play a card game, like we used to.”

If he knew Davenport at all, the guy was likely getting too much in his own head. He did that a lot, all these ideas about what he should and shouldn’t be doing, the person he was supposed or not supposed to be. And yeah, sometimes that made him a better leader. But sometimes he just needed to give himself a break.

“I don’t have time for that right now, Merle.” Davenport replied tersely, without moving.

Called it.

“Yeah, yeah, sure, you say that, but seems to me like you got plenty, you just don't wanna let yourself relax.”

Davenport turned to him, raising an eyebrow, his posture still way too tense.

“Is that such a surprise? Look at what we’re dealing with,” he said incredulously.

Yep. Sure was some shit. And hey, Merle didn’t like it any more than he did. But they’d been through shit before, and he couldn’t keep letting it get to him the way it did.

“Yeah, that’s rough. Kid never deserved any of this. and I hope he’ll pull through as much as any of you, but standing around and worrying like that isn’t doing anything for him. And it ain’t doin’ you much good either.”

Davenport made a noise of vague agreement, but didn’t move.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Not right now. Not until this is over. The others need me to be a leader, and I’m sorry Merle, but that comes first.”

“Yeah, that may be true. But they ain’t here now, are they? And we’ve got another day here at least. If you don’t wanna open that can of worms right now, I can respect that. But don’t be so hard on yourself. You got nothing to prove. And for Pan’s sake give yourself a damn break,” he said, the latter part maybe more vehemently than intended.

“I guess…” Davenport’s posture slumped a little. He took a deep breath, putting his face in his hands. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be doing this with you, huh,” he said wryly.

“Nah, don’t worry about it. You’ve been through a lot, got some walls up, I get it. You don’t gotta pull those down right away. But hey, we got time to kill, so that offer of drinks and cards is still on the table if you’re up for it.”

Davenport didn’t say anything for a moment. There was a time when he would have agreed much easier, but those days had long passed. They’d all been through too much, Davenport most of all. It couldn’t be easy for him to accept everything that happened, let alone keep it from affecting his own sense of self and self esteem.

Now all that remained to be seen was if they could move past it.

“Yeah, okay. I’d like that,” he said, eventually. “Thanks, Merle,”

“Ah, it ain’t nothing. Just proving I can still beat your ass,”

“Oh sure, like you ever could,” he responded immediately.

At least Merle could still get him out of his own head, which was all he could ask at this point.

“So, we left off with you two down I believe...”

“Yeah, bullshit…”

* * *

The Miller Labs were not typically designed to hold this many people at once, so even in one of their conference rooms, it was still a little crowded.

Still, that was a good thing, right? Magnus supposed it depended on your point of view. And, you know, what they were planning to do here. Which seemed to be still up in the air, and making Magnus more nervous by the second.

“Okay, here’s the situation.” Lucretia began, once everyone had settled. “We know where the philosopher’s stone is and who’s using it. Some of you will already know this, because he hasn’t exactly been subtle. The dome over Falconhurst draws enough attention by itself, let alone everything he’s done over the past few weeks. People are dead, and we can’t fight a threat like that alone. Trust me, we tried. Which is why you’re here. We need more power to fight this.”

She hesitated, looking out at the people gathered.

“Unfortunately, he’s also a friend. Which is why I can’t order you to shoot on sight. Our priority is of course protecting the people he threatens, and if that means lethal force is the only course of action available to you, then…” Another pause. “You should of course take it. I won’t ask you to put his life above your own. I just ask you to consider he’s as much a victim in this as anyone.”

“Is that really wise?” someone spoke up. “We’ve never recovered anyone from a thrall before, isn’t it safer to assume he’s gone for good?”

“Maybe. But me thinking that way is what got us into this mess in the first place. We’re all fighting for something, for the things and people we care about, and if we lose sight of that, we’re just fighting for the sake of fighting. Taako is someone I care about. And I can’t give up on him that easily. I won’t force you into anything. But this time, I’m taking that risk, because it is and will always be worth it.”

“And if it’s not worth it to the rest of us?”

Lucretia sighed.

“Then you do what you have to.”

That really wasn’t what Magnus had wanted to hear. As everyone went about getting ready, he came over to Lucretia.

“Hey, Lucretia? Can we talk? Just, you know, our crew?”

She nodded, gathering the five of them together.

“Are we really doing this? Just letting them murder him?” He asked, once they were out of earshot of the crowd.

“You heard what I said, we’re not trying to kill him. But we do need to take precautions. You know we’re doing everything we can to try and save him, but when it comes down to it, they’re right. We _can’t_ keep putting Taako above everyone else. We owe it to this plane to treat its people fairly. Lup made us promise, remember? We can’t get so blinded by our own goals that we think it’s okay to let worlds of innocent people die.”

And Magnus got that, he did, but this was _Taako_. He couldn’t believe he was gone for good, he was still there somewhere, they had to save him. Magnus refused to lose any more people. He wouldn’t. And as for Lup...

“You’re really bringing Lup into this? You think Lup would want this? He’s her _brother!_ ”

“Yes and she’s not here!” Lucretia shot back. “And won’t be ever again. So we have to make decisions without her. And that means doing what’s best for this plane, even if it hurts.”

“What if we can get the upper hand?” asked Barry, who up until that point had been uncharacteristically quiet.

“How?” Magnus asked.

“Inoculate him. Half of this is because he doesn’t have his memory, if he remembers us at least he’ll trust us.”

“Easier said than done…”  Merle muttered.

“And even if we can,” Lucretia continued, “It might not be the simple fix you’re looking for.”

“What do you mean?” Barry asked.

“We don’t know if inoculating Taako will free him from the thrall of this, what if it makes everything worse?”

“Taako loves us though, he wouldn’t hurt us if he remembered,” Magnus added. Taako wasn’t the enemy here, he just needed their help.

“Are you sure about that? How did you feel about me when you remembered? He’s gonna feel every ounce of that betrayal. And with everything Taako’s lost, we might never get him back again,” Lucretia pointed out.

“Lucretia, we’re losing him _because_ of all he’s lost!” Barry countered. “He’s got nothing to fight for, as far as he’s concerned, he’s had _no one_ his whole life. _Nothing_ to rely on, no wonder he sees everyone as an enemy. If he remembers, yeah, it’ll hurt. But you might give him back a crucial part of his soul.”

“Maybe. But that’s not the only problem...” Lucretia said, trailing off.

“How we get him to drink it,” Davenport supplied. “Because as you just mentioned, he doesn’t trust us.”

“We’ll work that out when we get there,” Magnus said firmly. Barry was onto something here and if they had any chance at all to improve their odds, Magnus was gonna take it. “We got through to him before, i know we did, we can do it again.”

“That remains to be seen, but… yeah, we can try.” Lucretia conceded.

“Are you gonna tell everyone else about this new part of the plan?” Magnus asked hesitantly. It wasn’t in Lucretia’s nature to do so, but letting everyone know might mean they cool it on the killing.

Lucretia looked like she had an answer, but then caught herself, considering.

“...Yes,” she eventually spoke up. “Enough doing this alone. Everyone will be briefed on whatever plan we have.”

Well, that was something. There was just one other problem...

“ _Do_ we have one?” Magnus asked.

“Well, that’s the hard part.” Barry replied. “But I think I’ve got an idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> google defines procrastination as "the action of delaying or postponing something"
> 
> i define it as "watching a full season of agents of shield when you're supposed to be writing bc this chapter is difficult and you don't like it"
> 
> still, thanks for your patience, and i will (hopefully) see you next week!


	17. Chapter Fourteen

Before they knew it, their party had reached the city limits, Lucretia leading the charge with the rest of the IPRE. The dome loomed in front of them, still just as imposing and terrifying as before. They knew what they were in for. They knew it wouldn’t be easy. This might not go the way they were hoping.

But now they were far from alone. They were prepared, they had a plan. And Lucretia wasn’t leaving here without Taako. Not this time.

* * *

_ One day ago _

“Listen, Lucretia, I don’t care how necessary it is, I can’t get you null suits for an entire damn army! There isn’t time!” Lucas protested.

“So find another way around.” She ordered. “Taako plays to his strengths, and unlimited transmutation is one of the strongest of all. So far he’s mostly been toying with us, but in a serious fight? I need a way to prevent him killing us all before anyone gets a chance to do anything.”

They had the numbers, they could surround Taako easily. The difficulty was in making sure he didn’t just use that to his advantage and take them all out in one fell swoop. Lucas had the technology to protect people from transmutation magic, but it was still in the prototype stages, and they had a lot of people who needed protecting.

Lucas thought for a moment.

“I could  _ maybe  _ handle a shield? Won’t be as effective as the full suit, but it’ll cover more space, and at least prevent him from attacking from the front? You could try sanctioning off a recovery space with it, then at least you’re protecting some people.”

“That’ll do, as big as you can make it. And we’ll still need those null suits, as many as you have.” Lucretia added.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” he said dismissively, going back to working.

It wasn’t ideal, but it would have to do. It was better than nothing, in any case. She should check if Barry was up and walking yet, he’d be a useful consultant. And easier to deal with.

Though speaking of…

“Maureen, what have you got for me?” 

The other person in the room looked up from what she was doing.

“Well, I haven’t got much, arcana isn’t really my area of expertise, but I’ve got a few things to keep you from dying.” Maureen explained. “Biology is more my field, so I started there, healing potions and potions for a temporary health boost should be no problem. And, while we focus mostly on magitech and not artificing, I should be able to outfit your team with some basic enchantments, power buffs, half damage, that sort of thing.”

“No that’s great, thank you,” Lucretia said earnestly. “Honestly, we need all the help we can get.”

“So I’ve heard,” she responded drily. Lucretia chuckled softly, because yeah, that was a fair assessment. This may be the biggest mission she’d organised so far, but it was far from the first. 

“And hey, Lucretia?” Maureen called, as she turned to leave. 

“Hmm?” she asked, turning back to Maureen.

“Be careful.”

“...Yeah.”

* * *

They had all the advantages they could get. They just had to hope their tech would hold.

And that the other part of this went according to plan.

* * *

_ Four hours ago _

Lucretia stood in front of the tank that was currently housing Fisher. Well, strictly speaking, at the top of the stairs next to it. Now Fisher was this big, she should really come up with a way of gathering ichor from the ground, but so far she hadn’t needed it. Also, foresight wasn’t her forte. She’d get round to it later. There were important things on her mind right now. Because once again, here she was with a decision to make, a decision that could potentially determine the fate of the world. 

If Taako remembered, he'd know the power he was using, understand how it worked, know that he created it. It could give him the advantage he needed to shrug off the thrall of the stone - and he was definitely thralled now. He may not have started that way, but using any grand relic that long - it changed the way you think. Whatever state of mind he was in now, he might not remember where he started, or how to get back to it. He needed help, and this might serve as the catalyst for that.   
  
On the other hand, with his memory restored, he'd remember everything she was saving him from. He'd remember their journey, a hundred years of futility, of letting worlds die because they had no choice. He'd remember that they almost did the same to this one. And most importantly, he'd remember his sister, and how she disappeared for good. And if she couldn't convince him to abandon the relic, then that grief and that guilt, it could make things a thousand times worse.

There was no telling which way it would go. Either way they were taking a risk. Gambling everyone's lives. If they made this choice, it was all or nothing.

All she wanted to do was protect people. Prevent them from hurting. That was all she’d ever wanted to do. And somehow that altruism had forced her into so many corners she hadn’t realised the labyrinth of grey morality she’d ended up in. Not until it was far too late.

So this was it. The final choice. Fixing the last of her mistakes. No turning back now.

She took a deep breath, and plunged her canteen into the water.

* * *

_ Three hours ago _

With so little time before they had to leave, now wasn’t the moment for arguments. Unfortunately, as Lucretia entered the main lobby of the building, Barry and Davenport seemed to be in the middle of one.

“You’re not going without me.”

“We don’t  _ want  _ to, but be reasonable here, you’re still healing and this is gonna be dangerous.”

“You need me there!”

Ah. So that’s what this was about. Honestly, in all this not once had Lucretia considered Barry might be too injured to come along. That had never stopped him before. But then again, they’d never been in a situation like this before.

Still, after all they’d been through together, Barry could no more choose to stay behind than she could have chosen to ignore this world’s plight. Than any of them could have chosen to stay out of this fight.

“It’s not really fair to leave him here against his wishes,” she pitched in.

Davenport turned to her.

“You remember we’re here for good, right? There’s no resurrection anymore. Our team’s already depleted enough, I’m not losing anyone else when we don’t have to.”

“Yeah, and you remember I’m a lich, right?  _ I can’t die, _ ” Barry added indignantly.

“We thought that about Lup too, but do you see her around anywhere? We don’t know  _ what  _ could happen!” Davenport immediately countered.

Barry folded his arms and stared at him, face set determinedly.

“I don’t care. I can walk, you can see I can walk, you can’t keep me out of this. Taako is the closest family I’ve got left, there’s no way you’re leaving me behind, no matter how dangerous it is!”

The room fell into silence as Davenport looked Barry up and down, weighing his options. 

“....Fine,” he said eventually.

“Thank you,” Barry replied vehemently. “Now, as I was saying, fight stuff’s all well and good, but that can’t be our first option, we all know that. I was talking this over with Magnus earlier, and we think we’ve got the last piece of the puzzle. The relics are powered by the light of creation, sure, but they’re still enchanted by us. We know how they work better than anyone else in existence. That stone that Taako’s got, it’s his own magic signature being boosted by the light, which in addition to the transmutation magic, is producing a real powerful enchantment, yeah?”

“Yes, we know all this, how does it help us?” Davenport asked.

“Every enchantment has a counter enchantment. And we have all the knowledge we need to tune a spell to that purpose. True, I’m not as powerful as the light of creation, but it’ll at least give him a fighting chance.”

“What if you did have the light of creation?” Lucretia suggested.

“What do you mean?” Barry asked.

“I have my staff. It was the first relic I found, and I’ve proven I can use it without the thrall. If you show me what I’m looking for, I could cast the spell with all the power of the light. Or I could try and boost your abilities? It’s not what the relic’s designed for, but it's worth a shot?”

Barry nodded, expression hard to read. It looked almost on purpose, like he was trying to force down whatever emotions he might be feeling. Maybe he just didn't want to get his hopes up. Lucretia understood that. But she also knew that they had a chance, and there was nothing that could make them give up on Taako. 

“You know… if everything goes to plan here, we might actually do this.”

* * *

So here they were. All or nothing, and no turning back now. 

Lucretia turned to face the rest of the group, the IPRE at her side.

“Okay,” she addressed them. “You all know the plan. We’re as prepared as we can be. But we should also be prepared for this to go wrong. I’ve told you what I can about our last encounter, but this is a master of transmutation we’re dealing with, there’s no telling what he might have done to the place. Be on your guard. And remember, whatever happens, we are here to protect people. That’s who we are, and we couldn’t do it without the bravery of every single one of you. So be proud.”

She turned to her family. “Anything to add?”

A chorus of “No,” “Nope,” and “All good here,” greeted her.

“Okay then,” she said. “Let’s go.”

It was harder to sneak past the militia with this many people, but at least this time they’d done it before. And anyway, there were enough spellcasters that they didn’t all have to move in one big group, as long as they were all there when they opened the door.

But as it turned out, it didn't matter. Before they even got close, the dome opened for them, no transmutation necessary. It had to be Taako’s doing. Lucretia just wasn’t sure if this was a good sign or a bad one.

Hesitantly, she stepped through the now open doorway, the rest of her group in tow.

As soon as they entered, like she’d suspected, things had changed. The walk to the centre was still a long one, but along the way…

The town felt a lot less lived in now, more like a battleground. There weren’t any real signs of people, and Lucretia couldn’t tell if they were all dead, or just too afraid to leave their homes. Some of the houses had just straight up vanished, making room for the way Taako’s impromptu throne room had expanded to be bigger, more decadent. More deadly.

There were walls now, and a lot more furnishings everywhere. They might have made good places to hide, if they weren't under Taako’s control. As it was, it just made the terrain even more dangerous.

“I see you brought an army,” Taako called as they approached.

Lucretia stared up at him. If she could hold his attention, they could get everything into place. Give the people with the shields time to set up a temporary retreat zone out of Taako’s control. Give their soldiers time to get into place. Barry time to figure out his countercharm.

But she meant what she was about to say, too.

“Taako, please don’t make us use it, it’s not too late to come home! We don’t have to fight you!”

_ Please don’t make us fight you. _

Taako looked like he was considering for a moment. Did she dare hope this would work?

And then he cocked his head to the side and grinned.

“Hmm, sorry, Taako isn’t here right now,” he taunted, and Lucretia felt her stomach drop out from under her.

“What do you mean?” she asked with trepidation.

“Ehhh, he was causing too much trouble, you know? Had all these ideas about stopping me, putting an end to our plan, some  _ stupid  _ ideas about protecting people. So I just got rid of him? And  _ gods  _ is it easier to think now, without all the  _ angsting _ . Like jeezy  _ creezy _ that guy had issues.”

He was speaking so flippantly, the only emotion vague annoyance, that it took a second to even realise what he’d said. And even longer to process it. 

Lucretia just stood there, mentally replaying everything she’d just heard. Taako was there, she was hearing him speak, but the words he’d said… were telling her that she was talking only to the stone, through her friend’s mouth, using his words. The real Taako, the person they’d come to save, where was he? Dead, like the stone implied? Trapped in his own mind? Something else entirely?

And it was because he’d tried to go against the stone. Was this their fault?

...Would any of their plans even work now?

“...What?” she found herself asking.

Taako- _Not_ _Taako_ grinned, clearly enjoying provoking them.

“Taako’s gone. Now, I believe you were saying something about fighting me?”

And before anyone had any time to react, he attacked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is so late and so short, i have spent the past week rethinking every choice in life that has led me to this moment
> 
> and also dealing with dumb fic insecurity making me not want to post this bc i suck at transition chapters
> 
> but hey its done and its wednesday so i can't really keep ignoring it
> 
> also sorry for the cliffhanger, but next chapter is so long already i had to cut it there XD
> 
> (though if i take forever on the next one as well it's bc im still debating posting 15 and 16 together so as not to leave you on the worst cliffhanger of the lot)


	18. Chapter Fifteen, Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god i can't believe we're here
> 
> i started this in january expecting nothing to come of the idea and now look where we are
> 
> IT'S FINAL SHOWDOWN TIME, PEOPLE

Lucretia ducked as the first attack skimmed right over her head and hit a wall behind her, sending crystals scattering to the ground.

She quickly looked around to make sure everyone was okay. In her brief glance, no one seemed dead, but she couldn't take her eyes off this fight for long. There were too many risks.

Stone-Taako's eyes narrowed, and he outstretched his arm, stone in hand. All along the walls and floor, crystals grew from where he was standing and rushed towards her, sharpening as they went.

Time seemed to slow as the attack neared her. She had to think of her next move, and fast.

_Okay, Lucretia, you’ve got this,_ she thought. _Don’t get emotional, block it all out, it’s just another fight. You’ve been in plenty. And you can’t let him get the upper hand._

He had a relic? Well, so did she.

Before she could be impaled or crushed by the newly weaponised room, she slammed her staff into the floor.

Instantly, a shield came up around her, stopping the crystals in their tracks. A few of the tips broke off where she'd cut the closest ones in half, and harmlessly clattered to the floor.

She started backing away, focusing on expanding the shield to cover as many people as possible. Stone-Taako tried a few more attacks, but so far her bubble was impermeable to them.

Well, that was the good news - they could reach a stalemate. The bad news was that the shield could only hold for so long, and they were no further forward with solving this problem. They needed to fight back.

Abjuration magic was, by definition, defensive. Even with a relic of her own, up against Taako's, power with adaptability written into its core, she couldn't win. But Taako was alone, and for the first time, she wasn't. It was time to stop watching from afar, time to stop trying to solve every problem by herself. She was a leader. She had a team. And her team had her back.

Killian shot an arrow at Stone-Taako, forcing him to deflect it, which pulled his attention away from her. As everyone else took over fighting him, she scanned the room, looking for Barry.

She found him not too far from her, also abstaining from the fight, though why, she wasn’t sure.

“You had a plan, right?” she whisper-yelled at him.

Barry, more than anything, just seemed terrified. He frantically shrugged at her, eyes wild.

“A counter enchantment won’t work here! He’s not _enchanted,_ he’s straight up _asleep_ , and that’s if he’s even still alive at all? I- look, I don’t know what to do here!”

“Then-” she stopped as something crashed over their heads and they both ran for cover. “Then figure something out!”

“But!-” Barry started, then grit his teeth and met her eyes. “Okay.”

She nodded in confirmation, and the fight continued.

The spellcasters were doing a pretty good job of countering his transmutation, the fighters were trying with everything they had, but nothing seemed to be close to hitting him.

And then something did.

In true rogue fashion, no one saw Carey as she crept up behind him. No one saw her at all, in fact, until she’d already sunk her dagger into his back, sending him stumbling forward.

The whole room seemed to freeze, waiting to see what would happen.

Thank the gods Carey was wearing a null suit, so he couldn't instantly turn her to crystal, or gold, or whatever else he’d been making statues out of lately. But he the room was still under his command, and he quickly pulled up part of the floor into her, sending her rolling off elsewhere.

And then he fell to his knees, looking surprised, like he hadn’t expected to be able to get hurt.

Did she… Would that kill him? Was he dying? That looked like a lot of blood. Even if it wasn’t Taako, it was still Taako’s body, if he died here there was no way of getting Taako back.

But then he stood up, that easy smirk on his face, and all of Lucretia’s worry turned to ice cold horror.

Stone-Taako looked at the wound in his chest with mild curiosity, and then, with a wave of his hand, healed it instantly.

...Lucretia didn’t even know he could _do_ that. Had she chosen the wrong magic specialisation? Because _holy shit,_ what _couldn’t_ transmutation do?

There was still a very nervous air hanging over the crowd. No one seemed to know what to do about this new development. But if one thing was clear, it was that beating Taako in a straight fight? Wasn’t going to work. If they wanted to even survive, they had to find a way to bend the rules.

The fight started to pick up again as people seemed to get their bearings, but Lucretia didn’t join them. Instead she just stood, still shielded by her relic, thinking.

They were improvising here. Their plans had fallen through. No one knew what they were doing, just that they had to do something.

And she had the relic. She had the knowledge. She was leading this team, for whatever it was worth.

This was her mistake to fix.

“Hey!” she yelled at him, throwing one of the pieces of broken crystal to get his attention. He turned his focus back to her, lining up attack after attack.

Calmly, from behind the defense of her relic, she walked towards him.

There was a tornado of transmutation effects around her, crystals flying through the air, the very dimensions of the room changing to try and force her off her path, but it all bounced harmlessly away.

And then his hand touches the surface of the bubble, and something neither of them could have expected happened.

His arm passed right through it, and the bubble expanded to include the both of them, but outside, everything seemed completely frozen. Wait, no - not frozen. Watching them for a few more seconds, Lucretia realised they were moving, just incredibly slowly. Whatever had happened when the two relics combined powers, it seemed to have slowed down time itself.

There was no noise coming from outside, either, the bubble seemed to have muffled everything. All they could hear was their combined breathing, now so much louder without the sounds of fighting.

Stone-Taako didn’t wait around to process this. He seemed very uncomfortably in the enclosed space, and immediately tried to cast something to reverse it. But whatever spells he tried, none of them were working. Maybe they were also in a spell dampening field? Or maybe the power to keep up this relic combination effect was preventing him from using the stone. Lucretia didn’t want to risk testing it with her own relic. This was a rare opportunity, and she wasn’t about to waste it.

“We need to talk.”

He whipped around to face her, angry, but there was a hint of desperation under it.

“The fuck have you done?”

That was a good question, actually.

“This… wasn’t on purpose. I honestly don’t know how this happened, there’s never been a case of two relics used in conjunction before. But right now we’re both stuck here, so as I said, you need to explain yourself right the fuck now.”

“Are we really still on this?” the stone asked incredulously. “ _Listen._ You can’t save him. This is what I _do._ You all designed me, didn’t you? I create. I can’t help if that means I use up mortals in the process, _they’re_ the ones who never survive. I was hoping Taako would be the first one who could help me, but he turned out to be useless too. Everyone’s useless, all of you, what’s your _purpose?_ None of them ever know! And they’re surprised when I’m the only one left.”

It seemed… genuinely frustrated at that. Which might have been interesting if it wasn’t still actively putting Taako in danger.

“What have you done to him?” Lucretia asked, making sure to keep them on track. This was about Taako, whatever other concerns the stone had didn’t matter when it was wearing her friend’s face.

Stone-Taako stared at her for a second, then sighed, seeming to give up on looking for an exit. As was fast becoming the usual with the stone, Lucretia wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or bad.

“Okay, just so you know, you can’t fix it,” the stone started. “But if it’ll get you all to quit hounding me… suppressed, I guess? So, your mind has layers, right?” He demonstrated with his hands, putting one over the other. “All the different parts that tell your body what to do. And they’re all making connections between each other all the time. When someone accepts me as a focus, I become another layer. And the more you use me, the more connections are made, until,” he closed his hands into fists, “everything gets so tangled I’m like a permanent fixture. Taako’s consciousness is still technically _here_ , I just shut off his connections to everything. At this point, I’m the only one who could possibly put this mess back to how it was, and I _like_ having a body.”

“Is that why you talk like him?” Lucretia asked.

“What?”

“You talk like Taako. You didn’t always.”

“Yeah, I think some wires got crossed in the process? It was inevitable really, it’s still _his_ subconscious. But I’m running the joint now, ya dig?”

Gods, this still really creeped her out. But at least now she knew how it happened. _Why,_ on the other hand...

“The Taako I knew wouldn’t have allowed anything into his mind like that.”

The stone just laughed at her.

“Was the last time you saw him the last time I saw him? ‘Cause this ain’t the Taako you knew, homie. Something really fucked up his mind, like, _man_ -”

“I did,” Lucretia interrupted, looking at the floor. So this _was_ her fault. Definitively.

“That was _you?”_ The stone asked incredulously, giving a low whistle. “Man, if saving Taako is what you were going for, you really screwed the pooch on that one. I mean how can you be any more _wrong_ than that?”

She’d been asking herself the same question.

“...I wasn’t trying to save him. Not back then. I wanted him safe and happy, of course, but I was saving this whole planet. We ruined it, because of you and your brethren, artefacts that should never have been released into the world. So if myself and my family took a bit of collateral damage, I thought it was worth it. And honestly, I didn’t know the effect it would have on him. I thought he’d be better off not remembering, he was in so much pain after Lup disappeared. Surely anything had to be better than that.”

“Listen, I don’t know who the fuck Lup is? But he must have been _seriously_ fucked up before if you thought leaving his mind in pieces was the better option.”

“You don't…” Lucretia started, then stopped. So the stone only had access to what Taako currently remembered, nothing deeper. It couldn’t see past the voidfish static. She filed that information away for later then tried again.

“Clearly there were things I didn’t anticipate. True, I had blinders on, it's a flaw of mine. But you’ve got no right to judge me for anything, you’re little more than a magical parasite. And you’re going to give me back my friend. Taako’s been through enough.”

The stone’s anger flared again, and it made to cast a spell at her, but before it could, she was already casting her own, breaking whatever effect they’d just created, and throwing another shield up around herself for it to harmlessly bounce off.

With time restarted, the stone was once more dragged into the fight. Which left Lucretia to stand and wonder if she’d actually accomplished anything.

* * *

With all the developments of the past few minutes, all Magnus was finding himself thinking was - Was everyone else right? Had they failed already?

He didn’t want to just take the stone at its word about Taako being gone, but with how things were right now, it was sure looking that way. And how were they supposed to save their friend if they were still focused on saving themselves? This fight wasn’t exactly easy, especially when Magnus didn’t have any magic to contribute.

Lucretia seemed to be holding her own well, especially when that bubble thing happened, but it was only up for a few seconds as far as Magnus could tell. And only a few more after that for Taako to be disoriented, before he seemed to refocus and redoubled his efforts.

And also started hovering, because he didn’t have enough stereotypical villain stuff going already. It made sense, he was harder to hit this way, and levitation was pretty easy transmutation, but how the hell was Magnus supposed to fight him now?

He didn’t have to wait long for the answer.

Magnus had been expecting to see new spells in this fight. What Magnus had _not_ been expecting was for every statue in the place to suddenly animate and start attacking them.

It wasn't the first time Magnus had seen him use that spell, but it had never seemed so... _evil_ before.

At least these he could hit, even if they were obviously meant to keep him and the other fighters occupied.

He dodged one attack, and struck back with his axe, trying not to think about the possibility that these used to be people. If they were, they were dead before Magnus ever saw them. The stone killed them, not him.

...It didn’t make things easier.

He failed to notice the second statue coming at him, and their next hit sent him flying backwards. Magnus made a mental note: don’t ever attack anything made of rock. That shit _hurt._

And then the worst thing happened. He heard a scream from behind him, and turned to see one of their fighters slowly crystallising.

He rushed over to try to help, but there was nothing he could do. They were already too far gone, trying to amputate the crystal would kill them.

And then, in seconds, they were gone.

If he had magic, maybe he could have helped. If he’d been better at convincing Taako to come with them when Taako was still conscious, maybe this wouldn’t have happened. Or maybe it all would have happened anyway. Magnus hated feeling useless in any situation, but especially one this horrifying.

_Gods, Taako, what have you done?_

* * *

Barry needed to think. He could solve this, there had to be a way, he just needed to calm down, and breathe, and- no, not that fast, that’s hyperventilating, which was the opposite of what he needed to do, because he needed to calm down and think and figure this out and-

A wave of calm washed over him suddenly and he blinked. He looked around and found Merle, bible in hand.

“Uh… thanks?” He hadn’t realised just how much the panic was affecting him until it was gone.

“Ah, don’t mention it, you need your brain here, and losing it won’t help anyone,” Merle told him.

“Right,” Barry agreed. Yeah, that made sense.

Okay, solution time.

What could they do?

A counter enchantment - or any enchantment really - wouldn’t work here because this wasn’t Taako, this was the relic, and the relic wasn’t enchanted.

Could they do anything to the relic? Not without hurting Taako.

Okay, so they needed Taako back. Or, if not that, a way for Barry to communicate with him.

But how…?

Message and other telepathy spells wouldn’t work, because the person using Taako’s brain right now was the relic. If Taako was still alive, he was asleep.

...Wait.

He had an idea. It was kind of crazy, but hey, those were the best ones sometimes, right? And it had like… at least a 40% chance of not immediately going to shit. So frankly, he’d take it.

“Lucretia!” he called across the battlefield.

She turned and began running over to him.

“Please tell me you’ve got an idea. Preferably just a real fucking knockout, the best idea any of us have ever heard. We need it,” she said once she reached him.

“Well… no, but I do have _an_ idea?” he offered.

“Fuck it, I’ll take it, what’ve you got?”

“Do you still have the voidfish ichor on you?”

She nodded, and handed it over to him.

“Okay… Just stating for the record, this may be one of the most bullshit plans I’ve literally ever conceived,” he admitted. “But it’s the best I got.”

He focused carefully on the ichor, making sure he’d cast the right enchantments for this to work.

“Oh, and we should probably get over to the retreat zone,” he added as an afterthought. “I’m not exactly gonna be conscious for this next part.”

Davenport was already over by the retreat zone, fighting some of Stone-Taako’s crystal minions. Exactly who Barry was looking for. They could really use his help on this.

“Hey, Cap’n’port!” he called, beckoning him over to the retreat zone.

“What do you need?” Davenport asked, once they were all inside.

“You know how to cast Dream, right?” Barry asked.

“Of course,” Davenport answered. “Why?”

“Okay, so, I’ve been thinking it over, and I’ve made some modifications to it using some conjuration techniques?” He detailed what he was intending to do. “Do you think you could help with that?”

Barry could tell Davenport was putting the pieces together in his head.

“Bold move,” he said eventually. “But yeah, I can do that.”

“Perfect,” Barry said, sitting down in a meditating position, gripping the flask of ichor tightly. “All right then, whenever you’re ready.”

And together, they cast the new spell.

For a moment everything was dark, and Barry had no body, just floating in the void. It would probably be terrifying if he hadn’t had more than enough experience with that as a lich.

But then his feet touched ground. He had made it. And more importantly, he could feel the flask in his hand. Whether or not it would work was another matter entirely, but the enchantments had worked, it was here.

...Wherever here was, exactly. Barry opened his eyes.

He was in some kind of crystal room, perfectly crafted. It would have been beautiful if it weren’t for the fact that it was completely dark and empty. It seemed… dead, somehow. And slouching against the far wall was Taako, looking very much as if he’d given up. He glanced up as Barry entered, surprised, but his eyes didn’t lose the heaviness.

“Literally what the fuck,” were the first words out of Taako’s mouth. “How did you get in here, my dude? I mean, don’t get me wrong, Taako’s hella grateful to see, anyone, really, but this makes about zero sense.”

Barry couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry. This was the first time he’d seen Taako properly since… since Lucretia wiped their memories? He very nearly ran over to hug him, but refrained ay the last second - Taako wouldn’t take that well if he didn’t remember. Still… _gods_ Barry had missed him so much.

“Okay,” he started. “I know you have a lot of questions, that I can’t really answer-”

“Not really, my man,” Taako interrupted.

“-you… What?”

“Look, I don’t know how the fuck you got here, if you wanna explain that go right ahead, but other than that, this situation seems pretty cut and dry. You want the stone to stop fucking murdering people - hey, me too! But in case you haven’t noticed - not my mind anymore.”

He wasn’t looking at Barry anymore, instead playing with a small piece of crystal in his hand. Looking closer at the wall behind Taako, Barry realised some parts of the crystal had been broken off.

...There wasn’t anything in here he could have used to break the crystal.

And Taako had that look about him, the one where he was trying really hard not to care about a situation he obviously did.

“I can’t do anything from in here,” Taako continued, “so you can kiss any plans you had to get me back goodbye. The smart thing to do here is just kill me and get it over with. If you can’t do that, run as far away as you can.”

What… no. No, that- _no._

“Taako, I’m… I’m not gonna kill you.”

That should have gone without saying, no matter the situation. But instead Taako seemed frustrated by the refusal, crossing his arms and impatiently slamming his head back against the wall.

“Then you’re _wasting your time._ I don’t know why the fuck you care so much, but I’m telling you, I’m not _me_ anymore. And quite frankly, I hate this entire situation, so you’d be doing us both a favour-

“I can get you your memories back!” Barry interrupted before he could go any further down _that_ road.

Taako didn’t move his head, but his eyes snapped back to Barry.

“Which ones am I missing, my dude? I mean, the stone was fucking with my head for a while there, but it seems to have abandoned that for just straight up _becoming_ my head, so other than the fact I’m still fucking trapped in here, I’m like, _good.”_

“The ones where you’ve forgotten us. It’s honestly real hard to explain in a way you’ll be able to hear? But we _are_ your family. A few years ago, something took your memories, changed them, so you’d think you’ve been alone this whole time. If you need proof, think about the time before your cooking show. Not your childhood, right before then. What were you doing with your life? Why did you decide to start a cooking show? If you don’t remember, or find it hazy and difficult to think about, you’ll know I’m right.”

Taako didn’t say anything, so Barry continued.

“And I know you well enough at this point to know you’re thinking about how you never had family, so five random people turning up out of nowhere shouldn’t really be trusted, but please just give us the benefit of the doubt. Because that family, those connections you think it’s impossible for you to have? _You found that._ Years ago. And you were happier for it. So I'm hoping as hard as i can that this works. Because _fuck_ , Taako, I miss having you around so goddamn much.”

Taako didn’t say anything, just continued staring suspiciously at him. Then, after a moment, he pulled his eyes away, in deep thought.

Enough time passed that Barry wasn’t sure if he should say something. But before he had a chance to do what he assumed would be some awkward flailing around with words, Taako spoke up.

“I mean, look, I’m not saying I believe you, but how sure are you you even want me back? Being alone made me who I am, and even if that is all fake, I can’t change that. Whoever you’re hoping to see, he might not be the same person I am now.”

“Well, other than the fact that I’m reasonably confident I can get you your memories back, I don’t care, Taako. I miss _you_ , no matter what you’ve been through. The fact that I’m here should be proof enough, right? Whoever you are now, it can’t be any worse than whatever’s currently controlling you. And hell, I was willing to give even that Taako a chance. You’ve always got a family with me if you want it.”

More silence.

“...How are you supposed to give me my memories back, anyway?”

Barry raised the flask of ichor.

“So… I don't know for _sure_ this’ll work in here? ‘Cause we’re inside your head, and I guess that means that _technically_ this doesn’t exist. But I can’t exactly give it to your body right now, and they are _your_ memories, they’re still in here somewhere? So this is the next best thing.”

“And that is…?” Taako asked, gesturing at it with a hand.

...Which was when Barry encountered _another_ problem.

“Uh… I can’t say its name or you’ll hear static? But it, uh…” Fuck, how did he explain this in a way Taako could hear? “It helps you recover memories that have been taken, and see through parts of reality that have been censored? Does that make sense?”

Taako nodded slowly, then stood and deftly snatched the flask out of Barry’s hand.

“Normally this would be the part where I get suspicious of you trying to poison me, but, one, we’re in my head so I don’t _think_ that would work, and two, this situation absolutely cannot get worse for me, so… fuck it,” he said, and downed it.

And when he did, the whole room lit up. Images flashed across the walls that Barry could only assume were Taako’s missing memories.

Originally they started as all sorts of things, some he recognised from their journey, others that seemed to be from their home plane, before they met. But eventually they all coalesced into one - the girl in every memory, the girl with fire in her hands and her soul, who could turn any situation into something to laugh about. The girl who’d been by Taako’s side his entire life until now. _Lup._

Barry averted his eyes. Taako wouldn’t want him digging in his memories, and honestly, Barry wasn’t even sure _he_ wanted him to see this. The wounds were still too fresh, too recent. Seeing Lup, smiling, fighting, _living_ , it hurt.

“Well, uh, that’s, probably a good thing? I can not look if you want, I know you’re pretty private about that-” he broke off, looking back at Taako, who was on his hands and knees, staring at the floor. “Hey, Taako? Taako?”

Barry knelt down next to his friend. “You okay there, bud? It’s a lot to take in, I know-”

“ _Who did this,”_ Taako cut in through gritted teeth.

“What?”

“ _Fisher. Who._ _Did. This?”_

“I- Lucretia, but I-”

“I’m gonna kill her.”

“Taako, I get it, _trust me_ , but you can’t be mad at her right now, okay? We’ve got bigger problems to-”

Before he could finish his sentence, Taako pushed him away, scrambling to his feet.

“I don’t give a fuck, Barry! Okay? I don’t _fucking_ care! She took _Lup_. If we’d still remembered we would have kept looking and we’d have found her and now she’s _gone,_ how are you _okay_ with this?!?”

Taako kicked against the wall and the images stopped, the room fading back to its previous darkness.

“And that’s e-fucking-nough of that.”

He backed up to the wall and slowly slid down it again, looking distantly at the ground like he was fighting a whole war inside his mind. And while his words had been desperate, his voice was just… hollow.

“All of this? This is _her fault._ If I’d had Lup, if I- if I wasn’t by myself that whole time, none of this would have happened.” He ran a hand across his face and looked up at Barry. “So when we all die, you can let Lucretia know she fucked up.”

“Taako, we’re not all gonna die!”

They wouldn't. Barry didn’t believe that for a second. They hadn’t come this far to fail now.

Taako gave a helpless shrug, gesturing to the place they were in.

“Evidence says otherwise, my fella.”

No. No, Barry wasn’t entertaining this.

“I’m not giving up on us so easily.”

“Good for you,” Taako stated drily. “But I stand by what I said earlier. If anything, now I’m even more sure? I know that relic, and what it does. The _only_ way you get out of this is if you kill me.”

No, he wasn’t doing that, they’d find a way around it, they had to. How could Taako even ask that of him??

His expression must have been too obvious, because Taako just dragged a hand across his face and continued.

“No, stop looking at me like that, if it makes you feel any better, I don’t give a _shit_. I have _nothing left_ on this plane! My life was already a goddamn mess, my sister’s probably _dead_ , I don’t even have control over my own _body_ anymore, and hey, other me’s stolen a part of the light, which was the only thing attracting the hunger, so there goes our escape plan! There is _no_ way out of this for me that ends well! So, you-”

He stopped, and slumped back again, looking at the ground.

“...You might as well save whoever of you still wants to stick around.”

“Are you sure you have no control?” Barry asked. “I mean, look at what just happened with your memories. You turned this place _yours_. You don’t think with some help you could get your body back?”

Apparently, Taako wouldn’t be convinced that easy.

“Remembering things that were there the whole time is a lot different than fighting the damn _light of creation_ , Barold, you should know that, you spent the most time with the fucking thing.”

“Okay, well, technically the stone is only 14% of it. Second, _it’s your relic_ , you should know how it works better than anyone. And third, all of this? Is just your mind. I don't know who you were before this, whatever person the voidfish turned you into to be thralled by that thing, but the Taako I know? Best transmutation wizard in a hundred planes and counting? There’s no way he’d be held back by something like this. Let alone something he built. Because he’s way too smart for that. So your spells before didn’t work. Try something _better._ ”

Taako was silent for a long time. Then-

“I don’t have a focus.”

Okay, that one was easy. Come on, Taako, _really?_

“You have a piece of magic crystal literally in your hand right now.”

Taako thought it over, then slowly dragged himself to his feet, using the wall as support.

He slowly turned the crystal over in his hand, not so much analysing it as he was using it to think. And then he pressed his other hand to the wall of the room.

Light rippled from the top of the dome to the bottom, and as it did, it started to take the room with it, shifting the crystals out of place and further and further down until there were no walls at all, just a circle on the floor of a much larger space, still too dark to see much further than where they were standing.

“Huh,” Taako said to the darkness. “How about that.”

“Yeah, see!” Barry said. Finally, they were getting somewhere with this. “You can’t give up on yourself so easy. I know you can take back control of your body, and we’re all here to help you do it.”

This wasn't over. They were going to win.

But then-

“Sorry about this,” Taako told him, and before Barry could figure out what he meant, Taako was muttering the words of a spell. Barry had only a few seconds to register what Taako was saying before he was forcibly expelled from Taako’s mind.

He woke up still in the retreat zone, in the same position as before, but the battlefield around him was significantly more destroyed. The battle was still going strong - everything that had happened between him and Taako, it hadn’t affected the stone yet.

“Come on, Taako…” he muttered under his breath, looking up at his friend. “You got this, don’t give up, _please_.”

The only person who could save Taako now was Taako himself. Barry just had to hope he would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so you may notice the part one and that i've added an extra chapter onto this
> 
> that's bc 15 was supposed to be all one chapter and then it just kept getting longer and longer
> 
> like this is only part _one_ and it's still my longest chapter yet
> 
> this isnt too bad cliffhanger wise, and i have a cold which is making me want to do more sleeping than writing, so i may be another week, but i'll get part two up asap
> 
> (edit bc i feel bad about the radio silence - i def have not abandoned this, just a lot of shit happened all at once and time kinda got away from me, next chapter will be up when i can, and thanks so much for your patience)
> 
> also thanks to everyone who left feedback on the last chapter i appreciate all of you :D

**Author's Note:**

> come talk to me at my [tumblr](http://atalana.tumblr.com/)


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